Big Brother Recap:“Unless Scientists Serve Mai Tais, I’m Pretty Sure She’s A Waitress…ZING.”

With Porsche and Kalia on the block, and Daniele wondering if her deal with Jeff and Jordan was still on the table, this week’s POV competition was crucial. Would the POV winner shake up the nominations? Does Daniele have a reason to be worried? And are the rumours true…is the Zingbot 3000 really back?!?

My Random Thoughts:

- Did anyone else find the first ten minutes of this episode as painful as I did? Kalia, Porsche, and Daniele talked about being nominated, Jeff and Adam smoked, and pretty much nothing else happened until Rachel started trying to antagonize Daniele about turning 25. “One time, when I turned 25…last year,” Rachel said, proving once again that she is a complete idiot. This is the sort of post-nomination drama we get?

Was it just me, or was it really that boring? I mean, I was watching the show from my basement since my area is under a Tornado Red Alert, so maybe that was it…but it sure felt like bad TV. (That's right, I'm posting this while torrential rains, wind, thunder and lightning crash around my house...that's my commitment to my readers!)

- Jordan’s Humilitard week came to an end in the backyard with a Southern Charm Strip-Off that saw her give pieces of the outfit to each of the houseguests. Much more entertaining than last season’s “shun” of the Penguin Suit by Enzo.

- Did we seriously watch two minutes of Jeff and Jordan in bed discussing how to pronounce “mischievous”? This is seriously the worst episode of the season so far.

- I can’t even put into words how much I love the Zingbot 3000. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I saw him in the audience earlier this season. Since there was really nothing else interesting in this episode, let’s recap the Zings:

o “Porsche, shouldn’t you be named after a car with a roomier trunk?”
o “Rachel, every other word out of your mouth is the F word…”fiancé.” (Should have been “floater”)
o “Daniele, do you own a car or do you still prefer to ride your daddy’s coattails?”
o “Adam, I don’t think your girlfriend realized she was dating Uncle Fester.”
o “Shelly, What do you call someone who likes to smoke, hunt, and fish? A dude.”
o “Kalia, you write a sex blog, but you seem to be an expert on the things done after sex…like sleeping.”
o “Jordan, the only reason Jeff hasn’t proposed yet is because he knows you’re horrible at answering questions.”

- In a boring jigsaw-puzzle challenge that was interspersed with the houseguests zinging each other in the Diary Room (“all of Kalia’s dates have chargers”…LOL!), Big Jeff won the POV.

- Kalia was worried that she was going to be the target because she’s “a bigger threat than Porsche.” First of all, the fake grass in the backyard is “a bigger threat than Porsche,” and Kalia thinking that she’s a target because she’s “a bigger threat than Porsche” is like driving a crappy old Ford Pinto and saying the only reason someone tried to steal it is because it’s “way nicer than the Yugo.”

- After a bunch of pleading by Daniele, Kalia, and Porsche, Jeff ended up making the smart move and putting Daniele on the block. I did enjoy his parting shot to Daniele: “If you leave on Thursday and Julie asks you that same question…I hope you have a different answer.” ZING!

- Bad Episode + Predictable Result = Short Recap. Sorry folks…let’s hope tomorrow’s episode is better.

Please keep in mind that my recaps will always be based on the TV airings of Big Brother. I do not, and will not, be watching or reading any info from the live feeds. Please keep that in mind as I intend to keep the entire season on my site SPOILER-FREE. After each episode, my recaps should be online and live within 15 minutes of the show ending on the East Coast.

Big Brother fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.