Will I Be Recapping Survivor And The Amazing Race?

With the new seasons of Survivor and The Amazing Race set to kick off next week, I thought I should address the status of my recaps, and what I’m planning for the upcoming seasons. As many of you know (or may have read in a previous post from March), I was taking a break from my recaps since everything was pretty busy. So the question is: Will I be recapping again for this season?
 

Before I answer that, let me give you a little bit of background on how these recaps came to be. At first, I just started making ‘Random Thoughts’ on the episodes, back when everything on here was simply in bullet-point Random Thought format. That evolved into posts on the individual episodes, and when the response was so positive, I obviously put a lot more effort into the recaps. Before long, with 10,000 hits/month, I wasn’t writing anything other than these recaps any more, and they were taking a lot of effort to come up with the ‘product’ that I wanted.
 

Now, I know that you can find any smarmy, sarcastic guy on the internet ranting about your favourite show. I’m not egotistical enough to think that I’m the only one that does that. But I also know that the major appeal of my recaps vs. others was that it was always up within an hour of the show ending. I mean, on Thursday morning, you can find 300 Survivor Recaps, but at 10:00 pm ET on Wednesday night, you can only find a handful. And with the proper promotion, you can ensure that when people are searching “Survivor Recap”and the date, you’re going to be one of the first hits, as long as you have a recap published by then.
 

But it’s a lot of work.
 

So, on Wednesdays for Survivor, for instance, I would get home from work, have dinner, and then by 7:00, I would write my teaser post, and search for any photos available from the upcoming episode. After that, I would have to load the photos to a dummy location to ensure when I was done my actual recap, I could just cut and paste the photos in where I wanted them instead of waiting to load them all. This would take close to an hour, so now we’re coming up on when the show airs live on the East Coast.
 

So at 8:00 ET, the show starts, and I’m watching with my laptop on my lap. I’m a quick typer, so I can jot my bullet points down as the episode goes on without really missing anything, but often I would have to pause the show (on DVR) and back it up to see something I may have missed, or to get the exact wording of a quote I wanted to use. I would make up all of the time on the commercial breaks, so I would finish watching at the same time, but it was always staggered with watching, pausing, typing, then watching, pausing, typing, etc… That’s not a fun way to watch your favourite show, trust me.
 

Now the show is over at 9:00, and I take my bullet points that I’ve been taking throughout the show, and write the recap itself. That usually takes about 30-40 minutes. After that, I work the photos in where I want them to go, and add some snippy little captions for each…then hit PUBLISH, and it’s up and live. This is usually done by 10:00 pm.
 

But there’s still more work. I now have to post links on Facebook at places where readers are used to getting them, as well as Twitter, and a few message boards. Yes, I know, it’s just self-promotion, but if you want readers, they have to come from somewhere. I’m happy that once I got readers, I was pretty consistently able to retain them, but you have to get them to begin with. The amount of work I had to do posting at these locations would take close to an hour.
 

So now, I’ve been working on this recap for about 4 hours. It’s late, I’m tired, I have to work the next morning, and I’ve barely spent any time with my girlfriend. (Thankfully my son isn’t with me on Wednesdays.) That’s a pretty big commitment. Factor in that I’m also doing it on Sunday nights for The Amazing Race, and there are 2 nights gone for the week.

 And here’s the thing…I love doing these recaps. They’re fun, and a great way for me to express my sense of humour, and sarcastically look at the show.

 

But my son is 11 years old, and spending time with him is way more important that watching TV. My girlfriend and I just bought our dream home and moved in 2 weeks ago, and I’d rather enjoy that experience as we adjust to our new lives there. I'm doing a lot of television work with local sports which keeps me very busy. Also, I’d much prefer to record Survivor and watch it later before bed, instead of making sure I’m in front of a TV at 8:00. And watching the show without having to pause it constantly is really, really enjoyable.
 

Here’s the thing, I still love writing about the show, but I know that if I write the next day and post it at some point on Thursday, I’ll probably get only 10-15% of the traffic than getting the recaps up within an hour of the show. Never mind that the recaps would actually be better because I wouldn’t have only an hour to digest the show, but now I’m just a small fish in a big pond. Add in the fact that I was dealing with some serious negativity and abuse over the recaps (specifically at ew.com), and even dealing with plagiarism, as it was discovered that someone was actually stealing my recaps…almost word-for-word. I’m not going to lie, that was a HUGE factor in this process becoming sour for me.
 

And keep in mind, that all this time, all the seasons I recapped for Survivor and The Amazing Race (and Big Brother for a while), I never made a penny. Not one single cent. I did it because I wanted to. Hey, if someone out there wants to actually pay me to write my recaps for their site, I’m sure I could work it in, but that would obviously be a different situation. I wouldn’t be getting them online until the next day…life is too important. And just writing is much easier than everything that was involved with producing my recaps.
 

I’m guessing by this time, you’ve probably figured out that I’m not going to be recapping Survivor and The Amazing Race anymore. I hope all of my regular readers (many of whom I can call friends now) will understand, and those of you who have connected with me on Facebook or Twitter will remain as friends.
 

Before I started recapping, I used to read Josh Wolk's recaps of The Amazing Race. If you never read any of his stuff, do yourself a favour and look it up. He is, quite frankly, the funniest man on the planet. When he decided to stop (due to similar family/work commitments), I was devastated, and that really lit a fire under me to start recapping myself. Maybe someone out there is reading this post right now and thinking the same thing. If so, I look forward to reading YOUR recaps.
 

I have to especially thank my girlfriend Devena, my partner in every sense of the word, who for the last 3 years has been 100% supportive of my commitment to these recaps. Life is better with you by my side.
 

Thanks to everyone who read and commented over the years. Your enjoyment and support was my motivation for doing it for so long.
 

Sean

Important News About My Survivor And Amazing Race Recaps

Many of you know that I wear a lot of different hats. I work a full-time job, I work for a local University as their Athletics announcer, and I also work for our local affiliate of Rogers TV on-air for their broadcasts of Kitchener Rangers hockey games. Add in to that the responsibilities of being a dad to a 10-year-old son, and trying to be a good partner to my loving and supportive girlfriend, Devena...and there's not a lot of free time.

I do these recaps because they're fun for me, and because people enjoy reading them. From a tiny little side project, to something that garners between 10,000-15,000 hits/month, this site sure has grown and evolved to places I didn't really envision. I'm very, very thankful and grateful for that.

But I need a break.

Things are way to busy for me right now to be putting in the required effort for my recaps. Work is busy, home life is busy, and the Rangers playoffs are starting in 2 days, which will mean I have a show almost every other night for a seven-game playoff series. Plus, I was just on vacation and missed three recap nights (for Survivor and TAR), and after tonight, I was going to miss the next two episodes as well.

So, I'm sorry to say that I will be taking a temporary break from doing my recaps for Survivor and The Amazing Race. I watched last week's episode last night, and I really enjoyed just being able to sit and watch it...so that's what I'm going to do for the next little while.

I'm not sure how long...I may be back before the end of the season, but I will definitely be back at some point. Like I said, I just need a break.

Thank you to all of the loyal readers, I hope this doesn't change anything for you, and you'll still be back when I start recapping again. Please feel free to add me on Facebook or Twitter to keep in touch in the meantime.

See you soon.

Sean

Amazing Race Recap: March 18, 2012

Tonight's episode of the Amazing Race finds the remaining teams headed to Bavaria for Gingerbread houses, yodeling, and some beard shaping. Will Vanessa and Rachel continue to butt heads? Will Bopper and Mark be able to climb out of last place? And will Brenchel continue to annoy the holy hell out of me?

Unfortunately, I will not be able to recap tonight's episode as I am out of the country on vacation. I will add some thoughts on this week's episode at the beginning of next week's recap, which will be up as usual following the episode.

Please feel free to still comment on the episode in the Comments section.

(Photo Credit: Reality Fan Forum)

Amazing Race Recap: March 11, 2012 - No Recap Tonight

Tonight's episode of The Amazing Race finds the remaining teams traveling to Italy, and is ssuggestively titled "Taste Your Salami?" Will the tension between Vanessa and Rachel be on the rise? Can Team Army reclaim their lead at the top? Based on the picture above, I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this episode.

This is usually where I tell you that my Recap will be up around 10:00 pm ET...but there won't be a recap this week. I have other obligations tonight, and I'm leaving on vacation in 48 hours, so things are pretty busy. Sorry to those of you who were expecting my usual Recap.

Please feel free to still discuss the episode in the Comments section below.

Amazing Race Recap: “Stacking Watermelons In Paraguay Was On My Bucket List.”

Sorry for the delay in getting this week’s recap up a day later than normal. I was away on Sunday and wasn’t able to watch the episode until tonight. This week’s episode certainly was a nail-biter (no joke…I was actually biting my nails), and with the preview showing teams having a task involving watermelons, I was obviously hoping we would revisit one of the greatest moments in Amazing Race History.

(NOTE: Sorry, no Pictures/Captions this week since it's going up late)

My Random Thoughts:

- Before I get to tonight’s episode, I have to revisit last week’s Pit Stop, which featured Phil and a Diego Maradona impersonator. I have to mention that on a number of message boards, there were people who were trying to say that it was the real Diego Maradona, which is ridiculous. It was a Fake Maradona…guaranteed. Trust me.

- On to tonight’s episode, which started with Team Army (Good Rachel and Dave) and Team Border Patrol (Art and JJ) departing only minutes apart, just after midnight, and finding out that the teams would now be traveling to Paraguay…which I hope you figured out from the title of this recap, if you hadn’t already seen the episode.

Team Army wants us to know that they’re aggressive, competitive, and a target, while Team Border Patrol would like to point out that they are on their way to another Spanish speaking country, which is an advantage for them, and since both of these teams “protect America”, they will dominate.

- When they arrived at the airport, both teams learned that there were two options for flights: an 8:45 am flight or a 10:40 am flight. The earlier flight was full, but they would be able to put their names on the standby list at the check-in counters.

Flash forward to early morning, where we then saw all nine teams at the airport. I have to say, as I have mentioned in the past, I love when the producers do this…no fake drama and unnecessary footage of each team at the Pit Stop Mat opening their first clue to start the leg. It was essentially “OK, everyone is here. Everyone wants the early flight. Now you’re caught up.”

- Not everyone knew about the earlier flight, but for some reason Team Fake Teachers decided to tell as many people as possible about the earlier flight. Once all of the teams (or most of them) had put their name on the standby list, the teams that arrived later started trying to sweet talk the ticket agents into circumventing the priority list, and give them the tickets.

Thankfully, that didn’t work, and karma reigned, as the 8 tickets that ended up being available on the early flight went to the first four teams that arrived: Team Army, Team Border Patrol, Team Fake Teachers, and Team Kentucky.

This pleased Art and JJ to no end, as they started waxing poetic about how strong they were as a team, and how the other teams were just letting them “run the Race for them”, and following what they do. They then compared themselves to Michael Jordan, because he won 6 championships, and Art ended the rant with a Randy “Macho Man” Savage-esque growl of “OHHH YEAHHH!”

Frankly, the Michael Jordan comparison was ridiculous, because if you’re going to compare yourself to MJ because he’s won six championships, when all you’ve done so far is come 3rd and 2nd in two races…well, you have a pretty weak argument.

The rest of the teams were stuck on the 10:40 flight, and Rachel had one of her meltdowns prior to even getting on the plane. “I’m not calm, Brendon”, she whined, “This is a Race, and I’m not about to lose it to some doo-heads.” At least I think that’s what she said…

- Upon arriving in Asuncion, Paraguay, teams had to take a taxi to a junkyard, enter the junkyard via a kiddie slide, and then search through a bunch of BBQs until they found their next clue. I know that TAR usually designs these challenges based on cultural traditions and customs in each country, but what did this one mean? That Paraguayans love children’s park slides, trashy looking yards, and BBQ?

And bring on the cultural traditions they did, as teams were now faced with a Detour after finding their next clue. Teams had to choose between Stacked Up, which would require building a pyramid 0f watermelons, and Strung Out, which would require teams to string a harp.

Phil told us that Stacked Up would take place in “Paraguay’s favourite fruit market” during the “busy watermelon season”, but let’s be honest…as soon as we heard watermelons, we were all hoping this would happen again. We also learned that the harp is the National Instrument of Paraguay. Now you know!

Personally, I would have chosen Strung Out, solely because of the math of it. With the harp, you only had to untangle and then string a total of 36 strings. With Stacked Up, you had to construct a 10 x 10 pyramid that would have to be built outside in the heat, after you carried all of the watermelons, and with a high probability of problems, since you’re stacking a total of 385 ROUND objects (do the math…it’s 385.)

- Most of the teams chose Stacked Up, and while Team Border Patrol breezed through it, many of the other teams had problems, leading to the time-honoured tradition of allowing the locals to laugh uproariously at the contestants. The problems included arguments, collapses, and even Bopper getting hit in the head with a watermelon, which prompted him to utter the title of tonight’s episode: “Bust Me Right In The Head With It.”

And for the record, I don’t consider that getting busted in the head with it…this is.

Vanessa tried to get in Bad Rachel’s kitchen, first suggesting that Team Divorce block in Team Reality Whores with their watermelon cart, but Ralph was more focused on getting the task done, than the ridiculously simple task of annoying Bad Rachel. Then there was talk of being able to see Bad Rachel’s ass while she was unloading watermelons, and it all resulted in Brenchel leaving and switching Detour tasks.

The reasoning Brendon gave us was: “Real quickly, Rachel and I realized that this task was going to be very very difficult.” Let me translate that for you: “Because Vanessa was being mean to my TV girlfriend, we decided to run away. You see, we like to talk about people behind their back instead of to their face on this Race. We’re cowards.”

Obviously, the major factor in the switch for Team Reality Whores was the fact that Vanessa was “talking smack”, as Rachel put it. Oh the irony…the Queen of Smack Talk from two seasons of Big Brother can’t take it when another strong-willed woman calls her out?

And of course, once Brenchel were in the cab, the venom started spewing, as Brendon said that “Vanessa is one of those girls who tries to be all sweet and pretty and nice”, which is CLEARLY a foreign concept to him, considering who his fiancé is. And then Rachel cattily said about Vanessa, “her disgusting smile is painted on just like her overdone makeup.”

- Strung Out was anticlimactic, and all of the teams that struggled with the watermelons ended up here. It was just a matter of hunkering down and getting it done, and most teams finished it in a decent amount of time, except for Team Twins. The only major element that came out of this was when Team Army arrived after switching, and saw all the other teams there…they decided to use their Express Pass.

- After finishing the Detour first, Team Border Patrol were instructed to head to Plaza De La Democracia where they found a Road Block that asked “Who’s ready to use their head?” Hey, I remember someone in a previous season who had to use their head! (That's right, FOUR times in one recap! BOOYAH!)

The Road Block required teams to learn a traditional Paraguayan Bottle Dance, which would mean they had to do specific dance moves while balancing a bottle on their head. If the bottle fell and broke, teams would be able to try again, but if they used all of the bottles they were provided (50 total) without accomplishing it, they would incur a two-hour penalty.

A couple of thoughts about this Road Block: First, I thought it was going to be so hard for teams, that it may have been a good strategy to just smash all of your bottles and get your 2 hour penalty started as soon as possible (remember Rob Mariano voluntarily taking the 4-hour penalty in TAR 7?), but most teams were able to do it.

Second, did you notice how easily the bottles were breaking? Either they were made of clear peanut brittle, or they were stunt glass bottles. That would explain the fact that, even though the Paraguayan women were sweeping up the pieces, nobody was cutting themselves by having bottles break in their hands, getting down on their stomach on the ground, and having the bottom of the bottle simply fall off while it was on their head.

- Team Border Patrol was confident, as JJ told us “Art’s got a big fat head, so this is gonna be good for him.” And sure enough, they finished the Road Block before another team had even arrived, and continued on to the Pit Stop at Escalinata De Antiquera, where Phil told them that they had won a trip to the Bahamas, although I’m not sure if Art actually heard what the prize was, since he was too busy breathing heavily and telling the model beside Phil “Wow, you’re really pretty.”

- Team Army was the second team to arrive at the Road Block after using their express pass, and Dave didn’t have a hope in hell of completing it, as he quickly smashed all 50 bottles while Good Rachel looked on helplessly. After winning the first two legs, they would now be faced with a two-hour penalty.

Here’s what I don’t get, though…why were they even given the clue and allowed to serve the penalty at the Pit Stop? In the past, teams had to wait out the penalty AT the site of the Detour/Road Block/Challenge, and then receive their next clue once the penalty time had elapsed. I didn’t understand why it was different this time.

- After everything was said and done at the Road Block, the order of finish at the Pit Stop was as follows: Team Reality Whores in 2nd (accompanied by more fake mat drama from Bad Rachel, whining and coughing), Team Guidos in 3rd, Team Kentucky in 4th, Team Fake Teachers in 5th, and Post-Penalty Team Army in 6th…only mere seconds out of 4th place.

Talk about a bad leg for Dave and Good Rachel. After winning the first two legs, they failed miserably on the Watermelon Detour, used the Express Pass late, and then failed even MORE miserably at the Road Block, resulting in a two hour penalty, dropping them from first to sixth. On top of that, they had to endure a speech from Phil at the mat, telling them that they were the first team to not complete a task and stay in the Race. (Translation: Everyone else did it, losers.)

- Team Badonkadonk finished in 7th, leaving only two teams…both of whom were still back at the Detour: Team Twins with the harps, and Team Divorce at the watermelons. Both teams considering switching, but stayed with their initial choice, working into the night to finally finish and move on to the Road Block.

And at the Road Block in the dark, once they saw the other team there, they were both revitalized. I wondered if this overall setup for the Road Block was fair, since when Vanessa and Ralph arrived, they (and presumably other teams before them) could clearly see what the Road Block was, therefore making the decision on who would do it easier, as Vanessa told Ralph “your head’s harder than mine.”

- She was right, and Hard-Headed Ralph finished first, launching Team Divorce into the 8th and final spot at the Pit Stop, with Elliot and Andrew close behind, finding out they were eliminated from the Race.

Not a good season for siblings.

Next Week: The Teams Travel To Italy, And Rachel Hates Brendon.

Amazing Race fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

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And if you’re a Survivor fan, be sure to check back on Wednesday nights for weekly recaps on Survivor One World.

Thanks for reading.

Amazing Race Recap: March 4, 2012

This week, the Amazing Race travels to Paraguay for the first time in 20 seasons, as the teams are faced with another challenge involving watermelons. Could we be so lucky as to see another watermelon catapult to the Face? (Answer: highly unlikely.)

Unfortunately, I will not be able to watch this week's episode until Monday, so unfortunately, my recap will not be up until Monday night. In the meantime, since this episode is called "Bust Me Right In The Head With It", I'm going to leave the picture above Caption-Free, and challenge you to come up with the best caption in the Comments section.

Please check back on Monday for my full recap.

Amazing Race Recap: “You Know I’m Not As Smart As You”

The remaining ten teams continued their adventure through Argentina this week, traveling to Buenos Aires on the next leg of The Amazing Race. Which team is working with a donkey? Who’s really good at Lego? And why are there never any tears when Rachel “cries” ?

My Random Thoughts:

- From the Pit Stop in Salta (Fun Fact: home of the world’s highest vineyards), teams had to drive to the Cafayate town square, and wait for the Chasqui to deliver next clue. I was worried, because “waiting for the Chasqui” sounds like something that involves a doctor and a foreign hospital, but thankfully it was just the mountain postman.

This was the equalizer for this leg of the race, as the Chasqui wouldn’t arrive until after the sunrise at 6:35 am, so any lead was lost. And with almost 3 hours separating all the teams, that could have been a pretty significant lead.

Here’s something interesting that I noticed, though. The interval between the 9th place team and the Guidos in last place, was only 6 minutes…which means that Misa and Maiya, who missed the Pit Stop last week, had to have been within that six-minute window. Three teams within six minutes on the very first leg? Talk about a tight finish.

- As the teams were all gathered in the town square waiting for the Chasqui, we learned a bit more about the teams: Team Army doesn’t want to use the Express Pass if possible, Team Feds lied about their jobs and everyone thinks they’re kindergarten teachers, Vanessa likes to talk to dogs, and Mark and Bopper’s attitude is “we ain't in no hurry to get to first.”

Bad Rachel said that “this game is super different than Big Brother”, which made me laugh because OF COURSE it’s different, you moron! You can’t just sit around in a hammock all day calling people names like you did on Big Brother. Plus, this show isn’t rigged for you to win like last season’s BB13 was. At least I hope it’s not…I stopped recapping Big Brother because of that, and I don’t want to stop recapping The Amazing Race.

I did, however, laugh at Art and JJ’s comment about Brendon, saying that he’s nothing but a sheep that follows what everyone else does: “He’s a UCLA student. What do you expect?” At that point, I really wanted someone to show him a video clip of what Brendon said last week about being half-Mexican and hating Border Agents.

We then learned that Mr. Clown had two separate bouts with Hodgkins, and has beaten it…and been cancer-free since 2001. That is great to hear, as was Mrs. Clown’s comment “if we can beat cancer twice, I’m pretty sure we can win the race.” Although, it’s a TAR tradition that once you learn the heartwarming human backstory on a team, it’s generally the night you say goodbye to them. Remember last season when Kaylani was talking about her daughter, and being a single mom? I wasn’t optimistic for Team Circus.

- When the Chasqui arrived, the teams swarmed him like pre-teen girls at a Justin Bieber mall-sighting, and all found out that they now had to face a Detour. The choice was between Boil My Water, which would see them building a solar kitchen, and Light My Fire, which involved gathering wood and clay, and walking a mile with a donkey to deliver it.

- Most of the teams went for Boil My Water, and they soon discovered that the only instructions they had to build this solar kitchen, were in picture form on the side of the box. So, under the watchful eyes of llamas, birds, cats, and a dog with a Mohawk, they set out to try and build their respective solar kitchens, which would eventually have to be functional enough to boil a kettle of water.

The clowns didn’t even notice the picture, Bad Rachel started her self-pity party complaining that she wasn’t good at it because “I’m just a girl”, one of the Guidos cut himself, and Team Badonkadonk offered a helping hand.

Did you notice the awkward swearing on this Detour? Within about ten seconds, we heard three different teams express their frustration as follows: “Oh Sh….shnikeys”, “Son of a monkey’s uncle”, and “This is hotter than…shenanigans.” It was like watching The Sopranos on A&E with all of the swearing edited.

Mark and Bopper breezed through the Detour, mostly due to Mark’s affinity for doing Lego with his son. And if you’ve ever done Lego kits with your kids, you’ll know what he means, because that was a perfect analogy. One booklet, all pictures…no words.

- Art and JJ were the only team to choose Light My Fire, and after getting lost on the way, and running into the teams at the other Detour, I was thinking that they were screwed. If you’re removing yourself from the rest of the pack, starting later than everyone else, and working on a task in which you have to walk a mile…it’s not a good idea.

They kept insisting that they could make up time, because as Art said to JJ: “I told you boiling water’s a pain in the ass in a solar oven.” The funny thing is that he said it in a way that came across like he was trying to say “I’ve told you this a MILLION times.”

The funnier thing is that the way he phrased it made it sound like “pain in the ass in a solar oven” is a figure of speech. If he said “Boiling water in a solar oven is a pain in the ass”…that’s one thing, but “boiling water’s a pain in the ass in a solar oven” is something else entirely.

- With Mark’s Lego prowess, Team Kentucky finished first, and Team Border Patrol made up the time like they promised and finished second. All the teams now had to go to the Salta Bus Terminal and take an 18-hour bus ride to Buenos Aires.

There were three buses that left with the teams, but there was no indication how much time was between each of the departures. The first bus carried Team Kentucky, Team Army, Team Border Patrol, and Team Reality Whores. The second bus had Team Guidos, Team Circus, Team Twins, and Team Divorce. The final bus had Team Badonkadonk (the cousins), and Team Fake Teachers.

But after a window exploded on the bus, with glass shattering inside, the second bus was delayed for over two hours, and the third bus passed them while they were stranded. They tried to fix it with duct tape and cardboard, but after seeing the footage of the curtains flapping later in the trip, it looks like they just carried on as it was after they cleaned the glass up.

- In Buenos Aires, teams were face with a Road Block that asked Where’s The Beef? Once they decided who would be participating, they had to enter the Cattle Auction Market, and based on the information given to them, they had to calculate the average weight of the cows in the pen. Then, they had to “run to the waiting Gaucho and give him your answer.”

To anyone with half a brain, this was simple arithmetic, but the producers decided that to fully and comprehensively illustrate the task, they needed to give us a graphic. The graphic showed “Total Weight” divided by “# of cows” would equal “Average.” But the best part was that the “# of cows” was illustrated by a pyramid of cows, as if they were cheerleaders stacked on top of each other.

- Bad Rachel started complaining about 4 seconds after volunteering to do it. After learning that she couldn’t use a calculator, she cried out “Oh No!” and started her pre-emptive complaining. “I don’t know anything about cows”, she whined to Brendon. Well, the challenge is about MATH…not cows. Didn’t this woman once claim to be a scientist? And now she’s saying that she can’t grasp long division?

And just in case you weren’t sold on the fact that Bad Rachel is a moron, after her whining about cow poo and math, she then dropped this bomb: “I don’t know anything about cows except that they taste good in steak.” It’s not an ingredient in the steak, you idiot…it IS the steak.

JJ and Good Rachel worked together to get the correct answer, and their clue told them to take a taxi to the next Pit Stop, which was at El Gomero, a 200-year-old rubber tree in Buenos Aires.

- Bad Rachel continued to be stressed out, complaining that “Brendon hates my guts right now.” Mark, for some reason, jumped IN with the cattle, and then was calling out to the “Groucho” to give his answer, which was wrong because he wasn’t rounding up.

Then, for some reason, Mark decided to work with Bad Rachel, even though she brought nothing to this temporary partnership, and all he was essentially doing was giving her the answer once he figured it out. None of that team-up made any sense for Team Kentucky.

- After the Road Block, Bad Rachel, of course, had one of her classic meltdowns, throwing out as much drama as possible for Brendon to deal with. Those of you who watched her on Big Brother will recognize this as one of her wonderful traits, and you will also recall her maddening habit of “crying” without actually crying.

Well, we saw that again tonight after the road Block, when she melted down and dropped the drama once again, crying that she wasn’t as smart as Brendon, and that she can’t handle things under pressure. But if you watch that scene, you’ll notice that it’s just the same whiny fake crying, as if she were a toddler testing her parents to see how much she can get away with.

And just like on Big Brother, Brendon has to now put all of his energy into trying to calm her down and apologizing to her for the next hour. Her response to his supportive measures was to tell him “you have a booger on your nose.” Talk about dysfunctional.

- At the Pit Stop, Phil was standing with a Diego Maradona impersonator…and for the record, it was a Fat Maradona impersonator, not a Hand of God Maradona impersonator. (Kind of like Old Elvis and Fat Vegas Elvis, you know?) Team Army was first to the mat, and won a trip to Grenada for winning the leg. Team Border Patrol was close behind, making the United States military and Border Service Agency equally proud.

- Back at the Road Block, the final three teams were The Guidos, The Twins, and The Clowns. My initial suspicion about the Clowns was confirmed when one of the Guidos said to one of the Brothers, “Yo, we can beat the clown. He said he’s terrible in math.” And sure enough, they teamed up to get the answer first and head off to the Pit Stop.

- Yes, The Clowns finished last, and with one final red-nosed step on the mat, Phil told them that they were eliminated from the Race. I thought their story was nice, but I was honestly turned off by the walk-off scene, with the circus music, sped up like a silent film, and with that campy fake trip. Why make them a heartwarming cancer-survivor story if you’re going to clown it up at the end?

Next Week: Harp Stringing, More Watermelons, And Rachel Brings The Bitchy.

Amazing Race fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including many from some of the Racers themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

And if you’re a Survivor fan, be sure to check back on Wednesday nights for weekly recaps on Survivor One World.

Thanks for reading.

(Photo Credits: CBS, Reality Fan Forum)

Amazing Race Recap, February 26, 2012

The remaining ten teams continued their adventure through Argentina this week, traveling to Buenos Aires on the next leg of The Amazing Race. Which team is having trouble with a donkey? Who’s really good at Lego? And why are there never any tears when Rachel “cries” ?

Make sure to check back for my full recap, which should be up by 9:00 pm ET. (Canadian TAR fans please note that it is on at 7:00 pm ET because of the Academy Awards.

Amazing Race Recap: “My Uterus Is In My Throat!”

The Amazing Race returned on Sunday as 11 new teams set off from California on a race around the world. From hot air balloons to skydiving to empanadas, this Season Premiere saw the teams travelling to Argentina on the first leg of the Race, and one team eliminated before the end of the episode.

Welcome back to all of the returning readers, and for those of you new to my blog and my Amazing Race Recaps, a hearty welcome as well, and a couple of things you should know: a) the recaps should be up within 60 minutes (often less) of when the show ends on the East Coast, b) the pictures will all have hidden captions underneath, so make sure to mouse over them if you want to see them, and c) I love Comments, so let’s all get involved in the Comments section for this season.

As I normally do with the Season Premiere, tonight’s recap is going to be my first impressions of this season’s teams, along with my Random Thoughts at the end.

The Teams:

Nary and Jamie, the Federal Agents –We didn’t learn a lot about these two, but based on the pre-Race footage we were shown, apparently they really like to shoot guns. I mean, REALLY, like to shoot guns. I understand if you’re trying to show that they use firearms as part of their job as Federal Agents, but what was with the repeated shots of them using automatic weapons…and then a happy posing shot while holding 2 handguns?

Misa and Maiya, the Sisters – Pretty girls who like playing football on the beach, surfing, and golfing in bright colours.

Joey and Danny, the Guidos – Obviously being presented as two Jersey Shore wannabes who like to spend their time either in the club, or walking along the river together. One of them can’t drive standard, which is shocking to me that anyone can still go on this show without learning how to drive standard in advance (much like learning to build fire on Survivor), and even MORE shocking that he told us his mom told him to learn it before the show!

The fact that Joey the trainer is going by Joey “Fitness” is going to drive me crazy, but I thought I would do you a service and let you know that Danny’s nickname (while not being used on the show) is even worse: Danny “Guestlist”…and I’m not even kidding.

Dave and Cherie, the Married Clowns – Two “ambassadors of laughter” who think that their time with Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey will give them good karma. It seemed to me that, for an "ambassador of laughter”, Cherie was rather prone to panic, crying in car during the first leg, as they left the first airport, only because she couldn’t see the other teams.

Bopper and Mark, the Kentucky Boys – Claim to be from the “other side of the tracks”, which looked like a shack? Two likable guys who apparently want to say “baby” a lot. I was confused by the Kentucky T-Shirts at the beginning. While they were the same colours, it didn’t look they they were shirts for the basketball team, so were they just promoting the State? Wouldn’t that be fun…a season where everyone had to wear a shirt stating where they were from?

Elliott and Andrew, the Twin Brothers – First of all, thank you for having different hair, because I can never tell twins apart on this show. Elliot is in a rock band and Andrew is a Soccer player, thus I will be referring to them as the Rocker-Soccer Connection for the season.

Kerri and Stacy, the Southern Cousins – Two Southern gals who apparently deserve the requisite hillbilly music as we watch them playing around on a tractor. According to Mark and Bopper, they “have the badonka-donk.” I seriously have no idea what that means.

Vanessa and Ralph, the Dating Divorcees – After last season’s Jeremy and Sandy (who I loved as a team), is “dating divorcees” a new TAR genre? We get it Ralph, you’re very strong…strong enough to do pushups with Vanessa on your back, but does every gesture you make have to result in you displaying your arms? God forbid there is a clue on this season that involves anyone having to legitimately ask “Which way to the beach?”

Brendon and Rachel, the Reality Whores –I know that they are referring to them as “Phd Student and Event Hostess”, but let’s call a spade a spade here. When I heard that they were going to be on this season, I cringed, and was shaking my head at the first footage of them on screen tonight. I’m sure Brendon will continue to wear as much UCLA apparel as possible, and it seems like Rachel is only going to dress in sequins, or something suitable to wear to a St. Patrick’s Day parade…or both.

Art and JJ, the Border Patrol Agents –Didn’t learn much about them, but it looked like they like to drive their ATVs on the beach as they patrol the coastline.

Dave and Rachel, the Army Couple –I don’t feel like I learned anything about them, except that they’ve been married for 2 years, and have a really tiny dog. To avoid confusion this season, I will be referring to this Rachel as “Good Rachel.”

My Random Thoughts:

- Just before the Race started, Phil gave the standard instructions before telling the teams that they would need to find their first clue hidden among the baskets of 100 mini hot-air balloons in the vineyard behind them. After that, they would have to jump in their Ford Taurus (Ford is back as a sponsor, doncha know?), and head off to Santa Barbara. He also told them that the winner of the first leg would win the coveted Express Pass, which would only be good until 8th leg.

Two thoughts on this opening segment: First, that I really liked the pre-Race bike ride to the starting point. Make those bitches work for it, Phil! Second, the Race always starts with Phil’s instructions, and teams blowing past him when he drops his arm and yells “GO!”, but this time, they all ran to the side and around the pond to get to the vineyard. It was a funny visual.

- After everyone found their clues, they learned that they would be heading to Santa Barbara, Argentina, with the first 6 teams to reach the airport getting the best flight, which resulted in a two-and-a-half hour lead over the other teams.

- Mark and Bopper gave us two great lines early in this episode: a) “Throw up and get it up, and let’s go win that money, baby!”, and “When you got loot on the line like this, baby, you pee your pants if you have to.” Somewhere, Jennifer Hoffman was shaking her head at her television.

I think I'm going to have to implement a weekly "baby" count for Mark and Bopper, and cross-reference it with a weekly "bro" count for Joey and Danny. It's only the first episode and it's already over the top for both teams.

- Upon landing, teams had to travel to Santa Barbara (in a Ford SUV of course), and find their next clue, which directed them to the Aerodromo Gilberto Lavaque, and their first Road Block. This Road Block saw one of the team members having to skydive while the other one had to use the SUV to find their landing spot.

But the real beauty of this Road Block was the fact that whoever volunteered to do it…was the one who had to find the other one, who was jumping out of the plane. So for those who assumed since they were at an airport that they would have to go up into the plane and perhaps jump out…the other one got screwed with the jump. Nice swerve.

- Could you imagine being the tandem instructor having to jump with Rachel…hearing her voice screaming all the way down? That would only have been slightly worse than being the cameraman filming her face flapping around as she fell. What the hell was that? Up the next botox treatment, Rach.

- I was confused by Mark. He pukes going up a hill, and pukes in the back seat of a car…but NOT when skydiving? And how awesome was Vanessa’s line as she was free falling? “My uterus is in my throat!”

- The clue switcheroo affected Stacy and Kerri most of all, as Kerri was saying that she was “about to throw up” and completely freaking out…while she was still in the hangar! In the plane, she asked: “If the parachute doesn’t open, what is going to happen to me?” Well, at the risk of sounding flippant, you’re probably going to die.

- After the Skydive, teams got their next clue, which instructed them to drive to Patios De Cafayate. On the way, Team Brenchel was hot on the heels of Art and JJ, which riled Brendon up, as he ranted about the Border Agents, “I’m half Mexican, and I hate them for a reason!”

What reason would that be, Brendon? What an ignorant statement. Rachel responded by telling him to stop, and I say this: How dumb is what you just said if even Rachel thinks it was stupid?

- At the Patios De Cafayate, teams found out that they had to participate in an Empanada contest which would see them make 120 total empanadas (60 meat and 60 cheese). They key was that there were different dough-crimping patterns for each kind, and teams had to work while being surrounded by emphatic dancing and clapping, and an incredible number of flies. They had an “ongoing demonstation” that they could refer to when they needed, which had me feeling sorry for the Argentinian women hired to make the sample empanadas all day while this challenge took place.

- I noticed two things upon seeing the clue for this challenge. First, that while Phil said “the last team to check in MAY be eliminated”, the clue clearly read that the last team “WILL be eliminated.” Interesting to note.

Second, I loved that the clue said “once the region’s reigning Empanada champion approves your work, search the grounds for Phil and the first Pit Stop.” The reason I love that is that the woman that was judging the empanadas wasn’t just an expert, nor was she simply an empanada “champion”…she was the “region’s reigning empanada champion.”

That says to me that not only are there regular competitions, which crown champions, but they are also regionalized? Does that mean there is a State final? Nationals? Is it an Olympic demonstration sport in 2012?

- Army couple Dave and Good Rachel finished first, and got to the Pit Stop mat, where Phil was wearing a stylish white “good guy” hat and hanging with a gaucho. He gave them the Express Pass and suggestively told them that it was “a great piece of power in your pocket.”

- Team Brenchel came in 2nd, Team Border Patrol 3rd, Team Feds 4th, Vanessa and Pipes 5th, The Rocker-Socker Connection 6th, Team Cousins 7th, The Clowns 8th, and the Kentucky Boys 9th, which left The Guidos and The Sisters to claim the 10th and final spot.

- Misa and Maiya finished first and ran into the courtyard where the Pit Stop mat was located, but inexplicably didn’t see it. They left and searched elsewhere, allowing The Guidos to pass them and reach the Pit Stop Mat first.

- An incredible finish, and a spectacularly heartbreaking ending for Misa and Maiya.

Overall, it looks like a fun season, except that the previews showed the inevitable drama that will be caused by Rachel and her fake tears.

Next Week: The Drama Begins.

Amazing Race fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including many from some of the Racers themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

And if you’re a Survivor fan, be sure to check back on Wednesday nights for weekly recaps on Survivor One World.

Thanks for reading.

(Photo Credits: Reality Fan Forum, CBS)

Amazing Race Recap, February 19, 2012

Tonight is the Season Premiere of the 20th season of The Amazing Race, featuring 11 new teams, including resistant Reality TV mainstays Brendon and Rachel from Big Brother. I'm looking forward to a new season (despite the presence of Brenchel), and I will be recapping every episode once again. My recap of tonight's episode should be up by 10:00 pm ET, so please make sure to check back.

Survivor One World "Preview"

Survivor One World premieres on Wednesday night, and I'm pleased to announce that I will be doing another full season of recaps. As with the last couple of seasons, I have decided that I would rather go in blind on Wednesday night instead of reading up on the cast bios and videos that have been floating around for the last month. Having said that, I will give a few "Random Thoughts" on this upcoming season.

My Random Thoughts

- I'm thrilled that there are no returning players this season, and that Redemption Island will not be a part of it either. Let's hope that the elimination of the horrible Redemtion Island Twist is permanent. It's nice to see 18 returning players...17 full-sized participants, and one "little person" (Thankfully, It's not Russell Hantz.)

- After 24 seasons, it's difficult to implement a new change in the game that keeps it fresh without ruining it, but I think having the castaways all live together on one beach will do just that. Plus the men vs. women dynamic will be sure to lead to some drama, even if there will be an inevitable Tribe switch-up within the first 4 or 5 episodes.

- I'm also happy to hear that there will be some changes in terms of how the Hidden Immunity Idol is used, and that there will be more "do-it-yourself" challenges minus our favourite blue-shirt wearing host. If you haven't heard how the Idols will be used, apparently there will be two of them hidden at camp, and if you find one, you can't use it on yourself, but instead have to give it to someone on the other team.

This, along with the "one camp" element, will force opposing tribes to make alliances across Tribe Lines, which should make for some good TV.

My recap of the premiere will be a snapshot of my initial impressions of each Survivor, along with a couple of Random Thoughts on the overall episode. After that, you can expect a regular Random Thoughts recap after each episode, usually up within 30-60 minutes of when the episode airs on the East Coast. I hope to get a lot of Comments in the Comments section after each episode, so let's keep the conversation going strong!

Check back here on Wednesday night by 10:00 pm ET for my recap of the season premiere, and if you're an Amazing Race fan, keep in mind that I will be recapping the upcoming season (premiering February 19th) as well.

And as always, don't forget about the hidden captions under the pictures for each recap.

Feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up.

Also, a quick note to those of you that were hoping that I would be recapping new shows this year (based on my tease that I may be doing that), I have decided that I will not be recapping anything other than Survivor and The Amazing Race for now. I decided not to recap The Bachelor since I didn't actually want to watch it, and while I am really enjoying watching Alcatraz and The River (both very Lost-esque), I think I'm going to just relax and enjoy the shows instead of recapping them.

See you all on Wednesday for Survivor.

Amazing Race Recap: "Racing To The Finish Line In Atlanta"

I’m still annoyed about last week’s Cab Collusion, as were many of you (43 comments for last week’s recap!), but it’s time to move on and focus on the Season Finale of The Amazing Race. Will Jeremy and Sandy be able to pull out a win? Can Amani and Marcus be victorious in their own personal Super Bowl? Or will anyone (including me) who used the hashtag #AnyoneButCindy on Twitter today be eating crow?

My Random Thoughts:

- From Panama, the three teams (who were only separated by a total of two minutes) discovered that they would have to travel to Atlanta, their final destination, and make their way to Flight Safety International, where they would find their next clue.

- Jeremy and Sandy said that they have to be perfect this last leg, and have a good shot to win it. Ernie and Cindy said that the race is the ultimate “pre-marital counseling,” and that it has been a strong bonding experience, and Marcus and Amani, upon learning that the final destination was their home town of Atlanta, fist-pumped and said that they had “home field advantage.” (Not so fast…remember Tara and Wil in Season 2 in San Francisco?)

- In Atlanta, Cindy tried to jump the cab line, promising to pay the driver “lots of money”, and Sandy made the wise move of telling their cab driver specifically NOT to tell the other cab drivers where they were going. Don’t even get me started…

- When they arrived at Flight Safety International, they found out that they would have to enter a Learjet Flight Simulator, and successfully land the aircraft from 25,000 feet. In short, it was the best video game ever, and somewhere, Ron and Bill cursed that they didn’t make the Final Leg of the Race.

- Captain Jeremy and Co-Pilot Sandy did it on the first try, but both of the other teams had trouble. Cindy told Ernie “let’s get it right the first time”, but then was too concerned barking orders at Ernie to remember her job as co-pilot to maintain an air speed of 135 mph. Instead, she dropped their plane out of the sky and they had to start over. Lesson: Yelling instructions at your teammate might kill you.

Amani and Marcus had a really tough time with it. On the first try, they landed but crashed; on the 2nd try, they tried to taxi while still in the air, and on the third through sixth tries, they kept skidding off the runway after landing. Marcus tried to use the analogy that he was open in the End Zone and dropped the pass, but if I may give a more apt analogy, he was wide open in the End Zone…in the Super Bowl…with nobody near him…and the Quarterback threw 6 passes right at him…and he dropped them all…in his home stadium. That seems about right.

At this point, it was a two-team race. And Marcus should never own a Wii.

- After the flight simulator, teams were instructed to “find the former residence known as ‘The Dump”, which was Margaret Mitchell’s home, where she wrote Gone With The Wind. Neither cab driver knows what “The Dump” is, so they take 2 entirely different strategies.

Ernie and Cindy borrowed their cab driver’s phone and called somewhere, and figured out the location. I’m wondering where they called…is there an ‘All About Atlanta’ hotline or something? Do you just call the operator? Maybe the library?

Jeremy and Sandy, meanwhile, took a completely different approach, instructing their cab driver to “take us to an intersection where we can ask somebody.” Really? This is the strategy you want to implement on the final leg where the million dollars is actually on the line? They find some random guy in a truck, who instructed them to go to “the old Home Depot store.”

- In their respective cabs, both teams talked about how stressful the race has been. Cindy continued her elitist ways, saying that it would be like “losing to the C student when we’re the A+ student”, while Sandy said that “I have to get on Priolsec when I get home.” You know what that means…next season, one of the prizes for winning a leg will a 6-month supply of Prilosec (for all the GERD caused by the Race!)

- Personally, I was shocked that when Jeremy and Sandy got to the furniture store, it was actually called ‘The Dump.' After running around the entire store, they finally asked themselves “are we idiots and in the wrong spot?” They then borrowed a smartphone and figured it out.

- At Margaret Mitchell’s house, the Road Block asked teams “Who gives a damn?”, and required one member to type out their next clue in the very room where Gone With The Wind was written. They would have to do it on an old-school Remington 3 typewriter which was missing the number ‘1’, and teams would have to figure out that they needed to replace it with a lower-case ‘l’. Is it just me, and the fact that I write a lot…or was that pretty easy to figure out? Seems like the actual typing without making a mistake was more difficult.

Cindy was mad that she didn’t choose to do it, because she types “ten times faster” than Ernie. But in essence, speed was a non-issue here. The passage they had to type was only 2 or 3 lines long. But she still kept telling us as many ways as possible that she should have done it. Ernie eventually figured it out after a few incorrect tries.

- Ernie and Cindy completed the Road Block first, and then had to decipher that the numbers on their clue: 44-715-74 were all related to Hank Aaron (uniform number, home run record total, and year he broke the record), which would lead them to Turner Field.

Ernie and Cindy wondered if the numbers were highway exits, and then went to a hotel, where Cindy asked "is there an internet we can use?” as if it were an actual material object she could borrow. The clerk behind the counter then logged them in to the hotel computer, and let them come behind the counter to use it (how many of you were wishing along with me that someone would try to check in at that point at that counter?) He was very helpful, and said that even though they shouldn’t be allowed back there, he would let them “just for this time.” That basically means “you have a TV crew and I’m going to be on TV. You can do whatever you want.”

After Sandy completed the typing Roadblock—commenting that the Remington sure wasn’t a Mac—they looked at the numbers and said “we need to Google it.” Yep, no more depending on random guys in trucks to help you.

- At Turner Field, the teams were greeted with a massive mental map challenge, that they would have to complete with no notes. On the giant map of the world, they would have to climb up via rope, and successfully map out the entire race, passing a red rope through carabiners that were situated on certain countries. (For the record, the correct order was: Taiwan, Indonesia, Thailand, Malawi, Denmark, Belgium, Panama, USA.)

- Cindy looked at the giant contraption and exclaimed “Holy bananas”, which is so much better than last week’s “Holy balls.” Then, she and Ernie got it on the first try, which didn’t surprise me at all, because I’m sure they studied world geography before the Race…or at least bought an Atlas. They were done before Jeremy and Sandy had even arrived.

I know some people will say that this was a relatively easy final task compared to some of the extensive memory challenges from past seasons, but I didn’t have a problem with it. The only suggestion I would have made would have been that if you made a mistake, you had to start again. When Jeremy and Sandy missed Indonesia, it was just a quick clip into the carabiner to correct it. I think you should have had to re-thread the whole thing. Not that it was an issue…

- After leaving Turner Field, they had to travel by Taxi to the Swan House and the Finish Line. Ernie and Cindy’s cab kept having to recalaculate the GPS, and even though it was edited to make us believe that Jeremy and Sandy were close, it was certain that Ernie and Cindy would win.

- And win they did, with one last “Oh My Gaaaaad!” as they opened the gate and saw the Finish Line, Cindy and Ernie took home the one million dollar prize, which they then exclaimed vaguely that they were going to use to “multiply the million and help those in need.”

Ernie said that his parents are probably “passed out in disbelief”, while Cindy said that her parents would have expected her to win. “My parents definitely have an expectation for me to be perfect,” she told us, before also adding that the Race is worth more than a million dollars. Easy to say now that you’ve won. The whole Race, she specified that it was about the prize, not the experience.

- Jeremy and Sandy finished 2nd, and talked about how they learned how to communicate better with each other, and how they will now have a stronger relationship because of the Race. Amani and Marcus finished 3rd, and Marcus promised to never become a pilot, while Amani essentially told her kids that she really loves them, but they should never slam doors in the house. One final NFL analogy from Marcus tells us that he thinks Amani is smarter than any Quarterback, and tougher than any Linebacker. (Awww)

- Look, I gave Ernie and Cindy a really hard time over the course of this Race…well, mostly Cindy…but I give them a lot of credit. They ran the best Race overall, and deserved to win. Just because I didn’t like them or want them to win, doesn’t change my opinion on that. I respect what they did and congratulate them on the win.

I still think that they should have been penalized for not having tickets on that train ride back in Brussels, but who knows if that even would have eliminated them on that leg? I still maintain that it was theft, and opens a tricky door for TAR to deal with in future seasons, but no one can say if that would have had an overall effect on the Race as a whole.

- Speaking of future seasons, one final note: Season 20 of the Amazing Race is currently filming right now. I generally don’t put spoilers on here, but I’ll put something in the Comments section regarding a location and a team, for those of you who are interested.

That's going to do it for another season of the Amazing Race, but I hope you'll bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left for when it returns next season. If you're a fan of Survivor, make sure to check for my Finale recap next Sunday, December 18th. I hope to see you back here, even when The Amazing Race is not on.

Remember that you can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of my recaps (and other Random Thoughts) as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Thanks for reading this season.

(Photo Credits: Reality Fan Forum, CBS)

Amazing Race Recap: December 11, 2011

I’m still annoyed about last week’s Cab Collusion, as were many of you (43 comments for last week’s recap!), but it’s time to move on and focus on the Season Finale of The Amazing Race. Will Jeremy and Sandy be able to pull out a win? Can Amani and Marcus win their own personal Super Bowl? Or will anyone (including me) who used the hashtag #AnyoneButCindy on Twitter today be eating crow?

My Season Finale recap should be up by 10:00 pm ET. Make sure to check back.

UPDATE - RECAP IS UP: CLICK HERE TO READ

Amazing Race Recap: “Cab Collusion In Panama”

There are only four teams left on the Amazing Race, and after tonight's episode in Panama, the Final Three will be set. Will Sandy be able to conquer her fear of heights? Will Cindy continue to hate my recaps? (True story) And what effect will the local taxi drivers have on the outcome?

My Random Thoughts:

- As I predicted in last week’s recap, this episode started with Andy and Tommy online at the Ford website customizing the Mustangs that they won on the last leg of the Race. I’ve expressed my frustration with the constant ad placement we see on shows like TAR, Survivor, and Big Brother, but I was reading last week that Jeff Probst addressed it, saying that since so many people use a Tivo or DVR, and zip past the commercials, advertisers are more apt to place the products in the episodes now. We’d better get used to it, it’s only going to get worse.

- The final task in Belgium had teams dressing up like the hapless detectives from the comic strip Tintin, and trying to find out who they were. The costumes were rather entertaining, and I thought it was hilarious that people who already had moustaches, had to wear a second one overtop.

Sandy asked Jeremy, “Do you like me as a man?” and Jeremy responded that he did…which then transitioned into the obvious comment from Ernie, smiling at Cindy and saying “Nice moustache.”

Also, for the record, I have to think that wandering around the streets of Belgium at 3 am in suits, hats, and fake moustaches with a camera crew and asking locals in front of a Pizza Hut, “Are you into comics” would usually result in some sort of arrest.

- After they got their next clue from a remarkably lifelike Tintin, the teams were all off to Panama, where they proceeded to yell “Rapido” and “Andale” to every person they encountered. Marcus was given some “bad luck rocks”, which he had earmarked for Andy and Tommy, but since he forgot to give them to Team Snowboard, he just chucked them out the window.

And Yes Marcus, we get it: this leg is the Conference Championship, and if you win, you’re going to the Super Bowl. Yawn.

- After a train ride, a plane ride, and a cab ride, teams now had to board a boat and speed up a river in the pitch black of night. “Homey’s drivin’ by the stars right now,” the always affable Tommy told us. When they reached their destination, they would have to sign up for morning tattoo appointments, which were staggered by 20 minutes.

Here’s what I don’t get. It’s ok to drive at this hour of the night, it’s ok to race up a river in the middle of the night, and it’s ok for a musical welcoming party to be there in the middle of the night, so why make teams wait until the morning to have their tattoos done? Is it just so that the daylight makes for better TV viewing? And why wasn’t there 20 minutes between the 3rd and 4th appointments? Why was it 7:00, 7:20, 7:40, and 7:40? Why wasn’t the last one for 8:00?

- Andy and Tommy were talking once again about how much they were loving the experience of the Race, and the thrill of experiencing another culture. And the other teams were talking about how the Snowboarders were so strong. Only 20 minutes in, and with all the talk of Andy and Tommy winning 6 legs, I was worried this would be the last of them.

- The tattoos that the teams received said San Francisco Bay, meaning they were to now head to the San Francisco Bay Towers, despite the fact that I was really hoping Cindy would misinterpret the clue and hop a flight back to the U.S. There, they were faced with a Roadblock where one member would have to walk a tightrope between the towers 35 stories high, get a clue, and walk back.

Well, I say “one member”, but based on who had already performed previous Roadblocks, the clue specified that “Andy, Sandy, Cindy, and Amani MUST perform the Roadblock.”

- That was less than ideal for Sandy , who is afraid of heights. But she powered through it and got it done despite her fears. I was really impressed with that, because in the past, we’ve seen Sandy get dramatically frustrated at tasks, holding her head in her hands and making statements like “we’re done”, “we’re screwed”, or “we’re out”, but here, she just sucked it up and did it. Well done, Sandy.

- Cindy’s response to the tightrope was “Holy Balls”, which would have been a lot funnier coming from Ernie, and as she was crossing the rope, she kept saying in her grating Chicago accent “Oh my gaaaaaaaad!” Even when she completed it and they were down on the ground again, she looked up and said “Oh my gaaaaaad, is that where I just was?”

- Amani got through the tightrope by picturing her kids at the end, knowing that they would see them soon, and Andy breezed through it, giving Tommy a “low-five” at the turn.

- The next clue would send the teams to a Panamanian Sno-Cone cart at the statue of Ferdinand De Lesseps. Since it was located beneath a rooster, every team tried to communicate this to their cab drivers by saying “cock-a-doodle-doo.” Yes folks, the language of farm animals is universal.

- The next challenge was a Detour, which gave teams the opportunity to work in two of Panama's oldest trades: Filet or Sole? In Filet, teams would visit the largest fish market in Panama, and deliver exact amounts of seafood to different vendors scattered throughout the market. In Sole, working with a single piece of leather for the sole and straps, teams would have to make one pair of sandals.

- Three of the teams chose Sole, and Amani and Marcus’ cab driver tried to make it all four by taking them to the wrong place. Apparently there was a Cab Driver Pow-Wow, and the taxis were working together, despite directions from the teams to the contrary.

The task was relatively easy for all three teams, but my favourite moment was when Ernie and Cindy were done, and the judge was coming over to check. Cindy asked him, “Bueno?”, as if he didn’t know why he was coming over, and he threw a hand up in her face before telling her it wasn’t good enough.

- Amani and Marcus were the only team that chose Filet, and soon learned that they had to transport all of the fish by hand. I can’t decide if that would have smelled better or worse than having to work with Panamian feet in the other part.

And weren’t we all expecting Marcus, at some point with a giant armful of fish, to tell us that this reminded him of playing the Miami Dolphins?

- Now, teams had to go to the public dance at Cathedral Square, and figure out that the Pit Stop (Panama Viejo) was on one of the dresses, and one of the bronze plates. Between Andy and Tommy gawking up close, Sandy on her knees pointing at a woman’s crotch, and Marcus wiping sweat off of one of the dancers (imagine how bad that smelled after just coming from the fish market), it appeared to be an overall violation of the dancers’ personal space.

Andy and Tommy deduced that the Pit Stop destination was Balboa, but they were wrong. Their cab driver took them to the Panama Canal for some reason, and then another cab took them to the Balboa statue on Balboa Avenue, which was wrong again. How bad is your cab driver, when you tell him you want to go to “Balboa” and even though there is a BALBOA STATUE ON BALBOA AVENUE, he still takes you to the Panama Canal?

- Ernie and Cindy and Amani and Macus both thought the answer was Balboa as well, so they left in their cabs, while Jeremy and Sandy sketched a picture of the building from the bronze necklace, and went to ask their cab driver if he recognized it. As they were leaving, Sandy reverted back to her over-dramatic ways, saying “if that’s not it, we’re done.” Lo and behold, their cab driver knew it was the Panama Viejo.

- Cindy told their cab driver not to communicate with the other driver, yelling at him “Don’t tell him! We have to win!” Interesting juxtaposition between Cindy and Sandy, who earlier in the episode, expressed that they don’t need to come first…they just don’t want to come fourth.

- So, to recap, Jeremy and Sandy are on the way to the Pit Stop, Team NFL is on the way to the wrong place, Team Cindy-Controls-Ernie is on their way to the wrong place, and Team Snowboard is presumably on their way back to Cathedral Square to figure out what they missed.

And here’s where the shit hit the fan for me, because the three cab drivers (not the snowboarders cab) started communicating with each other, and Jeremy and Sandy’s cab driver told the other two that they need to go to the Panama Viejo.

So, in essence, two teams that didn’t figure out where the Pit Stop was, then had their cab driver decide to take them to someplace other than where he was instructed to, and reaped the benefits of Jeremy and Sandy figuring it out. Cindy doesn’t want her cab driver sharing information, but she’s only too happy to take it. Shameful.

I can’t even begin to explain how angry I am about this. I know many people feel the same, so I look forward to the Comments section this week.

- I would have been even angrier if Jeremy and Sandy hadn’t won this leg, since they were the ones who solved the final clue. Good for them on their first win, where they received a trip to Turks and Caicos.

Was anyone else as outraged as I was at Cindy’s insincere “I’m so happy for you guys” at the Pit Stop mat? I wanted some Panamanian children to come out of the bushes and start randomly punching and kicking her in her already-bruised legs.

- Amani and Marcus finished in third, setting up the Season Finale, and all three teams did a “we beat the boys” celebration while Stringer Bell did an ass-slapping dance and launched into a self-congratulatory speech about David and Goliath.

BULLSHIT.

You just lucked into the answer from another cab driver. Period.

- Andy and Tommy were eliminated, which is unfortunate, because they were the best team by far this season. I’m not sure they would have been back in time to survive anyways, but cab collusion is a pretty brutal way to go out.

I loved their attitude, and I have to point out once again that Andy and Tommy always talked about the race as an experience, and were never upset at not winning prizes, even when they lost out on first place. The raced with class, and they went out with class.

Next Week: The teams head to Atlanta for the Season Finale.
(I'm rooting for Jeremy and Sandy)

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