Tuesday, September 15, 2009

September 15, 2009

This is the next in my ongoing series of players from the poker room at the Brantford Casino. Today’s featured player is a crazy Romanian woman who has played there for years. I don’t know her name, but she’s in her mid-to-late 40’s, and I’ve played with her dozens of times over the years. She is one of the craziest people I have ever encountered…at a poker table or away from it. Since I don’t know her name, and she’s certifiably insane, she has become referred to as the Insane-ian Romanian, so for this post, I will call her the “The IR”.
One funny thing about The IR is that whatever level she’s playing, she’s always on another list, waiting to play another game. I have generally only played with her at the $5/10 game, and when she invariably loses piles upon piles of chips at the table, she repeatedly exclaims how she doesn’t care because she’s so wealthy, and should be playing at a higher level. This woman plays every hand, and plays top pair as if it’s the nut flush, regardless of what her kicker is, so it’s pretty easy to make a significant amount of money when she is at your table. Often she is there with her daughter as well, who is either roaming the casino floor playing something else, or playing poker at the $2/5 game. If The IR is at your table, and the daughter is in the building, you can count on repeated visits from her to visit her mom and ask for more money.

So, I’m at Brantford a few weeks ago, and I’m playing at the $2/5 table, and The IR is at my table. And apparently having some sort of mid-life crisis, because she now has Kool-Aid shaded pink hair streaks. She’s being her regular angry and belligerent self, yelling at the waitress at one point because she didn’t stir the honey well enough in her tea, and to take it back and bring her another one, “And do it right this time!” I’m serious…this is how she talks to people.

On this one hand, I have King-7 on a seven high flop, and she bets. I raise her, and she 3-bets me, so I just call. She bets the turn, which is a 9, and then when the river is a 3, she bets again, which I call. She proudly turns over 7-3 offsuit and yells “Ha!” when she sees my King-7. She bet all the way with a 3 kicker, gets lucky on the end, and then shoves it in my face as she stacks the $35 dollar pot. I just laughed because this is what she does, and you can’t let it rattle you, especially when she’s nuts.

So, about half an hour later, I have Jack-7 of hearts, and the flop comes Jack-Jack-six. She checks and I bet, a couple of callers in between us and then she calls as well. The turn is a King, and she bets out $5. I raise to $10, everyone folds, and she makes it $15. Could she really have Jack-King? She was in the small blind, and I was in the big blind, so she could have anything. I just called. The river is a 7, so I now have a full house. She bets out, and I say to her, “Do you have Jack-King?” She just shrugs and I say, “I should raise you here, but I just call.” She turns over Jack-six for a flopped full house, and I slam my cards down on the table and yell “POW!” to show my bigger full house. The table erupts in laughter because she had it coming after her “Ha!” suckout earlier.

She goes on and on as I’m stacking the chips, ranting in half-English and half-Romanian, I let her go on and on for a bit before leaning over to her and asking, “So…I guess a date is out of the question, then?” And again, the table had a good laugh., and she wasn't pleased.

The next hand is playing out as this is happening, and the flop was 3 diamonds, ace high. She’s betting the entire way, and on the river, a fourth diamond comes. My friend Norm raises her on the river and she calls, and immediately shows Queen-three of diamonds for a flopped flush. Norm stands up and looks across the table at her cards and then yells “POW!” and slams down the King of diamonds and some other random card, for the only hand that could beat her. We lost it. The guy between us is laughing so hard he’s actually crying.
I know it sounds a tad rude, but it was in response to the way she had been acting and the things she was saying. The IR was over the top, and if anyone deserved Back-To-Back Pows….it was her.


Opal said...

LMAO you are so funny. Her name is Ramona, and that is not her daughter! They just say that, they have known each other for like 15 years, both from Romania. Apparently they met at their "work place" if you get what I mean. I know so much about the players its stupid, I always had an ear open. I'm just shocked that you didn't ever notice the yellow boots she sometimes wears.

Anonymous said...

Really there's nothing sweeter than payback to a player who's literally asking to be beaten, especially when she's as annoying as Insane-ian is. The first POW was sweet. The second POW was just pure pleasure. Have to think up a more inventive dramatic way of POW-ing her for next time. Maybe a styrofoam hammer or POW T-shirt that could also be pointed to, each time another hit happened. Does anyone know how to say "POW" in Romanian? That could be fun too...make it a bilingual POW.