Sunday, July 18, 2010

July 18, 2010: Dharma Inititative Alarm Clock

It's been a long, boring day down in the Swan, chilling in your khaki jumpsuit, listening to your favorite Mama Cass record and staring at a blinking cursor.

Where's your partner? Why can't you switch off number-punching duties? Oh, right. You killed him. And now you have to wake up every 108 minutes or the world starts shaking and metallic objects threaten to pin you against the wall.

Trust us, brother, this is no way to live. And luckily--or not, right, Hugo?--you don't have to. Our Dharma Initiative Alarm Clock is conveniently programmable to go off only once every 24 hours, and at a time convenient to you.

But if you don't get the numbers right before you see the hieroglyphs, there's no guaranteeing what will happen.

Product Features:

  • Two alarm settings: one-minute warning and electromagnetic cataclysm modes
  • (Okay, really, you can set it for your normal wake-up time.)
  • Requires 2 x AAA batteries
  • 23-year warranty, or until your house implodes
  • Walt, geodesic dome, and polar bear not included

1 comment:

Sean said...

Thanks to Mike W. for sending this in.