Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Survivor One World Recap: “We Are In A Tribe Of The Witless”

Before I get to this week’s episode, I want to touch on a couple of things from last week’s Season Premiere. Overall, I enjoyed the premiere, despite the anti-climactic (and predictable) ending with no Tribal Council vote, and I think this cast should give us a pretty entertaining season. I said that I was a fan of the “men vs women on the same beach” idea, because I thought it would be a fresh and interesting dynamic…and it certainly was, with stealing on both sides, and some early drama.

But what I didn’t expect, was a clear “Battle of the Sexes” in the fan base as well. I’ve been reading a number of message boards and forums, and it has been pretty cut and dry with the male and female fans getting rather aggressive with each other. I expected it from the players, but I suppose human nature has made a large number of fans gravitate to their respective sides based on gender.

The one thing that I heard a lot of from last week’s episode, was that after Kourtney was injured, the challenge should have continued. I read (and heard) a number of people say that either a) the men should have just sat someone out, b) the women should have had one member go twice, or c) that the challenge should have re-started.

All of those ideas (primarily suggested by female viewers who had vocalized their support of the Salani Tribe) are absolutely absurd in my opinion. Why on Earth would the rules for a challenge be changed simply because “your favourite team” was at a disadvantage? Manono won fair and square, since Salani—as a team—were unable to complete the challenge.

Now, on to this week’s episode, which finds the Salani and Manono Tribes adjusting to life together on the beach. Can the women get it together and stop their infighting? Will another Idol be found? And who's got gas?

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor: Troyzan wants to be the Greatest of All Time, Colton is unhappy on his Tribe, Sabrina found an Idol and gave it to Colton, Kourtney broke her wrist, and Jeff told the women they need to get along better. I’m pleased that there wasn’t a blatant “here’s what you need to know for tonight’s episode” sort of foreshadowing like we’ve seen for the last two seasons. Hopefully that’s a trend that will continue.

- Night Vision Recap: Manono told Salani they took care of the fire, and Kat said that she could have done it without them. Rather ungrateful don’t you think? Well, the actual quote from Kat was as follows: “Mind you, I am the fire person, and if they weren’t there, when I got back I probably would have set it…I would have been able to got it…WHOA!” (and then she got spooked by a bug flying by.)

Christina and Alicia had a heart to heart chat after attacking each other at Tribal Council. Alicia thinks Christina is rude, and Christina thinks that Alicia is disrespectful. Alicia did a lame attempt at a Sue Hawk impression by telling us “if I saw her swimming in an ocean and she was drowning, I’d probably look the other way.” In the end, though, they hugged and both said everything was fine, which neither of them believed.

Alicia then offered this nugget: “Nina looks like a bag of rocks, and I don’t even know what that analogy means.” No, Alicia…you certainly don’t.
- The next morning, Sabrina tried for a team building chat to set some ground rules, and before she knew it, this makeshift town hall meeting had seen her elected leader of the Tribe. She reluctantly accepted, saying truthfully that “managing the airheads is going to be exhausting.”

She quickly identified 3 areas that needed attention: Water, Food, and Shelter. Monica was on Water Duty, and Kat and Alicia were put on Food. As Sabrina was explaining to them, Kat piped up with a glorious piece of wisdom, saying, “I don’t want to observe the land. I want to get stuff.” Apparently not as bad as she wanted to go for a swim, though…as she and Alicia went in the water instead of searching for food.

- Tree Mail was a couple of wooden boxes and a letter that instructed the castaways to assemble both tribes in a neutral clearing. This was to be our first Do-It Yourself challenge of the season, which I had been looking forward to.
Bill read the instructions (in a fake British accent for some reason), which were simple: the first Tribe to untie all of the rope knots and free a ring from the center would win a tarp. Both teams would be able to keep their box and ropes, so that was kind of like a win already for each team.

Colton and his “jazz fingers” started everyone off with a dramatic “Survivors Ready…Set..Go!” which aggravated me because he was obviously trying to impersonate the Dimple-Tastic Jeff Probst, and any Survivor purist knows that it’s just “Survivors Ready…Go!” (there’s no “set”)

Go ahead, laugh at me if you must, but I know there’s a huge portion of the audience out there that thought the exact same thing.

- The Men won the challenge, Jonas spiked the ring into the ground, Mike lifted Leif, and Sabrina expressed her disappointment over losing by saying “We needed a tarp like a fat kid needs cake.”

OK, that’s a terrible analogy. The last thing a fat kid NEEDS is more cake, Sabrina! The fat kid may WANT the cake, but he sure as hell doesn’t NEED the cake. Someone needs to talk to this cast about making analogies.
- Back at camp, then men got all Bob the Builder with their new supplies, and Colton decided to sit, stretch, swing, and go visit the women. Not only was he not being helpful, but he was clearly being standoffish, and having a major attitude around camp. Jonas identified it, and saw that he was trying to make inroads with the Salani Tribe (last season’s cast would use the phrase “curry favor” here), and compared him to everyone’s favorite sock-burning Hobbit, saying “he’s making Russell look like a freakin’ little schoolgirl.”

Really??? How many terrible analogies can we have in one episode??

- But Johnny Sea Foam didn’t just stop at visiting the women, he was now helping them build their shelter, and trying to stay at their camp the whole time. It didn’t take long for the women to tell him bluntly that he wasn’t welcome at their camp. He left briefly, but returned shortly with a tearful plea for them:

“I don’t care about the game. I don’t care about strategy. Y’all can all call BS. This is what I’m saying. I literally feel like I have no one on this island. Not one person.” That may be so, Colton…but you can’t expect the other people to not care about the game or strategy so that you can feel good about yourself.

Kim spoke for the Tribe, telling him bluntly once again that they were two separate Tribes, and he is on the other Tribe. She correctly told him that it would be a dumb move on their part to let him stay.

Some people will make the comparison to Cochran from last season, being ostracized from the rest of his Tribe, and finding solace in the opposing Tribe, but this is different. Cochran was made to feel like an outcast by the rest of his Tribe (including that Cheatin’ Whitney!), where Colton is ostracizing himself from the Manono Tribe. This is a self-imposed exile.

- Seriously, what’s with all the bats? I was joking when I made The Dark Knight Rises comment last week, but now I’m starting to wonder.

- Why were my eyes subjected to having to watch Greg/Tarzan in a speedo? I was longing for the return of Philip’s droopy pink briefs after seeing that. And what made it worse was the odd campfire dance he was doing at night, carrying a spear and doing pelvic thrusts? Did he hit himself in the face? Is that how this happened?
But the better night show was Colton, as he showed the Idol to Troyzan, Leif, and Jonas, who all agreed that they need to “get the muscle out”, meaning blindsiding Matt or Mike at the first Tribal Council. Colton told the viewers,“They can call themselves the Misfit Alliance, I’ll just be their King.”

- At the Immunity Challenge, Jeff continued his anger-inducing (from me) transition to more green shirts, and Bill walked into the challenge slapping his fingers like a 12-year-old boy who just saw a boob for the first time. Well, maybe he just saw Monica’s hot pink bathing suit, and that’s what he was responding to.

I’m going to call this challenge Rubbin’ On Your Tribemates, as each member had to work their way across a narrow beam, manouevering around each other. You couldn’t fall, and you couldn’t touch two people at the same time. This was a good challenge. A simple one to set up, but a tough one to complete. I guess after constructing a giant course last week that went unused after Kourtney broke her wrist, they went minimalist with a beam over water.
Kat had trouble getting around Monica, stating “She’s got these big ol’ boobs. I can’t get past.” But we soon learned that Kat had trouble with pretty much everything in this challenge, and she wouldn’t be able to blame it all on Monica’s breasts. She fell in the water a number of times, threw her teammates in the water, and even jumped in the water on two occasions where she didn’t have to.

By the time Monica figured it out, the men had already completed the challenge, with all 8 of their Tribe members finished, while only one (Monica) had finished for the women. Everyone jumped in the water to celebrate, except Leif, who was pushed in by Matt. I half-expected Kat to jump in too since she had done it so many times already.

Chelsea wondered if Salani’s physical assets hindered them in the challenge, saying “It’s definitely the boobs are hard.” (which I sure hope meant ‘difficult’), but Nina summed it up more aptly, saying that there was “No communication. No Teamwork. Same old story.”
- At camp, the girls tried to hash out what happened during the challenge, and it was identified that Kat is eager, but also young and emotional, and can’t control emotion. Don’t we all know someone like that? Just a little too immature for the way they carry themselves?

Nina tried to campaign for Kat to be the one voted out at Tribal Council, but her argument was that Kat jumped in the water twice. Personally, I would have gone with “she can’t do it, won’t listen to anyone, AND jumped in twice.”

AND apparently thinks it’s ok to fart on her teammates! Did you see that? At camp where she just walked up to Alicia, raised up on her toes and dropped the bomb right on her hip? Who does that??

“We are in a tribe of the witless”, Nina told Monica, who agreed but also knows that it’s a fine line. How do you approach an alliance of 5 and ask them to splinter?
- Nina then pleaded her case to Chelsea, saying “you’re too smart to let this happen.” Chelsea told her that she was embarrassed, and talked to Kim about the option of voting Kat out instead of Nina. While they both agreed that Nina deserved to be there more than Kat, they still needed to keep trust within their alliance. Tough choice.

- At Tribal Council, Probst returned to the Blue Shirt, and told Salani that after only 5 days, they were off to one of worst starts in the history of the game, due to “absolute and total dysfunction within this group.” He then said that talking to them was like talking to sixth graders.

Jeff, please talk to these people about how to make a good analogy like that.

- Nina outed the Tribal division, and talked about being a retired LAPD officer, asking what experience Kat brings to the Tribe. Kat’s response was less than impressive: “I’m outdoors and I do sales and I work with people all the time, and um….”

Probst then interjects and says, essentially, “No, you should say ‘I’m young.’” and she pretty much says “Yeah…what he said.”

Chelsea and Sabrina agree they wish their alliance was different, Kat talked about never failing at anything, and then out of the blue called Christina out for some reason, while claiming that she wasn’t calling her out. (??)

I was hoping that the Tribe would do the right thing and vote Miss Farts-A-Lot out, but the downtrodden look on Chelsea’s face during Tribal Council made it painfully apparent that she was voting in a way she didn’t really want to, meaning Nina was taking the blue-lit walk of shame.

- I have to say, this season is shaping up to be a wash for the Manono Tribe. If there is no Tribal switch-up in the next 2 or 3 episodes, I fear that Survivor One World will be as one-sided as this.

Next Week: Here Comes The Rain Again

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Thanks for reading.


Opal said...

My only comment is that every season we see a group that knows and admits what they should do and then we watch them do the opposite!!! I mean come on Mrs. Farts-A-Lot should have been the first to go. Girls are idiots!!!

Anonymous said...

How long until Colton gets "outed" as to having the HI?

Alisha said...

First off, in case any readers can't tell by my name, I am a woman. I said it last week, and I'll say it again this week, the women are being absolute IDIOTS. Oh, and I don't blame the men one bit for taking the win. I am actually surprised to hear that there are women viewers who are SUPPORTING this mockery. Frankly, it's embarrassing to watch. I agree with just about everything Nina said, and though she is older and may need to go soon (not just b/c she's older), Kat should have gone. Absolutely. She is a ditzy, immature little girl.

Colton is annoying. Tarzan needs to stop the speedos.

Kiwi Al said...

This challenge looked to be made especially for the women. What's a bet the next immunity challenge is even more tailored towards them.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy Survivor STILL but never let them play games with their early desperation for viewers... At least MEN vs. WOMEN is not as disgusting as trying to pit people against each other based on race/ethnicity.... Only the gal that grabbed the two chickens -- the 2nd a one-handed snatch -- impresses me this season.... The assistant producers have been so lazy the last few years when it comes to early episodes... This is why the show prospered when the now absent Mark Burnett worried about his future: It was all storyline talent then without desperation.... (Maybe a LITTLE desperation during a horrible Borneo rainstorm when Mark Burnett thought Dirk/Sean would destroy his dream keeping Stacy and voting out Rudy.).... I MISS that Mark Burnett and so does the show... The assistant producers never had to gamble their homes and life savings --- and this is why they SUCK!!... If it is MEN vs. WOMEN they need to help the Survivor Producer in Mexico's jail. When he is not murdering women "off the clock" --- they won 100% of the time for the show.

R.P. McMurphy said...

After your Salami reference last week, whenver I see "Salani" on the screen, I think of the White Shadow.

Sabrina's Town Hall meeting was Lord of the Flysish. All that was missing was the Conch as they pointed at who could speak.

Was very surprised at the portrayal of several cast members based on their professions:

If the comedian's best bit is that accent, it's time for a new line of work. You'd think something humorous would have shone through after two episodes.

Sabrina is a teacher? She makes the fat kid/cake comment, calls Colton a virus, then calls him a jerk. Would have expected a different demeanor from a teacher.

Way too much from Tarzan this week in the speedo, dancing around, and he's the one who flashed "Jazz Hands." Yikes. He's a plastic surgeon?

I just saw the movie "Contagion" last week and that's what jumped to my mind with all those bats flying around. Scary.

After the opening, Alicia was edited much better this week. I hated her last week. Was "meh" about her this week.

Nina absolutely reminded me of Sue this week. Her points were spot on but I think her tact cost her. She had potential but as she was railing on and on, I knew she was done. So much for my hunch!

Something needs to change for the women quickly. They need to get their act together or hope for a Survivor change-up to get it going or else they will be on the receiving end of that Kitchener beat-down video.

Always feel like I'm watching the show with you, Sean. Keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

I'm a dude yet I'm rooting for the women's tribe. They actually have 5 people who seem sane (Saab, Chelsea, Kim, Christina and Monica) but have been dragged down (or will continue be dragged down) by Kat and Alicia.

My only complaint is the season thusfar is the amount of camera time Burnett's giving to the flamer. Colton's World? Indeed! I hope he gets the boot soon, which means he'll probably be Final Four or better. Worthless creep.

Michou said...

Some of these gilrs are complete airheads, I say the men will take them all out soon....

HoH8 said...

I heard that they may have a Tribe-Swap pretty soon... i was wondering why...but now i understand why they did it...the men vs women, was not working...

dont worry peeps...this is will get better...☺...

iammo said...

I was pro girl tribe in the first episode but have switched over to the boys in the second episode.
I like the challenges this season but its too bad they kept Kate and got rid of Nina! The girls are gonna need a miracle to win a future challenge.
Colton is entertaining and it would be funny if he actually is smart and can survive in the game when he doesn't have the idol.

Anonymous said...

Stay off of daltons blog.

Sean said...


Vomit said...

Hey Sean!! :D

Firstly - my puter is finished as of a few weeks ago - still having a hard time going shopping for a new one with everyone saying I need a mac for my vid editing and I've been using PC for years... ANYWAYS.. I hope ur doing awesome and I will catch u on Facebook once I get back to having online access on a working computer any day now...


So I thot a few things about this season.. MOSTLY about how much makeup everyone (men also) have been wearing. I mean - if people were allowed a luxery item like in Season One(Kelly's journal and Dirk's bible for example) and decided to bring eyeliner(?!) THEN that could make sense(yeah.. not really)...


First thing - People keep mentioning Tarzan's speedo, but he's wearing what he's got when it looks super hot on the show(look at his hair at those times). The only time when he wore his jean tear-offs (which I imagine a TERRIBLE rash would happen in extreme heat while sweating in) this episode was during 'Rubbin' On Your Tribemates' challenge when he knew he would be in water. Cool/cold water.

Secondly - Troyzan YEOWZA!! I couldn't notice Bill fake accent at all during that time until I replayed the scene after reading ur recap *BUT* I'm really surprised NO ONE mentioned this in the comments - and I'm NOT the only one who noticed that since my roommate and I both gave eachother the wide-eyed did-you-just-see-that-too look rite before bursting out laughing when they showed it a second time(yes it was silly of us. Seriously Troyzan - you have swimtrunks. Troyzan is REALLY looking to out-Tarzan Tarzan(Greg) any chance he gets (also take note when he bangs at his chest in the same challenge mentioned above just after Bill gets past him).

Third - I'm not sure if these actually relate but when Alicia makes the analogy about 'bag of rocks' in the beginning and Nina saying 'Kat being about as dumb as a rock' in the challenge later on??

So that's what I noticed - love ur recaps!! :D Cheers from Montreal as always!! :)

Vom ~:P~