August 29, 2010: Big Brother Recap

I was pretty annoyed at the end of Thursday’s double eviction episode when they didn’t show us the second HoH competition, so unless you were watching the live feeds or reading online (which I am not), there was no knowing who the new HoH was until tonight. Who would rule the house with only 5 players left in the game? Would Pandora’s Box return? And what the hell is a Penguin Spaceship?

My Random Thoughts:

- Hayden said that he was worried that Ragan was on to the Brigade, so he had to get him out of the house before he could do any damage. Well, with only 5 players left, and 3 of them being Brigade members, what do you think could happen? You’re in the clear to out your alliance now, there’s no point in hiding it anymore.

- Ragan was so excited about winning the POV in the double eviction episode, that in the Diary Room, he seemingly turned into Emeril Lagasse, just yelling BAM! over and over.

- I honestly think that the houseguests made a mistake sending Brendon home over Britney. I know they have been targeting him forever because of his relationship with Rachel, but when you factor in the Jury House, I can’t imagine that he could ever get the votes to win the $500,000, so why wouldn’t you want to keep him around? Conversely, Britney is a top candidate to win the game, I would think, so this may come back to haunt them.

- I’m getting really tired of Hayden’s ridiculous hair. 90 percent of the time he has that absurd mop with his bangs covering his forehead, and the only other thing we ever see is him wearing his Arizona State ball cap backwards. It’s almost like he’s doing whatever he can to hide his forehead. Does he have a swastika tattooed on there or something?

- The blackjack HoH competition was a neat twist on the classic Big Brother ‘ball-flipping’ game, and it was pretty funny to see Enzo’s ineptitude once again.

- Enzo was being a baby once again about possibly going on the block. Doesn’t he realize that if the 3 Brigade members are tight, the nominations don’t matter, as long as one Brigade member is not on the block. There are only 2 votes being cast, so if there’s a tie, Lane will break it anyways, and he seems likely to stick with the Brigade…unless you decide to start threatening him!

- 4 for 4 on houseguests opening Pandora’s Box this season. Well, at least something worked since the Saboteur twist failed so miserably. I do, however, give Lane credit for owning up to it with the rest of the house.

- I find it very hard to believe that Enzo is troubled by having to eat with his hands. And again…why is he sometimes in the Penguin suit, and sometimes not? Why even give him the punishment?

- The nominations were largely redundant, and I think Lane made the right decision by keeping Britney at bay for a while longer by not putting her on the block just yet. She may go up after the POV, but at this point, he made a smart strategic move not putting her up. I’m not sure if his choice of her being the first key to be pulled was so smart, though. It may send a message to the Brigade that he is loyal to her over them. Regardless, the POV will determine everything this week…

Big Brother fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions hidden underneath, and I encourage you to leave a comment if you’re so inclined. Thanks for reading.

August 28, 2010: An Extremely Odd Moment

One of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me, happened last night. I wasn't really sure I was going to share this story based on the actual...ahem...'subject matter'...but when I re-evaluated the way it all went down, I just had to make a post.

My girlfriend and I had gone to the horse races last night, and before we left for the night, we had popped into the adjoining slot machine section. Now, this story doesn't really have anything to do with horse racing or slot machines, but rather what happened right before we left. Just as we were getting ready to go, I went into the bathroom.

(Warning, the remainder of this story takes place in the men's bathroom. Turn back if you are not prepared to proceed.)

When I walked in, there was an older man who had just come in as well, maybe in his 50s or 60s, and other than an employee filling the soap dispensers, we were the only ones in the room. There were 6 urinals lined up along the wall, and this man had taken up shop at #6. The thing about this man was that he was coughing heavily, a good old-fashioned smoker's cough that made it sound like he was ready to hack up his own lung at any moment.

Now, independent of the cough, I strolled on down to the other end of the urinals and chose #2. For those of you unaware as to why I chose #2, I would suggest you check out The Urinal Game for a crash course in Urinal Etiquette. No sooner do I get to the urinal, that another man comes in, probably in his late 40s and wearing dirty, ratty old shorts with a ball cap on his head.

This guy correctly chooses urinal #4 to give the maximum buffer space among the 3 of us, but just as he gets there, Johnny Coughs-A-Lot starts another bout of hacking, and apparently startles the new guy, who now backs away from #4, then comes all the way to my end, around me, and settles in at #1.

Now, guys out there will know what I'm talking about when I say there is nothing more odd in a men's restroom than a guy setting up shop right beside you when there are three empty spots open on the other side. I don't care if the guy at the other end is radiating a nuclear glow with flies dancing around him, you still pick #4. But it was no big deal, I was going to be out of there in a minute anyways.

Then here's where it got really weird.

This guy to my left now makes a big show of demonstratively straddling up to the urinal...spreading his legs out like he's got his palms on the hood of a police car and is about to get patted down. It was impossible to miss, even though I'm just staring at the wall in front of me. Then he does this even more dramatic show of shaking his arm and whipping it down to his crotch to...um...grip...in a very awkward way.
The best way I can describe it is to imagine if he were trying to give the Heimlich Manoeuver to his own pelvis. He had turned his hand backwards and was standing there astride with his other hand proudly on his hip. (like the left hand in the picture above) I know what you're thinking: "Why the hell were you looking at him?", but I wasn't! It was impossible not to see peripherally, he was making a point of it for some bizarre reason. Remember when cell phones were new, and there was always 'that guy' who had a cell phone, and when he was talking on it, had to have his elbow as high up as possible to show off that he was on a cell phone. That's what it was like.

So then, the guy at #6 starts hacking again, and as hes coughing, Mr. Spread-Em-And-Go to my left pipes up and says to me "Time for another cigarette, huh?". I'm too stunned to even respond, because you just don't talk to strangers at a urinal...ever. I've been very vocal about my belief that your time at the urinal is 'your time', and that there is never a justified reason to talk to another man while he is there. If you read my post on running into celebrity chef Bobby Flay in Las Vegas, you'll remember that. And if you haven't read that post, I suggest you do, if for no other reason than to re-examine proper handwashing procedures.

So I was stunned when this guy started talking to me, and I turned to look at him (in the face!), and he has this weird ear-to-ear grin as he's turning and facing me. And he says again, "Time for another cigarette, huh?", as if my response of "Huh?" meant "What did you just say?" instead of "Why are you talking to me, you freak!"

In what universe is standing at a urinal smiling at the stranger next to you as you make fun of another guy at a urinal down the way...while holding your manhood (backwards) in your hand...even remotely normal?

It was all I could do not to run screaming from the bathroom. It was like a deleted scene from a Rob Zombie movie.

I'm using the stalls from now on.

Big Brother Recap: Everyone's Under The Bus

I have to be honest, I love double eviction episodes. As a TV viewer, they’re fantastic because you get to see the utter shock on the face of the houseguests (although it looks like it was somewhat expected tonight), and the inability to scramble and make deals. As a contestant, they are without a doubt the most unfair and aggravating aspect of the show, but suck it up hamsters, it’s time to see two of you hit the bricks.

My Random Thoughts:

- When Matt went up on the block, he looked like a mopey meth addict with the flu. Come on Mr. Diabolical Super-Genius…take it like a man.

- Ragan, thank you for finally realizing the alliance of four! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I actually double fist-pumped when he said it! Enzo was such an idiot for talking about splitting the votes the week before.

- Hayden declared that “The Brigade controls everyone in this house…except Ragan.” Well, except for Brendon, too…and I guess, to an extent, Britney, since two of you are on the block while she is HoH. So, what you’re really saying, Hayden, is that the four of you control…the four of you?

- The only thing worse than having to go through a double eviction is having to go through a double eviction while wearing a penguin suit.

- Brendon, for the love of God, stop doing everything “For Rachel.” Get a spine, you moron.

- Like him or hate him, you have to respect Matt for keeping the Brigade under wraps even though he clearly knew he was being evicted. He was a lot of things, but he was loyal. Although playing both sides is what cost him the game…over-complicating things like I’ve been saying all season.

- I did enjoy seeing that during the interview with Julie, Matt’s little Hobbit legs couldn’t even touch the ground.

- For the first HoH competition, that was a disgustingly easy question to begin with, but did you notice that Hayden found both names before he ran the first one back? That’s what won it for him. Smart move.

- All Enzo does at the end of every competition is complain. And why the hell did he not have to wear the damn penguin outfit for the competition? I thought the deal was that he had to wear it for one week? Don’t implement a punishment if you’re not going to make the houseguests adhere to it. Outrageous.

- At the beginning of the Before/After POV competition, I turned to my girlfriend and said “Ragan is winning this.” And how awesome is it that Brendon was eliminated from the POV competition (and Big Brother as a whole) on a question about Rachel?

- Four straight unanimous evictions now: Rachel (6-0), Kathy (5-0), Matt (4-0), and Brendon (3-0). Between that, multiple HoH and PoV winners, and the failed Saboteur twist to start the season, there has been a distinct ‘absence of drama’ this summer, don't you think?

- “Brains go out the window as soon as you walk through those doors”, Brendon told Julie. NOW we know why he got involved with Rachel!

- Why the hell did we not get to see the second HoH competition? It’s like CBS is just winging it this season.

Big Brother fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Dont forget to mouse over the photos to see the hidden captions underneath. Thanks for reading.

August 25, 2010: Big Brother Recap

The Big Brother house is now over 50% comprised of The Brigade, and lone wolf Brendon is on the block again. Could the POV save Brendon yet again? Would Matt turn on the Brigade? And who is rocking the cueball look?

Let’s find out…my Random Thoughts on Wednesday’s episode:

- Brendon started this episode the same way he ended the last one, complaining about Britney’s reasons for nominating him, and I have to say that I agree. She said he was “coming after her”, but of the three people he was vocally targeting (Britney, Matt, Ragan), the other two went on the block and SHE DIDN’T. How is that coming after her? But as justified as his anger was, I’m not sure that she needed to be labeled a “lying whore.” That was a little harsh. Maybe classy Rachel told him to call her that in their imaginary conversation he had in the Have Not room.

- Did you see Matt’s Al Bundy pose while the POV players were being picked? What was that about? Do you really want your hand down your pants on national TV?

- These types of Veto competitions always favour the most desperate houseguest. No way Brendon wasn’t going to win this. And it always screws the HoH who wants the other houseguests to make sacrifices…and they never do.

- Hayden, $5000 is more money than you’ve made in the last 2 years? There are panhandlers and squeegee kids that can pull in more than that over 2 years. I knew you were lazy, but come on! There goes your shot with Hippie-Tard Kristen. I’m pretty sure you can’t take her out for a nice date on your weekly paycheck of $40.

- I love that Brendon picked Britney as the person to be handcuffed to. Especially since he won the veto, because the other houseguests can’t get in her ear to talk about replacement nominees while they are handcuffed.

- Penguins don’t meow. That’s a conflict. And the only Italian penguins I’ve ever heard of are nuns.

- That didn’t look like chum. It looked like KFC Cole Slaw. At least Britney wore a co-ordinating jacket to match the chum. That was considerate.

- Do we really need to see Jesse for a third season? I love that Britney got burned by having to spend an hour with this egotistical jackass. By the way, he’s about 5’4” and wants to be a professional wrestler. Maybe in the midget division, Jesse. And what advice other than weightlifting could he have given her…how NOT to win the game…twice?

- The fact that Matt was “throwing Ragan under the bus” (Man, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em), should have made it crystal clear to Britney, Ragan AND Brendon that Matt, Enzo, Hayden, and Lane are in an alliance, and that they need to break up that foursome before they are 4 of the last 6.

- But alas, Britney fell for the Brigade’s lies and put Matt on the block. Which is a shame because from an alliance standpoint, he was really the only one of the four who was committed to the alliance. He proved it by suggesting Ragan for the block. The only way for an alliance of four to win the game is to NEVER WAVER before the Final Four, and these four guys just couldn’t do it. I can’t stand Matt, but you can’t argue that he was trying to work for the team of four. I wish Britney would have been able to figure out that Hayden won $5000 and the Hawaiian Vacation, and we surely would have seen him on the block.

- In his closing comments, Ragan said "he would have fallen on his sword" for Matt. Thank you, CBS, for not making the obligatory gay joke. It was bad enough last week with the hot dog and ranch dressing shot.

- Don't forget Thursday's episode is a live DOUBLE eviction.

Big Brother fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Also, don't forget to mouse over the pictures for the hidden captions underneath. Thanks for reading.

August 22, 1010: Big Brother Recap

I was away on holidays for the past week, so I didn’t get a chance to watch the Wednesday and Thursday episodes of Big Brother until this weekend. I was hoping that the Diamond Power of Veto would provide some drama, and it surely did.

As I predicted last week, Brendon’s nominations were redundant since Matt held all the power this week. And I respect his decision to get rid of Kathy, because it didn’t upset anyone in the house really…including Kathy, which was kind of shocking. I think she knew that she had ZERO game-playing ability, and was lucky to be there as long as she was.

Rachel’s return was rather dramatic as well, as she came into the house insulting everyone and then couldn’t understand why Ragan shot back at her. I liked Ragan, but was starting to think he was getting too arrogant and annoying lately, but the way he shot back at that vile, redheaded witch, he made it back into my good books. Much like Natalie from last season, I think Rachel has some serious self-evaluation to do after she watches her behavior this season.

But on to tonight's episode. My Random Thoughts:

- Matt just realized that he wasn’t that important to the Brigade? Don't you get it…you're the one that every group needs, but nobody likes. You're the one that is smart so they can cheat off of in school. You're the one who has a car so they get a ride everywhere. You're the one who has a family with the pool, and probably the hot older sister that everyone wants to see around the pool. Or you're the first one to get to legal drinking age so that you can buy everyone their beer. Nobody likes you…they just need you.

- Why was NO ONE talking about who the Saboteur was for the past 2 weeks? Julie tells them that the Saboteur twist is over, and nobody thinks to question who it was? That would be a HUGE element to introduce into the house, the fact that someone just won $20,000 lying to the house.

- Lane "the Beast" turns into Johnny Roid Rage in the Diary Room as soon as he starts thinking about weights? That whole sequence was so stereotypical 'Southern Meathead' that the only things missing were a pickup truck, a John Deere ball cap, and a soundtrack by Nickelback.

- Matt dreams about a shirtless Hayden? That's actually quite alarming, but the little weasel redeemed it a little bit by making me laugh out loud when he said, "I'm OK dreaming about Hayden, I'd just rather he was wearing a shirt in my next dream." Lane made the best point when he asked why on Earth you would ever tell anyone about that?

- Did you laugh out loud like I did when Brendon told Britney not to "play a game for Matt and Ragan." Aren't you the guy that last week based a nomination on your ousted girlfriend's secret pretzel message?

- Ragan has been a Have Not for 24 days… I think I actually believe him when he told us that he was down to his birth weight.

- During the Have/Have Not competition, Enzo said that he could tell who took the bad shot because he was "like a psychic with Caller ID." Can someone please explain to me why a psychic with Caller ID would even be remotely impressive? If you were calling for an appointment and she knew your name, would you believe that she had a spiritual connection with the beyond, or that she just paid an extra couple of bucks a month on her phone bill? But I suppose if you're calling for an appointment in the first place, you believe in her fake conjuror's ways already, so her telephone options don't really matter.

- The Rajin' Ragan was a shot made of hot dogs and ranch dressing? Seriously? Come on Big Brother, this is what you pick for the only gay contestant on the show. Very, very weak.

- Trying to tell the prospective pawn that you want them on the block because they will be a strong competitor in the POV competition is a really lame argument at this point of the game. With only 7 people left in the game, 6 of them are going to play anyways, so it's a pretty good bet they will be competing already.

- So Brendon and Enzo are on the block. Seems like a pretty obvious choice for Brendon to get the boot this week, but we'll see if the Brigade can start turning on themselves already.

Finally, and most importantly, Happy 9th Birthday today to my best friend in the entire world, my wonderful son, Lucas. Happy Birthday to the best son a Dad could ever ask for!

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.

August 15, 2010: Big Brother Recap

Thursday night’s episode of Big Brother ended with a Survivor-inspired HoH contest (way to go, CBS – start recycling across show boundaries) that saw Brendon trying to avenge his ousted girlfriend’s honour. Would he succeed? Could Matt talk without clapping? And who’s the Raisin, and who’s the Bran?

All that and more…Random Thoughts on tonight’s episode:

- The proposed side deal that Enzo and Hayden made with Brendon and Rachel prior to the eviction seemed like a pretty smart idea. Why not try to focus on a common target and keep yourself safe? I liked it.

- Kathy vs. Enzo for last place in the HoH competition was pretty sad to watch, but Enzo…if you can’t beat someone whose only comment on this challenge was “the most difficult thing for me was figuring out what to do”, you need a long, hard look in the mirror, my friend. - The HoH competition seemed to be overly filled with shots of Britney bending over and showing her cleavage in a wet tank top. We get that she is your resident “hottie” in this Sausage-Fest of a house with only two women left, but between those shots and the constant footage of her raccoon-eye mascara, I felt like I was watching an animated soft-core porn film.

- Brendon went all “Little Engine That Could” in the competition, telling himself over and over that nobody wanted it as bad as he did. And as he celebrated with the corny “Eye of the Tiger” imitation music, it was obvious that Britney, Ragan, and Matt would be his 3 chosen Have Nots for the week. It was amusing how quickly he named them.

- After Ragan was named a Have Not for the week, he complained about Big Brothers karmic forces being against him since it was the 3rd time he had to be a Have Not. Wait a second, isn’t this the guy who chose to be the new Saboteur? And now you’re complaining about bad karma? Come on, Ragan…I like you, but you have to see just how ridiculous that is.

- Hayden is talking about voting Britney out so that Lane comes back to the Brigade fully? You don’t want one of your Brigade members to be corrupted by a woman in the house? Do you even remember Kristen?

- Why does the backyard always look like someone threw a bunch of Styrofoam packing peanuts in a cotton candy machine?

- Lane: “When Enzo came up to me and told me that Brendon was thinking about putting me on the block, I wanted to go to a bar, find the hottest girl there…and fight her boyfriend.” Lane cracks me up…he’s just so Texas.

- More ‘sabotage’ that is just comments that confuse the houseguests? This is the worst twist ever. Although when Ragan coasts to his $20,000 saboteur prize on Thursday, it will be interesting to see if he is revealed to the house as the Saboteur at that point.

- Lane and Ragan were nominated, which is kind of confusing. Regardless, the nominations are redundant, as is the POV competition, since Matt’s Diamond Power of Veto will decide the ultimate nominees. Will Matt use it on Lane if the nominees stay the same? Interesting question.

- I’m sick of the HoH being branded 'cowardly' by the person who gets nominated every single week. Get over it people, learn the game.

Just a quick note to let you know that there will be no Big Brother recaps this week for Wednesday or Thursday’s episodes. They will pick up again one week from tonight on Sunday, and I will give my commentary on the entire week’s episodes.

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.

August 12, 2010: Big Brother Recap - Eviction Night

Thursday's live eviction show started with a refresher on Brendon's Veto speech which saw him attack Britney in an attempt to get the houseguests to vote him out instead of Rachel. The best part of the speech was the look on Rachel's face, as her jaw was on the floor. I can't say that's shocking to me because I seriously doubt that's the first time her mouth has been open that wide.

HAY-OOOOOOOOOO!!!

And...on that note, let's get started on tonight's Random Thoughts:

- After Brendon's speech, Rachel declared "That's the nicest thing that anyone would ever do for me." First of all, if verbally attacking someone is the nicest thing anyone would ever do for you, maybe you should reconsider your overall circle of friends, and did you notice that she said "would" do, and not "could" do? Just what they were willing to do for her, not what they were capable of doing. Interesting choice of words.

- Britney's Neander-TAL walk in the yard was pretty funny. I always said the best way to deal with a bully is to just laugh at them and don't give them any voice.

- This Saboteur twist with Ragan is lame. CBS and Julie Chen are referring to it as his "reign of treachery", but he's not really doing anything. At least Annie locked the storage room. All Ragan has done is say things to confuse people...how is that sabotage?

- Can someone please explain to Rachel what the phrase "most underestimated" means? When Julie asked her, she picked "everyone", and said she'd like to see them try harder. Um...what?

- I really enjoyed seeing Brendon's ex-fiance watching the footage of Brendon and Rachel. How funny was it when her mom declared how thankful she was that her daughter didn't marry him? Watching the family laughing at the TV was awesome...but how do you think Brendon's family felt watching that segment?

- I hate the "Love or Money" argument within the parameters of this game. It's an easy choice: You take the money and then continue your love story in 30 days! The game is over in a month, and then you can spend the $500K together. Just ask Jeff and Jordan.

- Why was there no talk with Matt in the HoH room before the vote tonight? Seemed odd.

- Rachel's speech: I fought/I'm grateful/I love Brendon...Brendon's speech: I fought/I love Rachel/I'm like a witch, persecuted. Are these two for real?

- As soon as Enzo cast his vote, it was obvious that Rachel was being evicted. I can't decide what eviction line I enjoyed more, Britney's "Tequila, Vomit, Hundred Dollar Bills...I vote to evict Rachel", or Ragan's "Well, he got the witch part right." Considering the nominees thought it would be Brendon, I was sure that the Chenbot would try the ol' swerve: "By a vote of 6-0...Brendon...you are safe." But alas, it was a run of the mill eviction speech.

- Rachel talking to Julie was ridiculous: " I'm shocked...I'm not shocked...I just tried to fight...I was always fighting...they were scared of me..." But the best part was her face when watching the goodbye messages. Did you see her face when Britney did her "Woooo! Who wants to see me go to the jury house?"...It said "Little blonde girl, I will cut you."

- What the hell was that line Julie "But First" Chen gave her before signing off, telling her "this may not be the last you've seen of the Big Brother House." For the love of God, I hope it's just some sort of lame return for a challenge like Jesse and the gorilla suit from 2 years ago.

Regardless of who wins HoH tonight (another off-air competition, really?), the story of the week is going to be Matt's Diamond Power of Veto. Can't wait to see the faces if/when he uses it.

Should be an interesting week.

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.

August 11, 2010: Big Brother Recap

So, let me get this straight, Rachel doesn’t understand why she’s “the bad guy” to the rest of the house? How about 2 HoH wins, “Floaters, grab a life vest”, and “Bring It On!” That’s just for starters. And if she can’t realize that while Matt’s nominations might be personal, they most certainly (and maybe coincidentally) are the smartest strategic move to nominate 2 people who are visibly aligned and have won 2 HoH’s and 2 POV’s.

Then this freak-job psycho goes to the kitchen and starts chopping onions menacingly, while glaring at Kathy, before heading to the bedroom to cry. Then it’s off to the diary room for the most obvious “Fake Drama Fake Crying” I’ve ever seen, before heading to the backyard to see the bowling setup, which causes her to run inside and cry…again.

“Bring It On” she told the house. Well, they brought it on…and she went into a Category 5 meltdown almost instantly. Don’t you just love big talkers who can’t back up their fake bravado? I know a lot of people like that, actually.

“There comes a point where you cannot do any more. Like, you have nothing left to give.” What? You were just nominated moments ago…and now the Queen Fighter is showing that she’s just a quitter. Ten she dropped this nugget of wisdom: “I feel like Roadkill…waiting for the crows to just come eat me.”

Then some all-night bowling brought back the shit-talk, and all of a sudden, she’s telling us what a fighter she is again.

I seriously want to puke.

But enough about Rachel, on to the rest of tonight’s Random Thoughts:

- Nice to see Jeff and Jordan back to host the Veto competition. I was a big fan of both of them last season, and happy that Jordan took home the prize.

- Kathy lets out a whoop after eliminating Rachel, which I agree that she should not have apologized for. As a matter of fact, she should have punctuated it with “THAT’S for the chopping glare, bitch!”

- I can’t even begin to explain how much I loved the irony of Rachel telling Brendon to act classy. So delicious.

- Sorry, I know I said that was enough talk of Rachel, but when I heard her say this: “I don’t want to have to go up and kiss their butts and lower MY standards just to try to get them to use their power”, I was laughing so hard I actually had to pause the show. What standards? And how much lower can she go?

- 5 POV competitions now, and only 2 winners, Brendon (twice) and Britney (three times). Add that to Matt and Rachel being HoH for the last 4 weeks, and it’s turning out to be a pretty repetitive season.

- Why does Matt always have to end each sentence or speech with some lame-ass foot kick or hand clap? So pathetic…such a wannabe.

- I give Britney a lot of credit for saying flat-out “No way I’m using the veto.” What’s the point of lying? Britney’s game impresses me more every week. Rachel offering her the $5000 at the Veto Meeting only improved her standing in the house having to refuse it in front of everyone.

- Brendon’s attack on Britney was weak. Weaker than Andrew’s fake “I’m coming for you speech.” The fact that everyone laughed showed how ridiculous it is.

So who do you think is going home? Brendon or Rachel? I think it’ll be Rachel for sure, and I expect there to be fireworks on the live show tomorrow night.

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.

August 8, 2010: Big Brother Recap

Thursday's episode left the hamsters spinning around a giant makeshift paint can while getting splattered and slapped by different forms of foamy paint. Who would become the new HoH after this carnie ride of a competition, would Ragan accept his new offer, and what else would tonight's record-setting-Brigade-mention (15 times) episode have in store?

Random Thoughts on tonight's episode:

- If Matt and Ragan end up at the end of every HoH competition, this is really going to end up being a weak season. Especially since Matt looks like he could have lasted another 12 hours in both. Good luck beating him in any endurance challenges.

- Someone needs to explain to the houseguests exactly how the math of this game works. First, we've got everyone saying again how they want to send Brendon and Rachel home this week, and then Bat Boy's mother, Kathy, decides to offer words of support to the final six competitors in the HoH competition by telling them "You got this, guys." All six of them?

- Rachel shows more and more each episode just how crazy she is. After a week of "Bring it on" and talking about never quitting fighting, now she's disappointed in Brendon for not winning HoH, because she's carrying all the weight. She wins two trivia contests while he gets endurance competitions...not really the same. How long do you think she would have lasted in one of those endurance challenges? Then she has the nerve to say "It's not always all about him"...as he's trying to comfort HER. Batshit insane. Worse than crazy Bikini Barista Natalie from two seasons ago.

- I'm starting to like Britney a lot more. She's the only who really makes me laugh...with an honourable mention to Lane.

- If you're Matt, of course you take the shot at the Diamond Veto. No doubt about it. But just when I think Matt and his over-complicating ways may be behind him, he comes up with a cockamamie story about Pandora's box and a $1 prize. (On a side note, this is my 467th post on this blog, and the first time I have ever used the word 'cockamamie'.)

- Brendon said that he didn't trust Matt's story about Pandora's box because "he was acting shady and shifty." Hey Brendon, that's what Matt acts like all the time!

- I'm honestly shocked that Ragan accepted the role of the New Saboteur, and I'm sure he was reconsidering after watching the houseguests' response to the video announcement. Should be interesting.

- Rachel called Matt a "pansy" and said that targeting Brendon and Rachel was "getting old". Guess you shouldn't have been so cocky last week huh, you psycho?

Brendon and Rachel on the block. Hands up if you didn't see that coming.

No hands? Class dismissed...see you Wednesday.

August 5, 2010: Congrats A-Rod

August 5, 2010: Big Brother Recap - Eviction Night

Before I get into the details of Thursday night’s live eviction episode, can I please make a plea to the Big Brother wardrobe department to get back on track with Julie Chen’s outfits? It started off so well this year after last season’s maternity outfits, but now it looks like she’s either pregnant again, or she’s wearing the curtains from her office.

Random Thoughts on tonight’s episode:

- Why does everyone always get into bed and under the covers when it’s time to talk? It’s bad enough that these hamsters spend all summer sleeping in until noon, not working, not reading, not watching TV, not doing anything…and the laziness gets ramped up even more with every conversation taking place in bed.
- Kristen joined the ranks of the crybabies last night, and this episode saw her turning on the waterworks even more. Hayden and Kristen had a heart-to-heart after the Veto meeting where Hayden told her “it’s fine”, which is funny because it’s fine for HIM…he knows he’s staying. Why didn’t he lay it all on the line and just say “It’s ok…I’ll be fine. You’re going home.”
- As they were having their talk, and realizing that one of them was leaving for sure, and that they won’t see each other until the game is over, my girlfriend said “You’d better have sex with him tonight, then.” I actually laughed out loud at that one.
- Wasn’t it funny to watch Hayden and Kristen’s outrage that Rachel and Brendon didn’t follow their plan to take one of them off the block. Let’s remember that this is the plan that Hayden and Kristen were going to backstab them on! I can’t believe they didn’t follow through on the plan that we weren’t going to follow through on! Unbelievable!
- What the hell was that about Ragan farting and Britney’s legs? Never mind…I don’t want to know.
- Rachel: “The highest form of flattery is totally making fun of someone.” Can someone please get a Cliché Handbook for the houseguests so we don’t have to hear these ridiculous amended sayings?
- I hope UCLA plays Arkansas in next year’s NCAA tournament, just so Britney and Brendon can wear their team gear and cheer against each other. We get it, guys…you’re big fans of your respective schools. Mix up the wardrobes a bit, will ya?
- In the real world, Hayden’s mom (with way too much eyeliner) thinks Kristen is crazy…and Kristen has a boyfriend! And how nice is it that all of Kristen’s friends—and CBS—gathered him in a big group to watch her make out with Hayden. Stay classy.
- I didn’t think anyone could possibly look stupider on Eviction Night than Kristen in that Hippie-Tard, but well done, Hayden…your purple T-shirt and cheetah-print board shorts trumped Kristen in a landslide.
- Julie’s conversation with Rachel from the HoH room was just painful. We all know that Rachel’s laugh is annoying, but hearing it so many times in one interview made me scream at my TV, “SHUT UP!”. At one point, she just laughed, then paused, then laughed, then paused, then laughed again. Three times…while Julie was talking…without even saying anything! You know how in the World Cup people were trying to find a way to muffle the constant drone of the vuvuzelas while watching TV? We need that sort of technology for Rachel’s laugh.
- Hayden and Kristen had lame speeches that were full of typical Big Brother lip service mumbo-jumbo (vote with your heart, for whoever can get you further in the game) and veiled digs at others. When Kristen stated “I think I’m a stand-up person”, I honestly believe that she thought that it was the truth since she was standing when she said it. Not so bright, that Kristen.
- Enough with the sad, apologetic votes, already. Just vote. We don’t need to see Ragan and Kathy look like they’re going to cry as they vote. And don’t you love how Kathy always votes to evict the one who is staying? Great long-term game plan, Kathy.
- Rachel went on again about “me and my man” in her goodbye speech to Kristen. Again…this girl is seriously unstable. I hope she doesn’t read this blog after she gets out of the house. I don’t want her coming after me.
- So Ragan gets the opportunity to be the new Saboteur, but we don’t get to see the offer tonight, after a week of CBS promotion? Lame. And another endurance HoH already? Boo. A very disappointing end to the episode.

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add you name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.

August 4, 2010: Big Brother Recap

I’ve spent a fair amount of time on a sailboat in my life. From time to time, you’re just sitting on the boat, maybe anchored in a harbour somewhere with other boats, or tied to your dock in the marina, when some guy in a powerboat comes racing by. What happens then is that the wake from the powerboat whips the water into a frenzy, rocking all the sailboats from side to side, rattling masts and creating chaos.

That’s essentially what Andrew did last week on Big Brother.

Everyone was just sitting there waiting for the live vote, and all of them knew full well that Andrew was going home, but the Captain Kosher fired up the engines and left the houseguests swimming in his wake.

I didn’t get to see all of Sunday’s episode, which is why there was no recap that night, but I did get to see the aftermath of Andrew’s speech, as Rachel and Kristen went Claws-To-The-Wall in a verbal catfight unlike anything I’ve ever seen on this show. It was great TV.

But I have to say, if these four had ANY brains whatsoever, they would realize that the smartest plan would be to now align with each other. That’s right, Brendon, Rachel, Kristen, and Hayden would be an unstoppable force in the house, and no one would suspect it after the blowup.

But I’d put the chances of that happening somewhere slightly behind Rachel never yelling at the camera in her diary room interviews, and even further behind the word “Brigade” never being uttered again on this season. Even though they talked about it briefly, they didn't trust each other enough...it's a shame.

Anyways, on to tonight’s episode, My Random Thoughts:

- What do you think was a more insincere apology from Rachel (and both of these are exact quotes): Option A) "I just want to apologize for, like, heat of the moment, and whatever...", or Option B) "I'm just apologizing for that comment. I'm sorry that you guys take it personally." It's close, huh?
- BRING IT ON...it's not just for cheerleaders anymore. The post-Bring-It-On conversation with Brendon and Rachel made me realize a couple of things. First of all, that Rachel will indeed cry over anything. And secondly, that while we know she is annoying and dramatic, that girl is seriously mentally unstable.

- Brendon was way over the top in his hosting of the Veto contest, and Britney made me laugh when she said "You're a homo sapiens, Brendon. You're not a wizard." Am I wrong, or aren't Wizards people too, which would make them homo sapiens? (please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not a Harry Potter fan.)

- Lane: "You could cut the tension with a machete." Is that really a saying? Maybe only in Texas? Or does Lane think that he can just switch a word to something similar and it's the same thing? How about "Don't count your ducks before they hatch" or "The grass is always greener on the other side of the hedge"?

- Once I saw the Veto competition would be another 'Pick A Prize' contest, I started to get excited for the return of the Unitard! Little did I know that we would get a new incarnation: The Hippie-Tard, which made Kristen look like Monica Seles.













- If 4 of 6 contestants in the very first round scored a "Perfect Shot", then maybe we should reconsider calling it a "Perfect Shot", don't you think?

- I'm sorry, but I have to say that the women Wizard outfits were totally hot. I want one for my girlfriend.

- Rachel: "Ragan is one of my biggest allies in this game." Um...really? Does Ragan know this? I was wondering that before he gave you the $5000 and made you an even bigger target.

- Solitary Confinement seems pretty lame if you can talk through the walls and touch fingers under the door.

- Britney made a smart choice by taking the Veto instead of one of the prizes, and a smarter choice by keeping the nominations the same.

- Kristen joined the ranks of the CRYERS this week. Which I'm fine with, since she used the phrase "threw me under the bus." She'll be gone on Thursday.

For those of you who are enjoying these recaps, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left, and come back for the rest of this season. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Thanks for reading.