September 15, 2010; Survivor Recap: Old vs. New

After another Probst-less summer, it’s time for us junkies to get our fix once again, so settle in, grab a cold one and let’s talk Survivor: Nicaragua. For the record, every time I type that, I want you to imagine that I’m saying it in a very thick and authentic Latin/Hispanic accent…so that it sounds like Nee-Kah-RRRRAHG-Wah. More authentic, don’t you think?

To the returning readers, Welcome back! It’s nice to see you again. And for those of you new to my blog and my Survivor Recaps, a hearty welcome as well, and a couple of things you should know: a) the recaps should be up within 20 minutes (often less) of when the show ends on the East Coast, b) the pictures will all have hidden captions underneath, so make sure to mouse over them if you want to see them, and c) I love Comments, so let’s all get involved in the Comments section for this season.

The premiere of Survivor is always so overwhelming, so instead of a traditional ‘Random Thoughts’ format (like I will be doing for the rest of the season), for tonight I’ll be going with my First Impressions of the new Castaways, based on tonight’s episode alone.

First Impressions:

Alina – Art student who decided to keep the Immunity Idol a secret with Kelly B. Not much to go on yet.

Benry – I’m not going to be able to get past the name. As most of you know, I’m a Lost junkie, and when Michael Emerson’s character was first introduced in Season 2, his name was Henry Gale, before we later learned that his name was actually Ben Linus. The Blogosphere and Lostophiles alike started referring to him as “Benry”, and that’s all I can think of when I hear that name.

Brenda – The flirty one who found the Medal of Power. Looks like she’ll try to use that (the flirtiness) throughout the game.

Chase – The best Survivor Job Caption since Erik the Ice Cream Scooper. “Pro Race Car Jackman”…are you serious? I don’t have enough time to list all of the jokes that are going through my head right now.

Holly – Overplaying the game from the get-go. Running up to people the second you get back to camp and saying “I like you. I trust you. Let’s be in an alliance” comes across a little too eager, don’t you think?

Jane – The 56-year-old firestarter with the dead husband. Please don’t tell me we’re going to have to hear about dead hubby every episode.

Jimmy J. – I was very vocal about being annoyed that he was on the show. I did, however, like the speech he gave his tribemates about trying to help them win because he could never win the prize (and he’s right). The “Coach” in him, sure came through in that speech.

Jimmy T. – Looks like an animated character, or maybe an old pro wrestler. Those are some scary Man boobs. 48 years old, but looks 70. 18 years younger than Jimmy Johnson, but looks 15 years older.

Jud – They nicknamed him Fabio, but “idiot” would probably be more appropriate. I predict every 3rd word from him will be “dude”, and he will treat the game like a frat house.

Kelly B. – Did she really think she was going to keep an artificial leg a secret? Especially when the CBS cast photo showed her with the prosthetic visible. YES people are staring at your leg…it looks like your shoe is floating in mid-air.

Kelly S. – Barbie-esque blonde...”Purple Kelly”. Was she even in the episode other than giggling at her own name to Jeff?

Marty – Seems like a smart and composed character. I like him.

NaOnka – Not sure what to think, but if your name sounds like something that a dolphin would say to a whale, then you need to make a pretty good impression on me, and I haven’t seen anything yet.

Shannon – Declared a) that he’s never called a woman a dumb blonde before, but Jud is a Dumb blonde, b) that he doesn’t want a woman to win the game, c) that men already “get owned in marriage” by women, and d) that there will probably be a woman president next. Do you think someone has a bit of resentment towards women because he was given the name “Shannon” as a child?

Wendy – Her husband thought she would be the first one eliminated, so she decided to “hide my true self.” Well, if the crazy goat rancher with the western jacket WITH TASSLES and the turned up cowboy hat isn’t the true you…I don’t want to meet the true you. Also, for the record, unless you’re Madonna, nobody should be wearing that damn cowboy hat. Not your drunken girlfriend at the bar, not Bret Michaels, not even you, Jeff Probst!

Yve – Looked annoyed because she had to go with the old tribe. I think she’s a cougar who likes to go to the bars every weekend and act like she’s 22. That was confirmed when she made a point at Tribal Council of saying that you never ask a woman her age.

Dan, Jill, Sash, Tyrone – I have no idea because I don’t really know who you are.

Other Thoughts:

- I’m already not a fan of this move to Wednesday nights. It just feels wrong.

- I liked the choice they had to make at the beginning, between the unknown power and the Fishing Gear/Flint. Only because they implemented one of my suggestions from last season…what you don’t choose, the other tribe gets. Love it.

- Only 21 minutes into the first episode before the first blurred crotch of the season. A new Survivor record!

- La Flor’s entrance made it obvious that they are there to be silly and goofy, and that they don’t see this being much of a competition against “the old folks.” I think that will be a mistake.

- I think the Medallion twist is great. An advantage at challenges that switches tribes after you use it. This should be good over the course of the season.

- During the challenge, when you heard Jeff yell out “Older tribe with a great flow”, how many of you thought it might be time to book a prostate exam soon?

- Jimmy T. declared at Tribal council that Jimmy Johnson could win the game because if you play the best, the jury will give you the prize. Maybe someone should have explained that to the Jury BOTH times that Russell got screwed.

- So Wendy got the boot, proving her husband right. Home to the goats, and a token question from Probst at the reunion show.

Now, based on first impressions alone, if I had to choose a player who I think could go all the way at this point, I would go with Marty (dark horse = Alina). But what do I know…I picked the first one voted out the last two seasons.

What did you think? Who is your pick? Will this Old vs Young twist be as ridiculous as I’m expecting it to be? Let’s hear from you in the Comments section.

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Thanks for reading.

December 21, 2009

I’ve watched all 19 seasons of Survivor, and while I’ve sat through horrible seasons (Vanuatu, Thailand), watched the horror of Vecepia winning in Marquesas, or Sandra and Lillian as the final two in Pearl Islands, and even watched as Amber beat a deserving Boston Rob in the first All-Stars season, nothing was as painful as last night. Russell not winning the $1 Million Dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor was without a doubt the biggest travesty in the history of this show.

As we learned with the Boston Rob/Amber situation on the All-Stars season, sometimes you end up with a ridiculously bitter jury that refuses to acknowledge good game play and instead simply awards the prize to ‘the other option’. But other times, like in the China season, when Todd did the same things, the jury still voted for him. As much as you may hate what the player did to you, he or she did it within the confines and parameters of the game, and that’s good game play. If you can’t respect that and use that as part of your decision-making process, then you shouldn’t be handed the responsibility of helping to choose the winner.

I understand that it’s a social game, and that it’s a fine line between eliminating players and still being able to get their vote. But at it’s core, it’s still a game, and essentially the best player should have a shot to win the game. In last night’s episode, it was clear that Russell had no shot because of the pissy antics of the jury. What was the deal with Erik’s speech? For someone who came in 11th place in the game and whose sole memorable moment was clotheslining himself while chasing a chicken, it certainly was dramatic. I can’t tell if he was drunk, crying, or trying to get a date with Natalie…or none of the above. It just didn’t make any sense.

The jury in itself was clearly a bunch of idiots. Brett comes up and asked a homo-erotically charged question that confused everyone, and clearly made Mick feel uncomfortable. (Hey, remember Mick? He was there, too…did you see him?) Monica asked the standard ''tell me why the people sitting next to you don't deserve the million dollars" question, which, after 19 seasons, I feel is a cop-out. Dave asked a two-second question about percentages which seemed to have no purpose other than to make Russell look arrogant, which even a blind monkey knew prior to Tribal Council. Only Shambo and Erik had any passion or purpose, but both of them just wanted to insult people while saying that they already had their mind made up.

Look, I get that Russell was a total douchebag. I understand that. I hated him at the beginning of the season, but the fact that he was awesome at everything just has to grow on you. And it’s not just CBS editing him to look likeable…they did the exact opposite! They even labelled him “”The biggest villain in Survivor history.” And when he won that last immunity challenge head-to-head with Brett, that was just clutch. I’m talking Mariano-Rivera-bottom-of-the-ninth-in-the-World-Series clutch.

But the thing about Russell is that he absolutely OWNED everything he did. He made no excuses for it, and then answered everything honestly and openly at the Final Tribal Council. He was very straightforward with his moves, explaining when and why he did them, and flat out telling the jury “If you think one of them played a better game than me, give them the million dollars.” And no one on the jury can honestly say that, they can only say that Mick and Natalie played ‘a different game’.

I have nothing against Natalie…she was quite likable all season. It’s the jury that’s to blame, not her. And I understand that sometimes the smartest strategy is to align yourself with an aggressive player who will always be a big target, because then you’ll always be the SECOND choice to vote off, and have two votes minimum to work together…but if that’s what you did, then say it at the Tribal Council with the jury! She didn’t say anything to them that would have convince me to vote for her. All she said was that it was hard and she didn’t think she’d make it as far as she did. This is worth a million dollars? Independent of Russell, if I was leaning towards voting for Natalie going into that Tribal Council, and I heard her answers, I would have changed my mind to NOT vote for her because she proved that she did nothing during the game.
Today on the Early Show, Russell was very un-gracious when talking about the result, even going so far as to say Natalie was undeserving of the money and the title. I don’t necessarily agree with his methods after the fact…you can make your point without being a jerk now, but I understand he’s upset, and rightfully so. One of his comments this morning was “"You know, when you play a football game, and you're the quarterback to the football game, I'm throwing all the touchdown passes, right? She wasn't even on the field. She was my cheerleader." As jerky as that sounds, he’s right. You don’t give the Super Bowl trophy to the cheerleader. Natalie, to her credit, coolly responded that “Russell is a character, and I'm going to laugh all the way to the bank."

It’s really a shame that a great season like this had to end with such a travesty.

But here’s some good news for you Russell fans. If you watched the end of the reunion show, you saw that the next season of Survivor (shot in Samoa as well) is a Heroes vs. Villains theme featuring past contestants. Well, guess who is on the Villains tribe? That’s right….Russell! Immediately after this season ended, he went right back and shot the new season. It’ll be interesting to see how the others respond to him, considering they know nothing about him since his season had not yet aired when they were filming.

Richard Hatch was supposed to be on the villains tribe, but his legal problems kept him out of the cast. I’ve seen a list of the 20 Heroes and Villains for next season, but I won’t post it here for you spoiler-free readers. It will, however be in the Comments section, so be warned if you don’t want to know who is on next season.

December 18, 2009

Last night was the final episode of Survivor until the 3-hour finale and reunion on Sunday. Some thoughts on last night’s episode and the upcoming finale.

- I’m not sure why I don’t write a Survivor recap, like I do with The Amazing Race. I really enjoyed doing a regular weekly Amazing Race Post every week, and I’m thinking that I should work a Survivor recap in for the next season. We’ll see once the new season hits us in February.

- I’ve said it before, but Russell is without a doubt the best player in the history of this game. If you can tell me someone who has played a better game (whether they won or lost), please feel free to argue that point in the Comments section, because I’d love to hear it. From finding THREE immunity idols, and using two which essentially prolonged his life in the game, to aligning himself with the right people, to eliminating anyone who was getting ready to target him, to his abilities in challenges and around camp…this guy is the best.

From the very first season of Survivor, a winning strategy was clear…get an alliance of four, and stick with it, no matter what. That’s what happened with Richard, Sue, Kelly, and Rudy…and it got them to the final four. Yet for some reason, so many players don’t stick to that strategy..they flip and flop when the numbers dwindle, and ditch the original alliance. Stick with your group of 4, never waver, and human nature will take care of the rest. Russell, Mick, Jaison, and Natalie came into the merge down 8 members to 4…and they’re setting up to be the Final Four. Any future contestants should remember that lesson.

- I really enjoyed the reward challenge with the ropes holding up the coconuts. At it’s core, it was like a life-sized version of Jenga or Kerplunk, but I thought it was a great challenge. I had to laugh at Natalie’s request for God to guide them on this challenge, and to help them win. I always think it’s ridiculous that people ask God for help on something like this, like Jesus doesn’t have better things to do than to make sure you get a feast on Survivor. It wasn’t even an immunity challenge! So, when Natalie’s team ended up dropping about a MILLION coconuts to lose the challenge, I laughed because it was like Jesus was flipping her the bird and saying, “THAT’S what you get for even asking!” And how awesome was it to see Russell, at a key moment in the challenge, pick a rope that dropped NO coconuts. (see point above) If you want some insight into that challenge, read Jeff Probst’s blog from EW.com where he explains how it was created and that it actually took over FOUR HOURS to complete.

- There is absolutely no way that Brett can win this game, or even make the final Tribal Council for that matter. With the way they’ve edited him this season…like the fact that he never spoke until last week…he can’t possibly be in line to win the million dollars. They would never have avoided a player this much if he had a shot to win it in the end. He’s the first one out on Sunday’s finale.

- With all the talk of Shambo’s mullet, I thought she was going to end up with her head shaved somehow in this episode. Seriously, first Russell is talking about her hiding food in it, then Probst makes a comment during a challenge, and Shambo shares that she’s had it since 1986! Seriously? That’s disgusting. But not nearly as disgusting as the comment my girlfriend made during the episode, which involved a visual of how long the hair on OTHER parts of her body must be. I’ll leave it at that, because I’m starting to gag again…

- I’m looking forward to the finale. This has been a great season, and I’m sure the ending will be worth it. I’m picking Russell, because as much as people on the jury are upset at how he played the game, you can’t argue with his strategy. I think he’ll be able to explain it during the Final Tribal Council if he makes it.

Who’s your pick?

May 16, 2009

Well, Coach is finally gone from Survivor. He lasted right up until the episode before the finale. We all couldn't stand him, but make no mistake, it was good TV with him on the show. I recommend heading over to EW.com and seeing the video of the interview with Coach. It's quite entertaining...especially with Coach constantly asking and answering his own questions. "Did I lie to my tribemates? No. Did I wish I had a better game plan? Of course." Seriously, he does it about 25 times! hilarious.

Also check out the 2-part Survivor Talk episode with Jeff Probst in-studio with Josh Wolk. Probst is awesome as always, and pairing him up with Wolk makes for a great show.

Both videos are here.

The finale should be good on Sunday.