I loved the opening of tonight's episode of Survivor. Coach had his feelings hurt by an innocent comment made by Sandra at Tribal Council in the last episode, and he became the ultimate drama queen.
In a matter of 10 seconds--of TV time--we saw him use the word "ignoble" (which I would consider a candidate for least-used real word in the English language), declare "I'm the man", and then start crying. "Am I that bad of a person?" he asked. Only to people who can't see the good in a pathological liar who compares himself to King Arthur.
But the best part was when Tyson was lending an ear to the Dragon Slayer. I was waiting for the perfect soundbite to come as Tyson would surely explain to the camera what a loser Coach is...but it never came. What did come, however, was just as good.
Tyson: "I can coach you through it if you want. But you may not like what you hear."
Coach (breaking their hug): "Like what?"
Tyson: "Don't wear feathers in your hair at Tribal."
Pause for uncontrollable laughter.
But then Tyson went on with real advice, like not telling his silly stories, since everyone mocks them, or doing his Tai Chi in private...which according to next week's preview, was advice definitely NOT heeded.
As much as Tyson helped good ol' Ex-Coach Wade, it was nothing compared to what Boston Rob did. Some kind words, a fist bump, and a hug, and Coach was reduced to essentially an 'Aw Shucks' girl in the schoolyard who just got a valentine from the popular boy in school. Move over Stephen and J.T., could this be the new Survivor Bromance?
And let's remember that this all was caused by one comment Sandra made, which seemed rather harmless and not that insulting. Could you imagine the meltdown if he heard what they REALLY say about him?
In the most absurd twist to a challenge since Gervaise had a single piece of pizza delivered by helicopter, the tribes were asked to pick their potential reward OUT OF THE SEARS CATALOGUE! This is reality TV set in the jungle? Of course they need a Sear catalogue.
The challenge itself was pretty cool, although rather gratuitous with all the shots of the contestants oiling up. And how come Coach did less posing when he actually won a challenge than last week when he simply thought he had won.
Courtney just looks unhealthy. I love the girl, but it looks like she's going to break apart like peanut brittle at any moment. And apparently her strategy is to sit out as many challenges as possible. I was honestly scared for Danielle in this challenge as I thought she may pop one of her breast implants diving on that gigantic slip-and-slide.
Notice how we didn't see Rob or J.T. in this challenge? With the first team to 4 being declared the winner, the maximum number of rounds would be 7...but there were 8 on each tribe. And Rob and J.T. were both all oiled up like the rest of them. Is there some fishy editing going on here? Hmmmm...
Coach: "Will I continue to ask myself questions and answer them? Yes."
After his brilliance last season, how can Russell be so stupid as to pull out that sheet of paper in front of everyone. He just came off of a season where he found THREE immunity idols, including one on the first day without any clues. Did he not think a clue would pop up at some point? And even dumber was his attempt to 'take a walk' and look for it. The scene where he and Sandra are both skulking and looking down the beach for each other was so anti-climactic, and here's why...
They both have cameras with them! And from the angles that they were each being shot, the camera's were ON THE BEACH. Tough to hide when you have a cameraman shooting you.
Rob's assessment of Russell was so awesome: "Russell's a bonehead. He's like the Hobbit on crack." (More on Rob in a moment.)
Did you notice James face when J.T. read that there was a hidden immunity idol? He just laughed as if to say "Not again." Remember that this is the guy who was voted off while holding TWO immunity idols. TWO!
I love that they re-used the challenge that was stopped last year due to Russell (the other one) nearly dying when he passed out. How awesome was Rob in this challenge? Tom was good, and it was close, but Rob was perfect.
I've had to reconsider my stance that Russell is the greatest player in Survivor history. Watching Boston Rob this season has made me realize (again) that he really is the best of all-time. He is the fantastic at team challenges, individual challenges, team building, and the social game, whether it is to be endearing, or a liar. From knowing what to do when the Immunity Idol hint was given, to knowing how to bring Coach out of his funk...there is never a situation where Rob doesn't know what to do.
There, Teach...I said it...Boston Rob is the best.
I loved when Cirie said that Amanda wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Remember that Amanda outlasted you (twice now!) and has never been voted out...ever.
James: "The social game is a distraction. James don't do that stuff." I love that James went all Rickey Henderson, talking about himself in the third person, but this idiotic statement is why James always gets burned, and has to go back to grave-digging. (look it up)
J.T. switching his vote to Cirie was a smart move. As he recognized early, he needs Tom if he wants a chance at winning. Next week should be interesting to see the fallout at camp. And why was Rupert shaking his head at the result? Wasn't he just telling Jeff that he was reluctantly voting based on his word rather that what he should be doing to keep the tribe strong? And then this vote happens which keeps the tribe stronger, and he's pissed? Come on, Rupert.
Next week: Dragon Slayer leads team Tai Chi, and more medical drama!
Just a quick note to remind you to head over to EW.com and read Dalton Ross's recap, as well as Jeff Probst's blog. Both are always exceptionally entertaining.