May 2, 2009

So, I'm at Brantford the other day, having another enjoyable session at the $5/$10 table, and I'm doing ok, winning some decent pots, having a good time. The table is a good balance of regulars whose game I am very familiar with, and new chasing donkeys who are hemorrhaging chips. Ona dealer switch, one of my favourite dealers, Paul, shows up and with me sitting in seat 1, it seems like a pretty fun table.

Then it happens.

Raise preflop with KhQh, flop the nut flush, and pound the bets, and some donkey calls with Ace-deuce offsuit, and miracles a boat when he hits a deuce. Awesome.

Q7 in the BB, flop J77, bet out and get called by A8, who then goes running Aces to win.

And others...pretty gross.

But what can you do? It's the beautiful irony of limit poker. It's just always a little more frustrating when it's one of your favourite dealers that shows up and cuts your stack in half...like it's a personal act of thievery. Now, you guys that read here that deal and are friends of mine, you all know I'm not a 'dealer blamer'....ever. It's just always a laughable moment when it happens. Damn game.

But the funniest part was when Paul was still dealing, and Man-Hands showed up. Now, let me explain. Man-Hands is this Amazon that plays at Brantford, and I really don't have the patience to write an entire post about all of her idiosyncrasies at the table, like the precision placement of the bet, but she's this gargantuan woman (tall, not fat) that's probably 6'3", maybe about 55 years old, with a ridiculously deep voice, and the HUGEST hands I've ever seen. Seriously, her fingers look like paper towel tubes. So, I see her walking up to the table, and I mention to Paul (quietly), "Uh-oh, here comes Man-Hands", and he goes "Man-Hands? Who's..." and looks and sees her and has to do all he can to hold it in. "Inside Voice!" I told him, he almost blew it!

So, the thing that irks me the most about Man-Hands is how painful it is with her when it's time to show down a hand. It's always a dramatic production of turning over the cards slowly, one at a time, or asking what every one else has first. And we all know how much I just LOVE to be slow rolled (right, Tyler?). When I get to showdown, if someone bets, and I call, I expect them to show first. Period. If I bet and get called, I show my cards immediately, even if it's a bluff and I have nothing.

So I play this pot with Man-Hands, and I'm betting the whole way with pocket fours. On the river, I hope she's on a draw and missed, so I bet again, and she called, and when she calls, I immediately turn my cards face up. She looks at me (not at the cards) and says "What do you have?" I say "What do I have? My cards are right there.", and she proceeds to slow roll middle pair and take the pot. Ignorant. I wanted to punch her right in the Adam's Apple.

Nice Hand Sir.

This is the first in a new series of the $5/$10 regulars I play with at Brantford.

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