Big Brother Recap: "Redemption Island Comes To The Big Brother House"

After a week of excessive drama in the Big Brother house, could Rachel really have enough votes to stay this week? Why does everyone want to punch someone or something? And most importantly, which houseguest will return from Redemption Island...um, I mean... sequester...to re-enter the game?

My Random Thoughts:

- Lawon went on about how excited he was to be on the block, talking about his impending special powers and his 99% certainty (sorry, no drink on that one) that he would be coming back. He then went on to talk about what a bold move it was, and told the rest of the houseguests that he wasn’t stupid. I beg to differ, since this is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.

Lawon over-acted trying to come across as annoyed about the nomination, but it was pretty easy to see through, and Shelly figured it out in approximately a nanosecond. He even went so far as to say he wanted to punch something and “slam a damn door” (gasp!). Mama Spears simply went up and asked Kalia if Lawon volunteered…and the HoH sang like a canary.

- Rachel went up to the HoH room to try to strike a deal with Daniele and Kalia, and at the end of the pow-wow, they had seemingly agreed to a deal, even though Daniele said “every time she opens her mouth I want to punch it closed.” The only caveat was that she couldn’t say anything about the proposed deal, and to the crazy lady’s credit, she didn’t actually spill anything to anyone afterwards.

- I’ve got to give Shelly credit, she got all CSI in this episode, trying to figure out what was going on with Rachel and Daniele/Kalia, so she went and put the bug in Dani’s ear that Rachel was freaking out after they met, and suggested that it appeared a deal was struck. It was completely untrue, but it served it’s purpose, and gave Shelly some valuable info, and put a wedge between the potential alliance.

- Julie had her obligatory mini-talk with the houseguests and we learned the following: Daniele isn’t worried about the Twist, Shelly wants to make Adam cry, Jordan is “gripey” about being a Have Not, and Jeff thinks the game is getting harder.

- I really enjoyed the footage from last season of Ragan insulting Rachel, but was shocked to see that they are friends outside the house. Not shocking was that Matt and Ragan’s bromance is still going strong. Funny to see Matt talk about what I mentioned in my last recap, that when Rachel cries, there are no tears. Very astute observation by Ragan that Rachel is like the killer at the end of a horror movie. Only difference is that I don’t think she’s acting…

- The winner of the most obvious statement of the week went to Kalia, who told Julie that if Lawon leaves this week and doesn’t return, she will “feel responsible.” Why on Earth would you feel responsible since you were the one who nominated him and orchestrated the plan to keep Rachel?

- Just before the houseguests voted, Rachel reminded everyone that there was a twist this week, and Lawon’s farewell speech was a mish-mash of partial English and random sounds, making me even more confused than when he normally talks.

- Lawon was voted out unanimously, and just before he left the House, Julie revealed the Twist to the house, and upon hearing that Brendon may be able to return to the game, Rachel’s mouth was left agape in a pose I’m sure she is quite accustomed to. Come on, you know it’s not the first time she’s cramped up like that…

- My girlfriend asked me during this episode what I thought would happen if Rachel gets voted out and Brendon gets voted in, so that they would have to compete against each other, specifically if I thought that Brendon would let her win so she could go back in the house. I said that yes, he would, and isn’t that a disgusting thought? Because you know he would. Thank god it didn’t play out that way.

- Julie talked to the America’s Vote candidates, which were 75% comprised of the worst Big Brother Alliance in history: The Regulators. Everyone was shocked to see Brendon, Keith kept trying to cop a feel on Cassi (some things never change, huh Keith?), and Brendon was shocked to hear Rachel wasn’t evicted. Also, a note for Dominic, I think offering your first-born child when you’re a 25-year old virgin who lives at home doesn’t really carry a lot of weight.

- The winner of the America’s vote was Brendon, with over 50% of the vote, which disgusted me to no end, because there is no way that this was not fixed. I’m so disillusioned with this ridiculous turn of events that I’m considering ditching this show. Just like Survivor: Redemption Island with Rob and Russell, these shows are rigged to protect the returning players. What a farce.

Could that challenge have been any more rigged for Brendon to win? Rachel was able to yell out which balls Brendon needed to get to win the competition? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I’m seriously so pissed off, I’m not even writing any more after watching that. Seriously.

Brendon won and is back in the house. No new HoH yet.

See you Sunday…maybe.

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