September 29, 2010: Survivor Recap - "Don't Think That I'm Gonna Be Nice To You Because You Have One Leg"

We’re only on the third episodes of Survivor Nicaragua, and so far it’s been the Jimmy Johnson show. With the CBS previews this week, it looked like that trend would continue, as we kept getting teased about a possible mutiny, and saw footage of the Coach barking at a monkey.

To be honest, I was still reeling from the absurdity of last week’s Tribal Council, which saw minutes-from-being-ousted Shannon lose his mind and go crazy in front of everyone. Reading Jeff Probst’s blog last week, I learned two things: a) that Shannon actually did go bonkers right from the first question…that wasn’t creative editing, and b) Shannon will get a reprieve of sorts at the reunion show because it is taking place in L.A. this season, not New York City, as I stated last week.

But back to this week.Would NaOnka continue to be the drama queen we saw last week? Would the teased Tribe Switch-up happen already? And who’s being ‘wasted’ on the bench?

My Random Thoughts:

- When the Older Tribe came across the pack of howler monkeys, Jimmy T made sure to tell the monkeys “We ain’t gonna hurt ya.” I’m thinking that the monkeys could have put up a pretty fair fight against these old folks. I’ll take the monkeys. And speaking of Jimmy T, could it be any more obvious that he has a mouth full of fake teeth? Was he allowed to bring his Polident to the jungle?

- Yve talked about loving Jimmy Johnson’s soul, and how “inspiring” it was. I’m sorry, but I just can’t get behind your spiritual assessment as I’m watching him howl at monkeys. (Although the Terry Bradshaw dig was pretty funny.)

- Marty keeps showing how annoyed he is that everyone likes Jimmy J, but do you really have to be so visibly annoyed when your tribe is catching fish? - On paper, I can’t really ever understand the logic of telling your tribemates you have the Hidden Immunity Idol, so I wasn’t big on my pick to win, Marty, telling the rest of the nursing home that he had found it. But that strategy worked for Yul Kwon in Survivor Cook Islands, so maybe it will work here too.

- Dan looks like every Italian uncle I’ve ever known…and there have been a lot. Watching him waddle around camp made me wonder if he was suitable to be on Survivor, or was auditioning for the role of The Penguin in the next Batman sequel.

- Then, right from crotchety Dan, they switched to the Younger Tribe and a Bo Derek-esque shot of Brenda wading into the surf. Kind of like parking your sports car beside an old beater so that it looks even better. Yes, we get it…she’s your sex symbol for this season, there’s no need to beat us over the head with it. - The challenge was neck and neck until Benry took over and the Younger Tribe got to take back a bunch of spices and the Travelocity Immunity Gnome. Jimmy T begged to the Coach that he was being “wasted” on the sidelines, and Dan did nothing. How bad is it when Jeff Probst yells at you “Dan! You need to do something!”

- Does "Purple" Kelly ever speak?

- SUPER-SCRAP on the beach as NaOnka took out Kelly B to get the Hidden Immunity Idol Clue. NaOnka is rapidly becoming the most annoying person this season, and is in the running for most annoying of all-time. Unlike Coach Wade or Jonny Fairplay, who at least made good television, she does not. And her on-camera confessionals are absolutely unbearable. I actually get a headache watching her bob and weave with her BS drama delivery, and listen to her ridiculous fake “listen to me, I’m from the hood” ranting.

- Why is Holly always squinting like someone is reflecting a mirror in her face?

- If I see that freaking Zesty Mango McMini commercial with the singing girls one more time, I’m going to find them and personally shove one of those disgusting sandwiches down each of their throats. - The Older Tribe didn’t really have a decision at Tribal Council. They’re at a disadvantage already, and they need to keep the tribe strong by voting out the weakest member…an arthritic old shuffler who can’t do anything. Despite the Kool-Aid that Marty was dishing out to his tribemates, voting out Jimmy J at this point is a death sentence for this team if they want to be successful from this point forward. Dan will only hurt them in challenges. I wasn’t a fan of him being on the show…but this vote was a big mistake.

Next Week: Hurricane NaOnka rolls in.

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