Survivor One World Recap: “Roosters, Chickens, And A Massive Ass Storm”

Tonight is the third episode of Survivor One World, and if the first two weeks are any indication on the way this is going to progress, we can expect to see Manono dominate once again, and send another Salani member packing. Will the women be able to come together? Has Jeff ditched the Green shirts? And why is everyone talking about poultry?

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor: The Men have won everything so far. Matt and his muscle alliance are running the show, but Colton has the Immunity Idol and has formed his own alliance. The women think Kat is an idiot, and a liability, but still voted Nina out.

- Night Vision recap: Alicia tells Kat not to cry at Tribal Council, and Chelsea thinks she’s weak. In the dark, Colton and Jonas sidle up to Kim and Chelsea and invite them over to their side because “There’s a massive ass storm coming in.” To their credit, the women refuse, saying that they’ll be fine, and tough it out. But sure enough, they can’t sleep, and end up huddling together for warmth in the darkness and rain.

- The morning after the massive ass storm (Acronym: MAMAS), Chelsea was begging Troyzan for the use of the fire to dry off, even though her thigh-high yellow socks/stockings looked pretty warm (although I’m sure they were drenched.) Kim pointed out that while the night before, pride prevented the women from joining the men around the fire, now that they are freezing their ass off, they have no shame.

- At the Reward challenge (still in the rain), Jeff Probst was wearing a powder blue shirt, hopefully ditching the new green shirt from last week’s episode and going back to blue full-time. I tweeted at Jeff (@Jeffprobst) during last week’s episode, asking what’s with the green shirt, and he tweeted back at me that he was just “keeping me honest.” Touche, Probst.

- But on to the Reward challenge, which was a head-to-head memory test, where the first team to win five duels would be declared the winner. The items to be memorized would be displayed behind a curtain to both of the participants, and either of them could drop the curtain at any time, which would drop it on both. I give major credit to the crew that lays out the challenges. This was a well thought-out, well executed challenge.

The prize would be a full set of fishing gear, including a canoe and paddles, which is an absolutely HUGE prize to win at this stage of the game. The head-to-head matchups went as follows:

Sabrina vs. Matt: Matt was done first, but his answer was wrong. Sabrina’s was right. 1-0 Salani.
Colton vs. Monica: Colton dropped the curtain almost immediately and scurried back to give his answer, but he was wrong. Monica was right. 2-0 Salani.
Alicia vs. Jay: Alicia dropped the curtain, and looked troubled as she gave her answer first. She was correct. 3-0 Salani.
Kat vs. Troyzan: Troyzan dropped the curtain immediately, presumably just so Kat can’t see the order. That made absolutely no sense to me. Why would you prevent yourself from seeing it as well? I suppose it may be a smart strategy if you were head-to-head with some sort of Rain Man-esque genius with a photographic memory…but we’re talking about Kat. Blue Shirt Jeff astutely points out that “the men continue to be pathetic in this challenge,” and after six (6!) more attempts, accompanied by crazy hillbilly music, Kat finally gets the correct answer. 4-0 Salani.
Christina vs. Bill: Anti-climactic. Christina gets it, and the women sweep the men 5-0.

As Jeff is awarding the women the fishing gear, he reminds them about the boat back at camp, and the fact that they do not need to share it with Manono. Of course not, but since stealing has become the norm on this show, what is going to prevent Manono from just taking it out whenever they want? Is there a combination lock that secures it to a tree back at camp?

Jeff throws a final barb at Manono as they are leaving, telling them “the women now know they can beat you at something.” To be fair, at this point in the game, the men still had 9 members, the women had 7 members, and all they had beaten them at was a game of concentration. His words didn’t sting just yet…

- Back at camp, the rain continued, we saw more bats, and Salani returned to find their boat. They celebrated by jumping and dancing on the beach, shouting “We got a boat!”, which made me hope that they would just take it out on the water and this would happen

Chelsea worked on fixing the shelter, which entailed stacking rocks up to make a wall. Kat and Monica tried to work on starting a fire, but when they weren’t able to get it going, they decided to turn to Manono: “Why don’t we just go over there and ask for an ember?” I had to laugh at that, because after proclaiming themselves as tough during the storm, and refusing help, now Salani was turning to Manono to help them.

So Monica and Kat asked the men, and they suggested that it would be a fair trade to swap an ember for use of the boat. The women were reluctant, and Matt was visibly annoyed at the handouts the men are dishing out to the women. Colton is also pissed off, and calls back upon his lessons at the Coach Wade School Of Pre-Planned Confessional Soundbites, stating “I’m a Republican…I do not believe in handouts.”

- Chelsea was showing off her waterlogged hands, which looked like white gloves (a la Super Mario), and then Alicia and Chelsea just strolled over to the Manono shelter, walked in and sidled on up to the fire. This was pretty telling because it showed that after Manono decided to help Salani twice (offering to let them dry off by the fire, and sharing an ember), now they apparently felt entitled to it, and are no longer asking.

The men re-iterated the boat-for-fire trade, and Alicia nixed it right away, saying that they can’t use the boat. Sorry, let me re-phrase that: Alicia said that the men can’t use their boat WHILE SHE’S STANDING IN THEIR SHELTER WARMING UP AFTER THEY GAVE HER TRIBE FIRE.

Even though she backed off her hardline stance and said she would have to talk to the rest of the tribe, the line in the sand was drawn, and Manono made it clear that there would be no more deals, and no more charity, because “One World is out the window.”

The women came across as very spoiled and entitled in this segment, and more so when Kat and Monica said that they didn’t make a deal with them either, and Chelsea saying that she was upset that they bombarded her with barter talk when she was just trying to warm up.

- The next day, after the Massive Ass Storm, the sun was out, and Monica, Kim, and Chelsea decided to take their new boat out and do some fishing. Cue the underwater fishing shots made famous by Ozzy last season, and after spearing three small fish, they returned to shore to share the catch of the day with the rest of their Tribe.

- Good thing they built up their strength with some seafood, because the Immunity Challenge was next. It was an obstacle course where each Tribe would have one caller, and 3 pairs, tied together and blindfolded. The caller would have to direct the pairs through the obstacle course to a series of points where they would have to pull a string to release a vat of coloured water, and retrieve a bag of wet puzzle pieces. Once all five bags are returned to the start, then the caller has to solve the puzzle.

The men teamed up Troyzan and Tarzan in the most predictable pairing ever, and jumped out to an early lead. Sabrina was the caller for Salani, and Bill was the caller for Manono. On the obstacle course portion of the Challenge, the men dominated, getting all five bags while the women only gathered two, despite the fact that Bill just seemed to want to awkwardly yell out “Reacharound!” as many times as possible.

But once the puzzle portion started, Bill struggled, even though his teammates were helping him solve the puzzle by telling him where to put the pieces (except for Leif, who appeared to just be looking at his shoes.) Here’s my question: why even specify that the caller has to be the one to solve the puzzle, if the others can help? This was just like the Ozzy vs. Coach puzzle last season, when Ozzy and Coach were just doing what their tribes were yelling at them.

Despite a gigantic lead, Bill is clearly no Puzzle Master David Murphy, and the women roared back to solve the puzzle first and win immunity.

- Back at camp, the women are understandably happy, and as the men trudge their way unhappily back to camp, Chelsea points out that “they’re all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, not knowing what to do.” Conclusion: Chelsea really loves Chickens.

- Manono tried to tell Bill he did a great job, but it was obvious lip service. Nobody was more upset than Colton, who said he was excited to vote someone out. He expressed how he was angry at Bill for constantly saying “yo” and “bro”, then channeled his inner NaOnka with two reprehensible comments directed at Bill: “Shut Up. Go Kill Yourself.” And “You’re Ghetto Trash.” Anyone who has any respect for Colton after those comments needs a long hard look at themselves in the mirror.

- NaOnka 2.0 decided to talk to his misfit crew, saying that he wanted Bill voted out because “he is too wishy washy.” Greg tries to use some logic, suggesting they stick with the plan to vote out Matt, but Colton is set on Bill.

Jay then strolls in, and everyone clams up. Greg says “we’re not voting you out, so don’t worry”, and asks if he wants to join them. Jay clearly understands basic math, and identifies that it would be Survivor Suicide to not join with the numbers.

Then Matt walks up, and everyone got quiet again. He bluntly asked them “Is my presence destroying the strategy talk?” and before he is even finished asking, Colton answers “Noooooo!” like it’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard…and Greg honestly tells him “Yes it is, at the moment.” The look on Colton’s face was priceless: I’m so busted.

- Matt left them to talk strategy, but later talked to Troy, trying to set up a sub-alliance that was the worst argument I may have ever heard on this show: “All of us are roosters, right? And we don’t want any other roosters around. I just want a bunch of chickens with me, so I’ll be the only rooster.”

Are you trying to tell me that the best argument to give is to try and get all of the Alpha Males (the roosters, presumably) together in one place? That’s just idiotic. Troy smiled and listened, and made him believe he thought it was a decent idea, but there was no way he would go along with it. “It ain’t Survivor unless you’re lyin’ ” Troyzan told us.

Troy returned to the Land of the Misfits, and pitched Matt as the target instead of Bill. Colton was still reluctant, but listen to his reasoning…and I’ll remind you that this is HIS OWN LOGIC. He wants to get rid of Bill because “he’s annoying, and I hate him, and I hate his voice, and I can’t stand to listen to him talk.” Matt, on the other hand, is “like the head of the snake, and you’ve got to chop off the head of the snake, for the rest of it to stop…ruh…whatever…wiggling.”

Listening to that logic, I now fully believe what he told the women last week, that he doesn’t care at all about the game.

- So Manono was off to their first Tribal Council, which began with Colton preening like a peacock and bragging that he wasn’t going home, because he had an Idol and was going to play it.

Bill was jacked up like just walked out of a Jamaican hotbox; Greg talked about how smart Colton was, and needing him on the Tribe; Mike talked about Colton and said “we didn’t know which way he was going”, which may have been the first time that was ever said about Colton. Matt wasn’t buying any of it and started telling Greg that he was ‘talking turkey.’ (OK, what’s with all the poultry comparisons this week: first Chelsea with the chickens, then Matt with the Roosters and Chickens, and now a Turkey?)

When it came time to vote, Colton didn’t use his Immunity Idol, but did use his “gay stereotype of the week” comment when voting, as he told Matt “you pissed off the wrong Queen.” Who is the right Queen?

Matt was voted out, and after Probst snuffed his torch, and Manono was heading back to camp, Greg asked if they could hear the two unseen votes. Probst dismissively scoffed at the question, saying no, and then Colton followed up with a mind-numbingly idiotic statement: “Save those questions for me.”

Colton is rapidly becoming one of the most annoying characters in the history of this show. Not because he’s gay…not because he’s effeminate…just because he’s a douchebag.

Next Week: Drama Within The Manono Tribe.

A quick note about the next two episodes/recaps. Next week’s episode falls on my birthday (March 7), and as of now, there are no concrete plans for anything that would keep me away from home and recapping as normal. But if that changes, I will post something saying that the recap will be delayed. The following week (March 14), I will be away on vacation, and unable to watch the show. I will get a recap up once I return on March 20th.

Survivor Fans, please feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including from some of the castaways themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

Thanks for reading.

Survivor One World Recap: February 29, 2012

Tonight is the third episode of Survivor One World, and if the first two weeks are any indication on the way this is going to progress, we can expect to see Manono dominate once again, and send another Salani member packing. Will the women be able to come together? Has Jeff ditched the Green shirts? And can Kat recover from last week's Tribal Council?

My recap will be up by 10:00 pm ET. Please make sure to check back.

Amazing Race Recap: “You Know I’m Not As Smart As You”

The remaining ten teams continued their adventure through Argentina this week, traveling to Buenos Aires on the next leg of The Amazing Race. Which team is working with a donkey? Who’s really good at Lego? And why are there never any tears when Rachel “cries” ?

My Random Thoughts:

- From the Pit Stop in Salta (Fun Fact: home of the world’s highest vineyards), teams had to drive to the Cafayate town square, and wait for the Chasqui to deliver next clue. I was worried, because “waiting for the Chasqui” sounds like something that involves a doctor and a foreign hospital, but thankfully it was just the mountain postman.

This was the equalizer for this leg of the race, as the Chasqui wouldn’t arrive until after the sunrise at 6:35 am, so any lead was lost. And with almost 3 hours separating all the teams, that could have been a pretty significant lead.

Here’s something interesting that I noticed, though. The interval between the 9th place team and the Guidos in last place, was only 6 minutes…which means that Misa and Maiya, who missed the Pit Stop last week, had to have been within that six-minute window. Three teams within six minutes on the very first leg? Talk about a tight finish.

- As the teams were all gathered in the town square waiting for the Chasqui, we learned a bit more about the teams: Team Army doesn’t want to use the Express Pass if possible, Team Feds lied about their jobs and everyone thinks they’re kindergarten teachers, Vanessa likes to talk to dogs, and Mark and Bopper’s attitude is “we ain't in no hurry to get to first.”

Bad Rachel said that “this game is super different than Big Brother”, which made me laugh because OF COURSE it’s different, you moron! You can’t just sit around in a hammock all day calling people names like you did on Big Brother. Plus, this show isn’t rigged for you to win like last season’s BB13 was. At least I hope it’s not…I stopped recapping Big Brother because of that, and I don’t want to stop recapping The Amazing Race.

I did, however, laugh at Art and JJ’s comment about Brendon, saying that he’s nothing but a sheep that follows what everyone else does: “He’s a UCLA student. What do you expect?” At that point, I really wanted someone to show him a video clip of what Brendon said last week about being half-Mexican and hating Border Agents.

We then learned that Mr. Clown had two separate bouts with Hodgkins, and has beaten it…and been cancer-free since 2001. That is great to hear, as was Mrs. Clown’s comment “if we can beat cancer twice, I’m pretty sure we can win the race.” Although, it’s a TAR tradition that once you learn the heartwarming human backstory on a team, it’s generally the night you say goodbye to them. Remember last season when Kaylani was talking about her daughter, and being a single mom? I wasn’t optimistic for Team Circus.

- When the Chasqui arrived, the teams swarmed him like pre-teen girls at a Justin Bieber mall-sighting, and all found out that they now had to face a Detour. The choice was between Boil My Water, which would see them building a solar kitchen, and Light My Fire, which involved gathering wood and clay, and walking a mile with a donkey to deliver it.

- Most of the teams went for Boil My Water, and they soon discovered that the only instructions they had to build this solar kitchen, were in picture form on the side of the box. So, under the watchful eyes of llamas, birds, cats, and a dog with a Mohawk, they set out to try and build their respective solar kitchens, which would eventually have to be functional enough to boil a kettle of water.

The clowns didn’t even notice the picture, Bad Rachel started her self-pity party complaining that she wasn’t good at it because “I’m just a girl”, one of the Guidos cut himself, and Team Badonkadonk offered a helping hand.

Did you notice the awkward swearing on this Detour? Within about ten seconds, we heard three different teams express their frustration as follows: “Oh Sh….shnikeys”, “Son of a monkey’s uncle”, and “This is hotter than…shenanigans.” It was like watching The Sopranos on A&E with all of the swearing edited.

Mark and Bopper breezed through the Detour, mostly due to Mark’s affinity for doing Lego with his son. And if you’ve ever done Lego kits with your kids, you’ll know what he means, because that was a perfect analogy. One booklet, all pictures…no words.

- Art and JJ were the only team to choose Light My Fire, and after getting lost on the way, and running into the teams at the other Detour, I was thinking that they were screwed. If you’re removing yourself from the rest of the pack, starting later than everyone else, and working on a task in which you have to walk a mile…it’s not a good idea.

They kept insisting that they could make up time, because as Art said to JJ: “I told you boiling water’s a pain in the ass in a solar oven.” The funny thing is that he said it in a way that came across like he was trying to say “I’ve told you this a MILLION times.”

The funnier thing is that the way he phrased it made it sound like “pain in the ass in a solar oven” is a figure of speech. If he said “Boiling water in a solar oven is a pain in the ass”…that’s one thing, but “boiling water’s a pain in the ass in a solar oven” is something else entirely.

- With Mark’s Lego prowess, Team Kentucky finished first, and Team Border Patrol made up the time like they promised and finished second. All the teams now had to go to the Salta Bus Terminal and take an 18-hour bus ride to Buenos Aires.

There were three buses that left with the teams, but there was no indication how much time was between each of the departures. The first bus carried Team Kentucky, Team Army, Team Border Patrol, and Team Reality Whores. The second bus had Team Guidos, Team Circus, Team Twins, and Team Divorce. The final bus had Team Badonkadonk (the cousins), and Team Fake Teachers.

But after a window exploded on the bus, with glass shattering inside, the second bus was delayed for over two hours, and the third bus passed them while they were stranded. They tried to fix it with duct tape and cardboard, but after seeing the footage of the curtains flapping later in the trip, it looks like they just carried on as it was after they cleaned the glass up.

- In Buenos Aires, teams were face with a Road Block that asked Where’s The Beef? Once they decided who would be participating, they had to enter the Cattle Auction Market, and based on the information given to them, they had to calculate the average weight of the cows in the pen. Then, they had to “run to the waiting Gaucho and give him your answer.”

To anyone with half a brain, this was simple arithmetic, but the producers decided that to fully and comprehensively illustrate the task, they needed to give us a graphic. The graphic showed “Total Weight” divided by “# of cows” would equal “Average.” But the best part was that the “# of cows” was illustrated by a pyramid of cows, as if they were cheerleaders stacked on top of each other.

- Bad Rachel started complaining about 4 seconds after volunteering to do it. After learning that she couldn’t use a calculator, she cried out “Oh No!” and started her pre-emptive complaining. “I don’t know anything about cows”, she whined to Brendon. Well, the challenge is about MATH…not cows. Didn’t this woman once claim to be a scientist? And now she’s saying that she can’t grasp long division?

And just in case you weren’t sold on the fact that Bad Rachel is a moron, after her whining about cow poo and math, she then dropped this bomb: “I don’t know anything about cows except that they taste good in steak.” It’s not an ingredient in the steak, you idiot…it IS the steak.

JJ and Good Rachel worked together to get the correct answer, and their clue told them to take a taxi to the next Pit Stop, which was at El Gomero, a 200-year-old rubber tree in Buenos Aires.

- Bad Rachel continued to be stressed out, complaining that “Brendon hates my guts right now.” Mark, for some reason, jumped IN with the cattle, and then was calling out to the “Groucho” to give his answer, which was wrong because he wasn’t rounding up.

Then, for some reason, Mark decided to work with Bad Rachel, even though she brought nothing to this temporary partnership, and all he was essentially doing was giving her the answer once he figured it out. None of that team-up made any sense for Team Kentucky.

- After the Road Block, Bad Rachel, of course, had one of her classic meltdowns, throwing out as much drama as possible for Brendon to deal with. Those of you who watched her on Big Brother will recognize this as one of her wonderful traits, and you will also recall her maddening habit of “crying” without actually crying.

Well, we saw that again tonight after the road Block, when she melted down and dropped the drama once again, crying that she wasn’t as smart as Brendon, and that she can’t handle things under pressure. But if you watch that scene, you’ll notice that it’s just the same whiny fake crying, as if she were a toddler testing her parents to see how much she can get away with.

And just like on Big Brother, Brendon has to now put all of his energy into trying to calm her down and apologizing to her for the next hour. Her response to his supportive measures was to tell him “you have a booger on your nose.” Talk about dysfunctional.

- At the Pit Stop, Phil was standing with a Diego Maradona impersonator…and for the record, it was a Fat Maradona impersonator, not a Hand of God Maradona impersonator. (Kind of like Old Elvis and Fat Vegas Elvis, you know?) Team Army was first to the mat, and won a trip to Grenada for winning the leg. Team Border Patrol was close behind, making the United States military and Border Service Agency equally proud.

- Back at the Road Block, the final three teams were The Guidos, The Twins, and The Clowns. My initial suspicion about the Clowns was confirmed when one of the Guidos said to one of the Brothers, “Yo, we can beat the clown. He said he’s terrible in math.” And sure enough, they teamed up to get the answer first and head off to the Pit Stop.

- Yes, The Clowns finished last, and with one final red-nosed step on the mat, Phil told them that they were eliminated from the Race. I thought their story was nice, but I was honestly turned off by the walk-off scene, with the circus music, sped up like a silent film, and with that campy fake trip. Why make them a heartwarming cancer-survivor story if you’re going to clown it up at the end?

Next Week: Harp Stringing, More Watermelons, And Rachel Brings The Bitchy.

Amazing Race fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including many from some of the Racers themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

And if you’re a Survivor fan, be sure to check back on Wednesday nights for weekly recaps on Survivor One World.

Thanks for reading.

(Photo Credits: CBS, Reality Fan Forum)

Amazing Race Recap, February 26, 2012

The remaining ten teams continued their adventure through Argentina this week, traveling to Buenos Aires on the next leg of The Amazing Race. Which team is having trouble with a donkey? Who’s really good at Lego? And why are there never any tears when Rachel “cries” ?

Make sure to check back for my full recap, which should be up by 9:00 pm ET. (Canadian TAR fans please note that it is on at 7:00 pm ET because of the Academy Awards.

Survivor One World Recap: “We Are In A Tribe Of The Witless”

Before I get to this week’s episode, I want to touch on a couple of things from last week’s Season Premiere. Overall, I enjoyed the premiere, despite the anti-climactic (and predictable) ending with no Tribal Council vote, and I think this cast should give us a pretty entertaining season. I said that I was a fan of the “men vs women on the same beach” idea, because I thought it would be a fresh and interesting dynamic…and it certainly was, with stealing on both sides, and some early drama.

But what I didn’t expect, was a clear “Battle of the Sexes” in the fan base as well. I’ve been reading a number of message boards and forums, and it has been pretty cut and dry with the male and female fans getting rather aggressive with each other. I expected it from the players, but I suppose human nature has made a large number of fans gravitate to their respective sides based on gender.

The one thing that I heard a lot of from last week’s episode, was that after Kourtney was injured, the challenge should have continued. I read (and heard) a number of people say that either a) the men should have just sat someone out, b) the women should have had one member go twice, or c) that the challenge should have re-started.

All of those ideas (primarily suggested by female viewers who had vocalized their support of the Salani Tribe) are absolutely absurd in my opinion. Why on Earth would the rules for a challenge be changed simply because “your favourite team” was at a disadvantage? Manono won fair and square, since Salani—as a team—were unable to complete the challenge.

Now, on to this week’s episode, which finds the Salani and Manono Tribes adjusting to life together on the beach. Can the women get it together and stop their infighting? Will another Idol be found? And who's got gas?

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor: Troyzan wants to be the Greatest of All Time, Colton is unhappy on his Tribe, Sabrina found an Idol and gave it to Colton, Kourtney broke her wrist, and Jeff told the women they need to get along better. I’m pleased that there wasn’t a blatant “here’s what you need to know for tonight’s episode” sort of foreshadowing like we’ve seen for the last two seasons. Hopefully that’s a trend that will continue.

- Night Vision Recap: Manono told Salani they took care of the fire, and Kat said that she could have done it without them. Rather ungrateful don’t you think? Well, the actual quote from Kat was as follows: “Mind you, I am the fire person, and if they weren’t there, when I got back I probably would have set it…I would have been able to got it…WHOA!” (and then she got spooked by a bug flying by.)

Christina and Alicia had a heart to heart chat after attacking each other at Tribal Council. Alicia thinks Christina is rude, and Christina thinks that Alicia is disrespectful. Alicia did a lame attempt at a Sue Hawk impression by telling us “if I saw her swimming in an ocean and she was drowning, I’d probably look the other way.” In the end, though, they hugged and both said everything was fine, which neither of them believed.

Alicia then offered this nugget: “Nina looks like a bag of rocks, and I don’t even know what that analogy means.” No, Alicia…you certainly don’t.

- The next morning, Sabrina tried for a team building chat to set some ground rules, and before she knew it, this makeshift town hall meeting had seen her elected leader of the Tribe. She reluctantly accepted, saying truthfully that “managing the airheads is going to be exhausting.”

She quickly identified 3 areas that needed attention: Water, Food, and Shelter. Monica was on Water Duty, and Kat and Alicia were put on Food. As Sabrina was explaining to them, Kat piped up with a glorious piece of wisdom, saying, “I don’t want to observe the land. I want to get stuff.” Apparently not as bad as she wanted to go for a swim, though…as she and Alicia went in the water instead of searching for food.

- Tree Mail was a couple of wooden boxes and a letter that instructed the castaways to assemble both tribes in a neutral clearing. This was to be our first Do-It Yourself challenge of the season, which I had been looking forward to.

Bill read the instructions (in a fake British accent for some reason), which were simple: the first Tribe to untie all of the rope knots and free a ring from the center would win a tarp. Both teams would be able to keep their box and ropes, so that was kind of like a win already for each team.

Colton and his “jazz fingers” started everyone off with a dramatic “Survivors Ready…Set..Go!” which aggravated me because he was obviously trying to impersonate the Dimple-Tastic Jeff Probst, and any Survivor purist knows that it’s just “Survivors Ready…Go!” (there’s no “set”)

Go ahead, laugh at me if you must, but I know there’s a huge portion of the audience out there that thought the exact same thing.

- The Men won the challenge, Jonas spiked the ring into the ground, Mike lifted Leif, and Sabrina expressed her disappointment over losing by saying “We needed a tarp like a fat kid needs cake.”

OK, that’s a terrible analogy. The last thing a fat kid NEEDS is more cake, Sabrina! The fat kid may WANT the cake, but he sure as hell doesn’t NEED the cake. Someone needs to talk to this cast about making analogies.

- Back at camp, then men got all Bob the Builder with their new supplies, and Colton decided to sit, stretch, swing, and go visit the women. Not only was he not being helpful, but he was clearly being standoffish, and having a major attitude around camp. Jonas identified it, and saw that he was trying to make inroads with the Salani Tribe (last season’s cast would use the phrase “curry favor” here), and compared him to everyone’s favorite sock-burning Hobbit, saying “he’s making Russell look like a freakin’ little schoolgirl.”

Really??? How many terrible analogies can we have in one episode??

- But Johnny Sea Foam didn’t just stop at visiting the women, he was now helping them build their shelter, and trying to stay at their camp the whole time. It didn’t take long for the women to tell him bluntly that he wasn’t welcome at their camp. He left briefly, but returned shortly with a tearful plea for them:

“I don’t care about the game. I don’t care about strategy. Y’all can all call BS. This is what I’m saying. I literally feel like I have no one on this island. Not one person.” That may be so, Colton…but you can’t expect the other people to not care about the game or strategy so that you can feel good about yourself.

Kim spoke for the Tribe, telling him bluntly once again that they were two separate Tribes, and he is on the other Tribe. She correctly told him that it would be a dumb move on their part to let him stay.

Some people will make the comparison to Cochran from last season, being ostracized from the rest of his Tribe, and finding solace in the opposing Tribe, but this is different. Cochran was made to feel like an outcast by the rest of his Tribe (including that Cheatin’ Whitney!), where Colton is ostracizing himself from the Manono Tribe. This is a self-imposed exile.

- Seriously, what’s with all the bats? I was joking when I made The Dark Knight Rises comment last week, but now I’m starting to wonder.

- Why were my eyes subjected to having to watch Greg/Tarzan in a speedo? I was longing for the return of Philip’s droopy pink briefs after seeing that. And what made it worse was the odd campfire dance he was doing at night, carrying a spear and doing pelvic thrusts? Did he hit himself in the face? Is that how this happened?

But the better night show was Colton, as he showed the Idol to Troyzan, Leif, and Jonas, who all agreed that they need to “get the muscle out”, meaning blindsiding Matt or Mike at the first Tribal Council. Colton told the viewers,“They can call themselves the Misfit Alliance, I’ll just be their King.”

- At the Immunity Challenge, Jeff continued his anger-inducing (from me) transition to more green shirts, and Bill walked into the challenge slapping his fingers like a 12-year-old boy who just saw a boob for the first time. Well, maybe he just saw Monica’s hot pink bathing suit, and that’s what he was responding to.

I’m going to call this challenge Rubbin’ On Your Tribemates, as each member had to work their way across a narrow beam, manouevering around each other. You couldn’t fall, and you couldn’t touch two people at the same time. This was a good challenge. A simple one to set up, but a tough one to complete. I guess after constructing a giant course last week that went unused after Kourtney broke her wrist, they went minimalist with a beam over water.

Kat had trouble getting around Monica, stating “She’s got these big ol’ boobs. I can’t get past.” But we soon learned that Kat had trouble with pretty much everything in this challenge, and she wouldn’t be able to blame it all on Monica’s breasts. She fell in the water a number of times, threw her teammates in the water, and even jumped in the water on two occasions where she didn’t have to.

By the time Monica figured it out, the men had already completed the challenge, with all 8 of their Tribe members finished, while only one (Monica) had finished for the women. Everyone jumped in the water to celebrate, except Leif, who was pushed in by Matt. I half-expected Kat to jump in too since she had done it so many times already.

Chelsea wondered if Salani’s physical assets hindered them in the challenge, saying “It’s definitely the boobs are hard.” (which I sure hope meant ‘difficult’), but Nina summed it up more aptly, saying that there was “No communication. No Teamwork. Same old story.”

- At camp, the girls tried to hash out what happened during the challenge, and it was identified that Kat is eager, but also young and emotional, and can’t control emotion. Don’t we all know someone like that? Just a little too immature for the way they carry themselves?

Nina tried to campaign for Kat to be the one voted out at Tribal Council, but her argument was that Kat jumped in the water twice. Personally, I would have gone with “she can’t do it, won’t listen to anyone, AND jumped in twice.”

AND apparently thinks it’s ok to fart on her teammates! Did you see that? At camp where she just walked up to Alicia, raised up on her toes and dropped the bomb right on her hip? Who does that??

“We are in a tribe of the witless”, Nina told Monica, who agreed but also knows that it’s a fine line. How do you approach an alliance of 5 and ask them to splinter?

- Nina then pleaded her case to Chelsea, saying “you’re too smart to let this happen.” Chelsea told her that she was embarrassed, and talked to Kim about the option of voting Kat out instead of Nina. While they both agreed that Nina deserved to be there more than Kat, they still needed to keep trust within their alliance. Tough choice.

- At Tribal Council, Probst returned to the Blue Shirt, and told Salani that after only 5 days, they were off to one of worst starts in the history of the game, due to “absolute and total dysfunction within this group.” He then said that talking to them was like talking to sixth graders.

Jeff, please talk to these people about how to make a good analogy like that.

- Nina outed the Tribal division, and talked about being a retired LAPD officer, asking what experience Kat brings to the Tribe. Kat’s response was less than impressive: “I’m outdoors and I do sales and I work with people all the time, and um….”

Probst then interjects and says, essentially, “No, you should say ‘I’m young.’” and she pretty much says “Yeah…what he said.”

Chelsea and Sabrina agree they wish their alliance was different, Kat talked about never failing at anything, and then out of the blue called Christina out for some reason, while claiming that she wasn’t calling her out. (??)

I was hoping that the Tribe would do the right thing and vote Miss Farts-A-Lot out, but the downtrodden look on Chelsea’s face during Tribal Council made it painfully apparent that she was voting in a way she didn’t really want to, meaning Nina was taking the blue-lit walk of shame.

- I have to say, this season is shaping up to be a wash for the Manono Tribe. If there is no Tribal switch-up in the next 2 or 3 episodes, I fear that Survivor One World will be as one-sided as this.

Next Week: Here Comes The Rain Again

Survivor Fans, please feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including from some of the castaways themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

Thanks for reading.

Survivor One World, Episode 2 Recap: February 22, 2012

After a good (but anticlimactic) start to Survivor One World last Wednesday, this week’s episode finds the Salani and Manono Tribes still adjusting to living together on the beach. Can the women get it together and stop their infighting? Will Chelsea continue to catch wild animals with her bare hands? Will another Idol be found? So many questions...

All of the answers--and more!--will be in my recap of tonight's show, which will be posted by 10:00 pm ET. Please make sure to check back.

Amazing Race Recap: “My Uterus Is In My Throat!”

The Amazing Race returned on Sunday as 11 new teams set off from California on a race around the world. From hot air balloons to skydiving to empanadas, this Season Premiere saw the teams travelling to Argentina on the first leg of the Race, and one team eliminated before the end of the episode.

Welcome back to all of the returning readers, and for those of you new to my blog and my Amazing Race Recaps, a hearty welcome as well, and a couple of things you should know: a) the recaps should be up within 60 minutes (often less) of when the show ends on the East Coast, b) the pictures will all have hidden captions underneath, so make sure to mouse over them if you want to see them, and c) I love Comments, so let’s all get involved in the Comments section for this season.

As I normally do with the Season Premiere, tonight’s recap is going to be my first impressions of this season’s teams, along with my Random Thoughts at the end.

The Teams:

Nary and Jamie, the Federal Agents –We didn’t learn a lot about these two, but based on the pre-Race footage we were shown, apparently they really like to shoot guns. I mean, REALLY, like to shoot guns. I understand if you’re trying to show that they use firearms as part of their job as Federal Agents, but what was with the repeated shots of them using automatic weapons…and then a happy posing shot while holding 2 handguns?

Misa and Maiya, the Sisters – Pretty girls who like playing football on the beach, surfing, and golfing in bright colours.

Joey and Danny, the Guidos – Obviously being presented as two Jersey Shore wannabes who like to spend their time either in the club, or walking along the river together. One of them can’t drive standard, which is shocking to me that anyone can still go on this show without learning how to drive standard in advance (much like learning to build fire on Survivor), and even MORE shocking that he told us his mom told him to learn it before the show!

The fact that Joey the trainer is going by Joey “Fitness” is going to drive me crazy, but I thought I would do you a service and let you know that Danny’s nickname (while not being used on the show) is even worse: Danny “Guestlist”…and I’m not even kidding.

Dave and Cherie, the Married Clowns – Two “ambassadors of laughter” who think that their time with Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey will give them good karma. It seemed to me that, for an "ambassador of laughter”, Cherie was rather prone to panic, crying in car during the first leg, as they left the first airport, only because she couldn’t see the other teams.

Bopper and Mark, the Kentucky Boys – Claim to be from the “other side of the tracks”, which looked like a shack? Two likable guys who apparently want to say “baby” a lot. I was confused by the Kentucky T-Shirts at the beginning. While they were the same colours, it didn’t look they they were shirts for the basketball team, so were they just promoting the State? Wouldn’t that be fun…a season where everyone had to wear a shirt stating where they were from?

Elliott and Andrew, the Twin Brothers – First of all, thank you for having different hair, because I can never tell twins apart on this show. Elliot is in a rock band and Andrew is a Soccer player, thus I will be referring to them as the Rocker-Soccer Connection for the season.

Kerri and Stacy, the Southern Cousins – Two Southern gals who apparently deserve the requisite hillbilly music as we watch them playing around on a tractor. According to Mark and Bopper, they “have the badonka-donk.” I seriously have no idea what that means.

Vanessa and Ralph, the Dating Divorcees – After last season’s Jeremy and Sandy (who I loved as a team), is “dating divorcees” a new TAR genre? We get it Ralph, you’re very strong…strong enough to do pushups with Vanessa on your back, but does every gesture you make have to result in you displaying your arms? God forbid there is a clue on this season that involves anyone having to legitimately ask “Which way to the beach?”

Brendon and Rachel, the Reality Whores –I know that they are referring to them as “Phd Student and Event Hostess”, but let’s call a spade a spade here. When I heard that they were going to be on this season, I cringed, and was shaking my head at the first footage of them on screen tonight. I’m sure Brendon will continue to wear as much UCLA apparel as possible, and it seems like Rachel is only going to dress in sequins, or something suitable to wear to a St. Patrick’s Day parade…or both.

Art and JJ, the Border Patrol Agents –Didn’t learn much about them, but it looked like they like to drive their ATVs on the beach as they patrol the coastline.

Dave and Rachel, the Army Couple –I don’t feel like I learned anything about them, except that they’ve been married for 2 years, and have a really tiny dog. To avoid confusion this season, I will be referring to this Rachel as “Good Rachel.”

My Random Thoughts:

- Just before the Race started, Phil gave the standard instructions before telling the teams that they would need to find their first clue hidden among the baskets of 100 mini hot-air balloons in the vineyard behind them. After that, they would have to jump in their Ford Taurus (Ford is back as a sponsor, doncha know?), and head off to Santa Barbara. He also told them that the winner of the first leg would win the coveted Express Pass, which would only be good until 8th leg.

Two thoughts on this opening segment: First, that I really liked the pre-Race bike ride to the starting point. Make those bitches work for it, Phil! Second, the Race always starts with Phil’s instructions, and teams blowing past him when he drops his arm and yells “GO!”, but this time, they all ran to the side and around the pond to get to the vineyard. It was a funny visual.

- After everyone found their clues, they learned that they would be heading to Santa Barbara, Argentina, with the first 6 teams to reach the airport getting the best flight, which resulted in a two-and-a-half hour lead over the other teams.

- Mark and Bopper gave us two great lines early in this episode: a) “Throw up and get it up, and let’s go win that money, baby!”, and “When you got loot on the line like this, baby, you pee your pants if you have to.” Somewhere, Jennifer Hoffman was shaking her head at her television.

I think I'm going to have to implement a weekly "baby" count for Mark and Bopper, and cross-reference it with a weekly "bro" count for Joey and Danny. It's only the first episode and it's already over the top for both teams.

- Upon landing, teams had to travel to Santa Barbara (in a Ford SUV of course), and find their next clue, which directed them to the Aerodromo Gilberto Lavaque, and their first Road Block. This Road Block saw one of the team members having to skydive while the other one had to use the SUV to find their landing spot.

But the real beauty of this Road Block was the fact that whoever volunteered to do it…was the one who had to find the other one, who was jumping out of the plane. So for those who assumed since they were at an airport that they would have to go up into the plane and perhaps jump out…the other one got screwed with the jump. Nice swerve.

- Could you imagine being the tandem instructor having to jump with Rachel…hearing her voice screaming all the way down? That would only have been slightly worse than being the cameraman filming her face flapping around as she fell. What the hell was that? Up the next botox treatment, Rach.

- I was confused by Mark. He pukes going up a hill, and pukes in the back seat of a car…but NOT when skydiving? And how awesome was Vanessa’s line as she was free falling? “My uterus is in my throat!”

- The clue switcheroo affected Stacy and Kerri most of all, as Kerri was saying that she was “about to throw up” and completely freaking out…while she was still in the hangar! In the plane, she asked: “If the parachute doesn’t open, what is going to happen to me?” Well, at the risk of sounding flippant, you’re probably going to die.

- After the Skydive, teams got their next clue, which instructed them to drive to Patios De Cafayate. On the way, Team Brenchel was hot on the heels of Art and JJ, which riled Brendon up, as he ranted about the Border Agents, “I’m half Mexican, and I hate them for a reason!”

What reason would that be, Brendon? What an ignorant statement. Rachel responded by telling him to stop, and I say this: How dumb is what you just said if even Rachel thinks it was stupid?

- At the Patios De Cafayate, teams found out that they had to participate in an Empanada contest which would see them make 120 total empanadas (60 meat and 60 cheese). They key was that there were different dough-crimping patterns for each kind, and teams had to work while being surrounded by emphatic dancing and clapping, and an incredible number of flies. They had an “ongoing demonstation” that they could refer to when they needed, which had me feeling sorry for the Argentinian women hired to make the sample empanadas all day while this challenge took place.

- I noticed two things upon seeing the clue for this challenge. First, that while Phil said “the last team to check in MAY be eliminated”, the clue clearly read that the last team “WILL be eliminated.” Interesting to note.

Second, I loved that the clue said “once the region’s reigning Empanada champion approves your work, search the grounds for Phil and the first Pit Stop.” The reason I love that is that the woman that was judging the empanadas wasn’t just an expert, nor was she simply an empanada “champion”…she was the “region’s reigning empanada champion.”

That says to me that not only are there regular competitions, which crown champions, but they are also regionalized? Does that mean there is a State final? Nationals? Is it an Olympic demonstration sport in 2012?

- Army couple Dave and Good Rachel finished first, and got to the Pit Stop mat, where Phil was wearing a stylish white “good guy” hat and hanging with a gaucho. He gave them the Express Pass and suggestively told them that it was “a great piece of power in your pocket.”

- Team Brenchel came in 2nd, Team Border Patrol 3rd, Team Feds 4th, Vanessa and Pipes 5th, The Rocker-Socker Connection 6th, Team Cousins 7th, The Clowns 8th, and the Kentucky Boys 9th, which left The Guidos and The Sisters to claim the 10th and final spot.

- Misa and Maiya finished first and ran into the courtyard where the Pit Stop mat was located, but inexplicably didn’t see it. They left and searched elsewhere, allowing The Guidos to pass them and reach the Pit Stop Mat first.

- An incredible finish, and a spectacularly heartbreaking ending for Misa and Maiya.

Overall, it looks like a fun season, except that the previews showed the inevitable drama that will be caused by Rachel and her fake tears.

Next Week: The Drama Begins.

Amazing Race fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or on Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including many from some of the Racers themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

And if you’re a Survivor fan, be sure to check back on Wednesday nights for weekly recaps on Survivor One World.

Thanks for reading.

(Photo Credits: Reality Fan Forum, CBS)

Amazing Race Recap, February 19, 2012

Tonight is the Season Premiere of the 20th season of The Amazing Race, featuring 11 new teams, including resistant Reality TV mainstays Brendon and Rachel from Big Brother. I'm looking forward to a new season (despite the presence of Brenchel), and I will be recapping every episode once again. My recap of tonight's episode should be up by 10:00 pm ET, so please make sure to check back.

Survivor One World Recap: “It Doesn’t Look Like One World To Me, Bro”

Survivor One World is off and running with a new season featuring a battle of the sexes, two tribes living together on one beach, and some colourful characters, to say the least. Who’s stealing what? Why is medical being called in already? And who is the only castaway who can catch a chicken with their bare hands?

Welcome back to all of the returning readers, and for those of you new to my blog and my Survivor Recaps, a hearty welcome as well, and a couple of things you should know: a) the recaps should be up within 60 minutes (often less) of when the show ends on the East Coast, b) the pictures will all have hidden captions underneath, so make sure to mouse over them if you want to see them, and c) I love Comments, so let’s all get involved in the Comments section for this season.

As I mentioned in my “preview” earlier this week, tonight’s recap is going to be my first impressions of this season’s cast, along with a few Random Thoughts at the end. As always, after only one episode, it’s hard to really tell anything about this cast, so these impressions may be pretty funny to go back and re-read after the season.

I would like to point out that in my first post on Survivor South Pacific, I picked Cochran to win it all, called Mikayla a potential dark horse winner, said Brandon was “a good kid”, and pointed out that I had no opinion whatsoever on Sophie, who ended up winning… so what the hell do I know?

My First Impressions:

Alicia the Special Ed Teacher –As we saw in the advance previews, claims that if she finds out that any of the guys like her, “ they’re gonna get played.” Picked her chosen alliance of five before even reaching camp. Clearly a new record. Heavy on the attitude, but sometimes attitude gets you far in Survivor (not often, though).

Bill the Comedian –Didn’t get to learn much about him, except that he needs to tie his shoes before challenges.

Chelsea the Medical Sales Rep – Able to catch chickens with her bare hands, and may be a shrewd strategist. Says that the women could be “one huge ball of bad-assedness”, but also seems to realize that they are playing as individuals and not a team. Seems pretty sharp.

Christina the Negotiator – Able to calmly work a deal with the men to get fire when the others were unable to. The early Survivor One World Eye Roll Champion.

Colton the Gay Student –Flaunted his way through the opening introduction, talking about cute guys and coconuts, but then was shocked to find out that it was Men vs Women. Looks like Cochran 2.0.

Greg the Guy Who Wants To Be Called Tarzan –I was going to call him Greg the Plastic Surgeon, but if you’re going to insist that you be called Tarzan, then I have to go with that. Seems a bit over-dramatic, declaring that the walk to camp was “hundreds of miles away” and that each man “lost ten pounds of water weight.”

Let me ask you this, if you’re going in for plastic surgery, do you want a surgeon who exaggerates like that? How do you feel watching this show, if he just told you what he’s going to make you look like…and now you’re not so sure?

Jay the Model – Made fire in about 15 seconds. Thinks any deal with the women at this point is ludicrous. (I say he’s right, and give him major credit for either a) knowing how to start fire so quickly, or b) learning in advance of coming on the show.)

Jonas the Sushi Chef – I’ll use his words: “how bad ass could a sushi chef be?”

Kat the Blonde – Wanted to give the men a chicken, but only if they helped with the women’s shelter. Why not just say “We need you?” Doesn’t know what “ambiance” means.

Kim the Bridal Shop Owner –Wants to sweet talk the men to sit by the fire, like it’s not odd to just want to hang out with the people who just stole from you and refused a trade…and in your bikinis. Told us that all men are chivalrous in Texas.

Kourtney the Tattooed Bike Mechanic –A likable outcast, but a bad fate.

Leif the Midget –I’m sorry, I know the correct term is “little person” or “dwarf”, but until I learn what a phlebotomist is, I’m respectfully going with “Leif the Midget.” Seems like a hard worker who is both strong and likable.

Matt the Lawyer –This season’s misogynist. Demands chicken as an apology from the women. Said that he “knew Colton was gay,” which I’m quite sure even the bats in the forest knew. Likes to give nicknames to his teammates like Big Mike and Jaybird, like he’s a typical Frat Boy Meathead.

Michael the Banker – The Thief. What do you think the bank he works for thought of the footage of him stealing from the other tribe? And the fact that he was so proud of it? Audit, perhaps?

Monica the Ex-NFL Wife –Didn’t learn much yet about Mrs. Brad Culpepper, but I will point out that “Ex-NFL Wife” means that her husband is an Ex-NFL player, not that she is his “Ex-Wife.”

Nina The Retired Cop –Also didn’t learn much yet, except that she did a faceplant in the Immunity Challenge that made her face look like she went 12 rounds with Manny Pacquiao.

Sabrina the Teacher –I like her, she seems funny, and should give us good soundbites.

Troy the Swimsuit Photographer – How many of you heard him call himself Troyzan and thought “this guy is the new Coach?" Be aware that Troyzan has three…count ‘em…THREE Facebook Fan Pages.

My Random Thoughts:

- I have to give Jeff Probst some props for the “no hands” helicopter shot off the top of the show. I have to think (and sure as hell hope) that he was strapped in there somehow, but it was still an impressive image.

- These may be the silliest Tribe names I’ve ever heard on Survivor, but probably only because Salani reminds me of this, and Manano reminds me of this.

- I liked two of the elements from the first portion of the show: the stripping down of the truck (albeit only 60 seconds), and Jeff giving them two separate maps to the same beach.

- Once Chelsea caught both chickens, she backed out of the deal with the men to share them, and then the bargaining started: they wanted to trade a chicken for fire, then for an axe. No deal was reached, but Greg made it clear that “you have nine guys here that are looking for a chicken”, which seems like it should have been a euphemism for something, but I don’t think it was. Who knows? Maybe I’m just not up on my plastic surgeon slang.

- Since there was no deal for the women to get fire, Alicia then just tried to steal it right in front of the men. When that didn’t work, she offered for Monica to take her pants off for the men. Not Alicia, mind you…Monica. Why would you offer your own pants when you can offer someone else’s?

Monica decided to simply keep her pants on and just steal the fire when the men were sleeping. But if you steal fire and can’t keep it lit, isn’t that like robbing a bank and not being able to spend the money?

I have to say, I’m not big on all of this stealing being acceptable in Survivor, but if you allow theft at the onset (at the stripping of the truck), then this has to be allowed too. But where do you draw the line? Can you steal someone’s Immunity Idol? What about their clothes? It’s a dangerous precedent.

- The bargaining continued as Christina worked a deal for fire, agreeing with Jonas and Bill that the women would weave palm fronds for them in exchange for the fire. Initially, Jonas requested 40, but she got him down to 20, which Bill said made sense because “each person does two.” Wait a second, Bill…last time I checked, 9 times 2 is 18. Is there another woman out there we’re missing? Or was he counting Colton, who called himself “one of the girls?”

And if you’re the women, why wouldn’t you do a horrible job weaving the palm fronds so that they leak?

- I noticed a lot of bats in the HD nature shots. Could it be because this season ends right around the time that The Dark Knight Rises is released in theatres? Probably not…

- When Sabrina stumbled upon the Immunity Idol in giant empty trunk, I made a new vow to no longer refer to them as “Hidden” Immunity Idols. When someone finds one in what they describe as “literally the second place I looked,” it’s just unacceptable.

But I did like that it was a Manono idol, that must be given to someone on Manono before the next Tribal Council. Obviously, Sabrina’s BFF Country Club Colton was the obvious candidate, and he was thrilled to receive it.

- The Immunity challenge was simple: an obstacle course that would need to be completed by each tribe member individually. At the end, it would be the old standard raising of the Tribe Flag. No tiles. No freakin’ coconuts. Hallelujah.

Bill lost his shoe, Colton scurried down the net, and before we could see how it all played out, the challenge was stopped because Kourtney had sustained an injury, what was clearly a broken wrist.

The men now had a choice: to either take the win and send the women to Tribal Council, or finish out the challenge. I paused it and did a quick survey of my girlfriend, my niece, and I to see what we would have done. They both said they would continue the challenge, and I said it was a no-brainer: take the win.

First of all, if you’re competing for fun, or just for competition, then yes, I would do the sporting thing and continue. But within the parameters of the game of Survivor, winning is everything, so you do anything that keeps you from Tribal Council.

Second, looking at Kourtney’s injury, both teams had to suspect that Kourtney was being eliminated from the game after her X-Ray, so why on Earth would the men risk losing one of their own at this point? Lots of risk, no reward.

And I hated Mr. Blue Shirt’s guilt-ridden reminder to the men: “the single biggest mistake made in this game is doing decisions early on that nobody will forgive you for in the end. But it is your call.”

The women were pissed, but Troy said it best, claiming that he doubts they would have done differently had the roles been reversed. It’s just like on The Amazing Race when someone gets upset after being U-Turned…it’s part of the game, deal with it.

- I can’t decide what was the better line in this episode: Kat (making fire), “I can’t do it that fast by myself” or Colton (talking about Matt), “we’re gonna cut his throat faster that Taylor Swift will write a song about an ex-boyfriend.” I’m probably going to have to go with Colton on this one.

- At Tribal Council: Alicia wants to target Christina, interrupting her, but then when Christina talks, holding a hand up in her face and saying “talking!” Heavy attitude on this one, who then told her “girl, if we were in Chicago, I’m about to punch you in your face.”

Here’s what I don’t get though, why was Christina’s fire-for-weaving deal “shady”, but stealing fire wasn’t?

- To the surprise of nobody, Kourtney’s wrist was indeeed broken, and she was out of the game, saving the women from a Tribal Council vote. An unfortunate end to someone I would have liked to see more of this season.

Next Week: The Women Fall Apart and Colton becomes Cochran.

After watching this first episode, I’m finding it hard to pick someone to win, but I’m going to stick with my tradition of a prediction after the first episode. I’m torn between two players (one man and one woman), so I’m going to say that either Chelsea or Jay will win…and if pressured to only pick one, I’ll go with Chelsea (but only on a 51%-49% split). Make your predictions in the Comments section.

Survivor Fans, please feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Also, if you’re on Twitter, please consider Tweeting or Re-Tweeting a link to these recaps if you have followers who are interested in Survivor. I had a number of Re-Tweets last season for each recap (including from some of the castaways themselves!) and it resulted in a large number of new readers.

Thanks for reading.