Big Brother Recap: "Rachel's Second Reign Of Terror Begins"

The worst possible scenario happened at the end of Thursday night’s Live Eviction show, as Rachel won her second HoH in the first 3 weeks of the game. Now that a few days have passed and we’ve all regained our voices after yelling at our televisions, the houseguests settled in for The Insane One’s Second Reign of Terror in the Big Brother House.

My Random Thoughts:

- First of all, I have to mention that after my last recap, I received an incredible amount of traffic (almost 1000 hits!) from people who were googling some sort of variation on the following two phrases: “Why was Julie Chen wearing a cape”, and “Rachel peeing on Big Brother.” It warms my heart to know that I am writing about what the masses want to hear…even if it involves Rachel’s bladder.

- Rachel started off this episode predictably bragging about her HoH win, stating “I’m on fire”…and millions of viewers everywhere were disappointed to see that she wasn’t actually in flames. Damn you, literal meaning!

- Earlier in the season, Brendon went on and on about how Rachel was De-Un-Masculinizing-tizing-ating him, but in my opinion there is nothing more emasculating than when Brendon said “Rachel is the brains in our operation.” Nothing she could ever do would be as insulting as what you just said.

- Lawon and Kalia were apparently a target this week because they haven’t done anything in the game so far, leading Rachel to brand them on a whole new level. They’re not just floaters, people…they’re SUPER floaters! I have to wonder, if a floater is someone who doesn’t do anything, what on earth do you have to do to be labeled a SUPER floater? Were you even aware that there were different levels of floater? I thought that it was just a concrete sort of thing…like “dead.”

- When Rachel came out and screamed “Who wants to see my HoH room?” only to be bombarded by pillows, I actually thought that was pretty funny.

- I really don’t think I understand anything that Lawon says. Do you?

- Dominic’s snoring was the topic of some hamster aggression, with Dani telling him “you sounded like a small dinosaur”, and Jeff saying “your existence disgusts me.” First of all, how does Dani know the sound differences of dinosaurs based on their size? And Second, Jeff’s comment was sort of harsh, but as we learned, he is a rather light sleeper, and Dom’s snoring keeps him awake, and chucking stuff at him in bed. Maybe that explains this picture.

- There was no Have/Have Not competition, but instead there was a luxury competition featuring a stranger in the backyard. The name of the guy in the backyard was ruined for me since I saw a commercial for the new show Same Name.

The David Hasselhoff Competition was just an extended commercial for the show: Jordan stumbled into the correct answer, KITT showed up in the backyard, Dom said that he “won the ultimate prize…I tucked in David Hasslehoff” (and you wonder why he’s a virgin), and the Hoff then mooched on the prize spread, wolfing down the sushi for the winners.

- Jordan’s choice of Jeff, Shelly, and Kalia to share in the Luxury Prize got Little Miss Entitlement Rachel upset. To be fair, it was a pretty dumb move, even though it made me happy to see her miss out. I mentioned in a post yesterday that there is a scenario that could arise that would force Rachel to nominate Jeff and Jordan, whether she wants to or not, so I’m not sure why you would do something to ruffle her feathers.

- After the competition, Brendon and Rachel went off to argue, and it was one of the most painful conversations I’ve ever watched 13 seasons of this show. From fake crying to rage in a split second, Rachel is like a toddler that didn’t get her way. And you know it’s 100% fake crying, with that whiny voice. Brendon was really no better, threatening to leave and quit the game. Then Rachel threatened to put Brendon up, and Brendon threatened to put Jeff and Jordan up. They’re both such drama queens…it makes me sick.

Plus, with all the drama that surrounds these two, they are a ticking time bomb. Does anyone think that this relationship will last? Anyone who thinks this “engagement" is about anything other than more fame-whoring, you’re out of your mind. Brendon has already proved that he’s happier flashing his junk on text messages than staying happy at home, and Rachel made it clear in one of her comments tonight that marrying Brendon wasn’t the main reason for her desire to get married…it’s the wedding.

Did you catch that part? In the middle of insulting him, she talked about how important the wedding was to her: “Even though you’re mean to me, I still want my dream wedding.” Not that she wanted to marry Brendon for love, happiness, and maybe a family down the road (Oh GOD, the horror!), she just wants the dream wedding. The most interesting thing about this whole scene was trying to figure out why Brendon has scabs on his knees. (Write your own joke for that one…too easy.)

- Dominic approached Brenchel about an alliance, and Brendon seemingly agreed, telling him: “we have to trust each other indefinitely.” I assume he meant “explicitly” instead of indefinitely, unless he meant that he has to trust Dominic for the rest of his life. I love that this guy is supposedly working on a PhD but consistently butchers the English language.

- Not shocking at all to see that Adam and Dominic were once again nominated for eviction. We’ll see what that really means after the POV competition.

Just a quick note, if there are any poker fans out there, check out my recent post on my trip to Las Vegas to participate in the 2011 World Series of Poker. Keep in mind that there’s more than just Reality TV on this site, so check out the sidebar on the left for some of the near-600 posts in the archive.

Please keep in mind that my recaps will always be based on the TV airings of Big Brother. I do not, and will not, be watching or reading any info from the live feeds. Please keep that in mind as I intend to keep the entire season on my site SPOILER-FREE. After each episode, my recaps should be online and live within an hour (often less) of the show ending on the East Coast.

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