March, 21, 2010

This week's episode of The Amazing Race was entitled "Cathy Drone", which you will understand if you saw the episode, but if I were naming the episodes on this show, I would have gone with Dumb and Dumber Get Dumber and Dumberer. (It makes sense if you can wrap your head around the grammatical incorrect-ness)

So we're back to watching every team rip open their clues at the Pit Stop again? Yawn. I thought last week was a sign of things to come, but alas, it's the same old same old again this week. Perhaps it was just a way to watch every team butcher the word 'Riems." And Jeff, do you seriously have to say "Let's Dance!" every time you start off a leg or a challenge? I would love to see the irony of them actually having to dance...and him not saying it.

We're learning more about the Handlebar Brothers every week (and stop emailing me, I know they're not actually brothers), especially how their jobs help them in the race. We heard more of that this week as they explained that "staying up late and driving all hours of the day" (isn't that a Kiss song?) would come easy to them since they're used to it, and that they are "professional car followers." Seriously...Rhode Island sounds more awesome every week.

When I saw that the challenge had to do with Champagne, I thought "Oh great, another alcohol-related challenge", but it actually ended up being pretty cool for once this season. I mean, as far as interesting challenges go, I'll take rapelling into a cave under a building, searching the cellar, and sabering a bottle over finding eggs in a chicken coop. It was all very Indiana Jones, wasn't it?

The only thing that was kind of alarming was that when the teams were being lowered into the opening, they were being lowered by this weird Grizzly Adams-esque character who was sitting on the edge, and lowering you down before riding down with you. But as he was sitting there and lowering you through this tiny opening to go down the shaft to the cellar, he had to lower you so that your face was only inches away from his crotch!
I got called out in the Comments section last week for not mentioning Jordan's innuendo-laced statement that he "likes swords", so I'll make sure to point out the deliciousness of him actually getting to use a sword this week as he sabered the champagne. Although with regards to the sabering, he did say that he was excited that "we get to cut it." Because obviously Jordan really enjoys things that are cut. (Oh SNAP...I went there...yes I did!)

Not one but TWO teams got Joan of Arc and Noah's Ark confused. Want to guess which two?

Now aside from still calling each other "baby" all the time, Louie and Michael have also worked in "monkey" to their pet name repertoire? These two make me more and more uncomfortable every episode. They remind me of these two from Saturday Night Live.

Although I do give credit to Louie for praying to St. Anthony to help them on the Race. Clearly St. Anthony is one of the "less-busy" deities to pray to...or maybe just the patron saint of finding grapes?

Caite and Brent sure got along well this episode, didn't they? Model tantrums! Woo-hoo! The beautiful are petty, too! I loved how Brent asked her the innocent question of if she wanted to ask someone for directions, and she poutily said no. Brent, why are you even asking? Just do it. And Caite, why are you saying no? You two need a scorecard for your points against each other.

Did you notice that Jet and Cord went to the wrong city TWICE in one episode, and still stayed completely calm and composed? Whereas Carol and Brandi kept referring to everything as "insane" and "the worst ever". Cowboys = cool. Lesbians = drama queens. (not all cowboys and not all lesbians...just these specific ones.)

During the grape Detour, Michael mad an alarming statement when he spotted the correct bundle of grapes, and labelled himself "Eagle Eyes." He said...and this is verbatim..."if I can find crack in someone's rear end, I can find some grapes in a grapeyard." First of all, let's ignore the word "grapeyard", and focus on hwo troubling this statement is...from an imagery standpoint, and from logic.

I'm no detective, but I have to think that if you're finding crack in someone's rear end, you're sure as hell looking for it instead of just stumbling across it, so "Eagle Eyes" probably isn't the most appropriate nickname. And unlike looking through a square kilometre of grape vines, looking for crack in someone's rear end is a pretty isolated search, isn't it? It's not a wide search area, is it? It's pretty much...just the rear end, right? I don't think that a full-on grid search is necessary. Just when I think these two can't make me more uncomfortable...they do.

Brent and Caite showed up at the Put Stop Mat for the THIRD time in this race without completing all the tasks. Remember once again that their focus is Details. Dumbest team ever. And to vent her anger, Caite declared that she hated the "stupid lesbians." Stay classy.

(actual conversation between my son and I when we saw the mime at the Pit Stop)
Lucas: Dad, that guy looks like the Joker.
Sean: Only scarier.
Brent and Caite failing at the champagne tower was anti-climactic, since they showed it on the preview last week, but it did allow for Brent to actually come up with the only entertaining line he has produced since the show began. "We probably would have found the grapes by now, but I would have had my ear chewed off for an hour and twenty minutes."

And in their interview at the end, when Caite was getting all Valley-Girl-Whatever and talking about how she wanted to win the race...did you see Brent's face? He honestly looked like he wanted to shoot his own head off.

So Jeff and Jordan got eliminated, thus making the Race 16% smarter for next week's episode. They didn't seem fazed, but would you be considering Jordan won $500K on Big Brother last year?