March 1, 2010

Fake Poker, Fake Polo, And Another Useless Gnome

This week's episode of The Amazing Race found our teams once again racing around South America. Who was eliminated this week, and how did it all go down? Let's find out.

I always have a problem with the Travelocity sponsored episode each season. At one point, the gnomes actually served a purpose, and racers had to search for a specific gnome and bring it to the finish line for a reason. Now it's just a blatant product placement that serves absolutely no purpose. I say to the producers loudly...LOSE THE GNOME!

Prior to the first appearance of our pointy-headed midget friend in this episode, we learned that Brent and Caite were sick, possibly from food poisoning. Their ensuing trip to the hospital caused them to miss their departure time by over 3 hours, which is something I can't recall every seeing on this show before. I remember a team oversleeping and missing their departure, but never an ailment causing a knowing delay. And I have to say, were the shots of Caite getting the IV necessary? For someone who is needle-phobic like I am, it's bad enough that I have to turn away in movies and other TV shows, but now The Amazing Race, too?

'We want our kids to know that their moms are makin' it happen." Woo-hoo...after a week off, the catchy mom-phrases are back!

The Handlebar Brothers (I'm actually considering starting to call them Mario and Luigi) certainly are dramatic. At one point in the show, they TWICE declared, "Let's Do This!" You would assume that this was at one of the challenges, but no...and I'm not making this up...it was as they were getting on the bus. Seriously.

Ok, this first bit where they had to "beat the gnome" by playing Five Card Stud was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. First of all, dealing all five cards face up on the table is NOT Five Card Stud. (In Five Card Stud, the first card is dealt face down, and the other four are face up) Second, it's not really "beating" the gnome when it's just a random draw like that. All this boiled down to was a drawn-out, convoluted way to flip a coin. And since when do you get to keep your opponent in poker if you beat them? This whole thing was just way too absurd.

The Lobster Lesbians had an issue with the roping challenge being unfair since Jet and Cord are cowboys? Do you think Jet and Cord will have the same issue later in the race if there is a challenge to get your hair cut really short and buy a Joan Armatrading album?

Joe, the self-professed "confrontational one" showed that he is indeed not "the smart one" with these two pearls of wisdom. First, when he approached the gunslinger on the railroad tracks, he asked, "Are you the gunslinger?" Listen Joe, when you're looking for a gunslinger, and you see a guy spinning guns around and actually tossing guns over his shoulders and catching them...in short, actually 'slinging' them...that's the gunslinger! "

Second, he decided to tell Heidi to disregard the instruction to count the paces on the map since he had a compass. "You don't need to count the steps. The steps is if somebody doesn't have a compass." I can't even get my head around the logic he is using for this statement, and it's made doubly bad by his grammatical butchering of the sentence. ("The steps is if?") How does this argument make any sense? Is his snazzy compass watch also a pedometer?

The Polo challenge was just stupid. Fake wooden horses? This is turning out to be a pretty lame season so far in terms of challenges.
Steve and Allie are still being edited as if they aren't even on the race. (Are they really in second place?) What did we see from them in this episode other than Steve wiping out when running? I loved Allie's astute observation after watching her Dad take a massive spill. "You just totally fell", she said.

I'm seriously getting dumber just watching this show.

And this brings me back to the damn Gnome. When Steve wiped out, he was running full speed and carrying the Gnome. So now, it's not only useless, it's also dangerous! I have no idea how Steve didn't impale himself on that little bastard's pointy red hat, but thank god he didn't, or the Cleveland Indians would be short one base coach.

Caite complaining that Brent is bad with directions and that she should be the one reading the map and giving directions was just too delicious to not post this clip again. Maybe if Caite was giving directions, they would have ended up in The Iraq.

I love when contestants pray to complete a task or win a challenge. It's so absurd...like Jesus is looking down saying "Ok Christian Lawyer Moms, I will help you with this lasso challenge, but you're on your own for the Polo one."

But alas, Jesus's intervention was not enough to save the Lawyer Mom's, and thus they were...wait for it...Eli-mom-nated.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

And one note on the Cowboy Brothers, who initially came off as a couple of country bumpkins. I'm realizing just how smart they are, and that they are the team to beat this season. When they came in first, and Phil told them that they had won a trip to Patagonia, their response was "Yeah! We're coming back here!" That's right, the Cowboys know where Patagonia is. Could you imagine if The Handlebar Brothers, or Jeff and Jordan, or Brent and Caite would have been told that? Look out for Jet and Cord, belt buckles and all.

Next Week: Upside-Down Team Bungee Jumping in Germany. Now THAT'S more like it!