Big Brother Recap: “Spineless Jellyfish, A House Meeting From Hell, And The Live Eviction”

Tonight’s Live Eviction episode of Big Brother found Adam and Dominic on the block. Would Dominic get the boot, ensuring that he can no longer grope Dani at every opportunity possible, like in the picture above? Or was it Adam, the bacon-eating, sign-of-the-devil-waving, Metalhead Superfan? But more importantly, would Julie Chen be wearing something ridiculous again? I mean, how do you top a cape?

My Random Thoughts:

- Daniele throws a lot of threats around for someone with no power at all, don’t you think? Independent of her idle Diary Room threats, to walk in the HoH room and say how pissed you’re going to be if Dominic goes home, is just foolish. Looks like someone doesn’t really know how to play the game when Daddy isn’t around to bully everyone else as a form of protection.

- Kalia lied to Jordan in the Have Not room after being asked if she was aware of the backdoor plan that was being discussed earlier in the week. Thank goodness for Big Brother’s handy video recap from 3 days earlier when we were reminded of Kalia’s knowledge and involvement in the plan.

- Jeff then went to Dom and didn’t get the answers he wanted, and even went so far as to say “you’re an accessory to backdooring me”, which may the gayest thing said in the house this season…that wasn’t spoken by Lawon. That line seems more suited for a maximum security prison instead of the Big Brother House.

- Brendon was sitting in the back “trying to enjoy the peace and quiet” (maybe you wouldn’t have to search for peace and quiet if you weren't with Rachel - RACHEL BURN!) when Kalia came out and all hell broke loose, so she went back inside and flipped a water bottle cap obsessively. Clearly, there was only one solution: time for a HOUSE MEETING!

- At this tornado of a House Meeting, Kalia yelled at everyone, Dani called Rachel an idiot, Brendon went into defensive boyfriend mode, Dani owned up to the master plan, Shelly apparently just wanted to get some food out of her teeth, Lawon said he was going to win everything (???), and Rachel cautioned Kalia that Dani would “sell you out under the bus”, making me wonder what the hell that even means. Seriously, how could that happen? Do you actually have to both go under the bus before one of them sells the other out? Logistically speaking, it sounds very awkward.

- Brendon and Rachel have to start realizing that just because someone has decided not to be part of your alliance…that doesn’t make them a floater. From time to time, these alleged “floaters” (and Superfloaters!) team up and band together…forming what can only be described as “an alliance”, which is pretty much the same as you.

- New Big Brother drinking game: take a drink anytime anyone says “100%.” Take two drinks anytime anyone gives a percentage above 100%. Also, take a drink anytime Brendon mentions “rocket science.”

- I know I’ve given Shelly a hard time so far this season about that masculine voice, her tendency to shoot and kill animals, and that lovely scene where she left a bawling 8-year-old in the driveway, but I realized something about her this week. If you took Britney Spears and gave her a rough fifteen or 20 years…you would get the picture below:

- Julie asked Daniele if she was shocked at how confrontational the house had become, which may have been the dumbest question that the Chenbot has ever asked. You’re talking to the woman who played the game for an entire summer with Evel Dick, and grew up with him as her father…and you’re asking if she is shocked by the confrontational aspect??

- Dominic’s “farewell” speech started off sugary but then devolved into talking about the “spineless jellyfish” in this house, talking about the Newbies and their unwillingness to take a stand against the Veteran Alliance of 4. I think it should have 100% (take a drink, bitches) been directed at Daniele, since she’s really the reason he got evicted. Also, did that Bruno Mars wanna-be really try to justify throwing the last POV competition when he was talking to Julie Chen?

- The goodbye messages were actually pretty entertaining, with Jordan doing an impression of Rachel, and Lawon comparing himself to a pimple, and then telling Dominic “we are boys for life!” Does that mean they will both have a penis for the rest of their respective lives? That neither of them will ever have a sex change, or gender reassignment surgery? This needed to be specified? Really? Maybe I need to stop assessing literal meanings to everything the houseguests say…especially Lawon.

- After a nailbiter in the first week in terms of who was going to get evicted, we’ve now had 2 weeks in a row where the outcome was evident long before the episode, and the vote was unanimous or nearly unanimous. Sure, Daniele threw a spite vote Adam’s way, but that made no difference. Now that the game has shifted to everyone playing for themselves again, hopefully we’ll see a little more drama.

- Julie Chen then delivered the news to the hamsters that we (and they) already knew: no more Duos, no more Golden Keys...and even though she teased some big news, and a big twist…nothing happened! What the hell?

- The HoH competition was an endurance challenge which found the houseguests standing on a pair of skis…a variation on the surfboard challenge from last season, including the addition of prizes for the first 5 players to be eliminated (Can you say Unitard?). I have to say that the German-themed music would drive me insane long before I would be close to falling off of my skis.

Looks like we won’t find out until Sunday who the new HoH is, and please remember that I do not watch or read the Live Feeds, so please NO SPOILERS in the Comments. (I’m predicting Brendon or Daniele for the win.)

Just a quick note, if there are any poker fans out there, check out my recent post on my trip to Las Vegas to participate in the 2011 World Series of Poker. Keep in mind that there’s more than just Reality TV on this site, so check out the sidebar on the left for some of the near-600 posts in the archive.

Please keep in mind that my recaps will always be based on the TV airings of Big Brother. I do not, and will not, be watching or reading any info from the live feeds. Please keep that in mind as I intend to keep the entire season on my site SPOILER-FREE. After each episode, my recaps should be online and live within 15 minutes of the show ending on the East Coast.

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