After another Probst-less summer, it’s time for us junkies to get our fix once again, so settle in, grab a cold one and let’s talk Survivor: Nicaragua. For the record, every time I type that, I want you to imagine that I’m saying it in a very thick and authentic Latin/Hispanic accent…so that it sounds like Nee-Kah-RRRRAHG-Wah. More authentic, don’t you think?
To the returning readers, Welcome back! It’s nice to see you again. And for those of you new to my blog and my Survivor Recaps, a hearty welcome as well, and a couple of things you should know: a) the recaps should be up within 20 minutes (often less) of when the show ends on the East Coast, b) the pictures will all have hidden captions underneath, so make sure to mouse over them if you want to see them, and c) I love Comments, so let’s all get involved in the Comments section for this season.
The premiere of Survivor is always so overwhelming, so instead of a traditional ‘Random Thoughts’ format (like I will be doing for the rest of the season), for tonight I’ll be going with my First Impressions of the new Castaways, based on tonight’s episode alone.
Alina – Art student who decided to keep the Immunity Idol a secret with Kelly B. Not much to go on yet.
Benry – I’m not going to be able to get past the name. As most of you know, I’m a Lost junkie, and when Michael Emerson’s character was first introduced in Season 2, his name was Henry Gale, before we later learned that his name was actually Ben Linus. The Blogosphere and Lostophiles alike started referring to him as “Benry”, and that’s all I can think of when I hear that name.
Brenda – The flirty one who found the Medal of Power. Looks like she’ll try to use that (the flirtiness) throughout the game.
Chase – The best Survivor Job Caption since Erik the Ice Cream Scooper. “Pro Race Car Jackman”…are you serious? I don’t have enough time to list all of the jokes that are going through my head right now.
Holly – Overplaying the game from the get-go. Running up to people the second you get back to camp and saying “I like you. I trust you. Let’s be in an alliance” comes across a little too eager, don’t you think?
Jane – The 56-year-old firestarter with the dead husband. Please don’t tell me we’re going to have to hear about dead hubby every episode.
Jimmy J. – I was very vocal about being annoyed that he was on the show. I did, however, like the speech he gave his tribemates about trying to help them win because he could never win the prize (and he’s right). The “Coach” in him, sure came through in that speech.
Jimmy T. – Looks like an animated character, or maybe an old pro wrestler. Those are some scary Man boobs. 48 years old, but looks 70. 18 years younger than Jimmy Johnson, but looks 15 years older.
Jud – They nicknamed him Fabio, but “idiot” would probably be more appropriate. I predict every 3rd word from him will be “dude”, and he will treat the game like a frat house.
Kelly B. – Did she really think she was going to keep an artificial leg a secret? Especially when the CBS cast photo showed her with the prosthetic visible. YES people are staring at your leg…it looks like your shoe is floating in mid-air.
Kelly S. – Barbie-esque blonde...”Purple Kelly”. Was she even in the episode other than giggling at her own name to Jeff?
Marty – Seems like a smart and composed character. I like him.
NaOnka – Not sure what to think, but if your name sounds like something that a dolphin would say to a whale, then you need to make a pretty good impression on me, and I haven’t seen anything yet.
Shannon – Declared a) that he’s never called a woman a dumb blonde before, but Jud is a Dumb blonde, b) that he doesn’t want a woman to win the game, c) that men already “get owned in marriage” by women, and d) that there will probably be a woman president next. Do you think someone has a bit of resentment towards women because he was given the name “Shannon” as a child?
Wendy – Her husband thought she would be the first one eliminated, so she decided to “hide my true self.” Well, if the crazy goat rancher with the western jacket WITH TASSLES and the turned up cowboy hat isn’t the true you…I don’t want to meet the true you. Also, for the record, unless you’re Madonna, nobody should be wearing that damn cowboy hat. Not your drunken girlfriend at the bar, not Bret Michaels, not even you, Jeff Probst!
Yve – Looked annoyed because she had to go with the old tribe. I think she’s a cougar who likes to go to the bars every weekend and act like she’s 22. That was confirmed when she made a point at Tribal Council of saying that you never ask a woman her age.
Dan, Jill, Sash, Tyrone – I have no idea because I don’t really know who you are.
- I’m already not a fan of this move to Wednesday nights. It just feels wrong.
- I liked the choice they had to make at the beginning, between the unknown power and the Fishing Gear/Flint. Only because they implemented one of my suggestions from last season…what you don’t choose, the other tribe gets. Love it.
- Only 21 minutes into the first episode before the first blurred crotch of the season. A new Survivor record!
- La Flor’s entrance made it obvious that they are there to be silly and goofy, and that they don’t see this being much of a competition against “the old folks.” I think that will be a mistake.
- I think the Medallion twist is great. An advantage at challenges that switches tribes after you use it. This should be good over the course of the season.
- During the challenge, when you heard Jeff yell out “Older tribe with a great flow”, how many of you thought it might be time to book a prostate exam soon?
- Jimmy T. declared at Tribal council that Jimmy Johnson could win the game because if you play the best, the jury will give you the prize. Maybe someone should have explained that to the Jury BOTH times that Russell got screwed.
- So Wendy got the boot, proving her husband right. Home to the goats, and a token question from Probst at the reunion show.
Now, based on first impressions alone, if I had to choose a player who I think could go all the way at this point, I would go with Marty (dark horse = Alina). But what do I know…I picked the first one voted out the last two seasons.
What did you think? Who is your pick? Will this Old vs Young twist be as ridiculous as I’m expecting it to be? Let’s hear from you in the Comments section.
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Ratings News - 26th April 2017
1 hour ago