Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Survivor Nicaragua Recap: "The Dreaded Loved Ones Episode"

That sound you heard about 4 minutes into this episode? That was me vomiting.

You knew it was coming. I've warned you for weeks. And now, with tonight's episode being the last one before the Season Finale on Sunday, it's time for the dreaded "Loved Ones" episode. Just look at the picture above, as the Survivors check out the handy new Sony Evo.

What the hell is happening in that picture anyways? Jane looks like she's looking at picture of a fish she can sneak away with and eat on her own, Dan is confused, and Fabio is fixing his hair. Once again, I submit to you, Survivor Nicaragua is a candidate for worst season ever.

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor: as Holly said, What the f*** is wrong with Chase? Jeff’s voice-over reminded us of Chase’s indecisiveness, and his maddening trend of voting out his supposed alliance-mates. Remember when the “Previously on…” segment was simply a recap of the last episode? Now Jeff is constantly telling us what we need to know for the theme of the episode. Did anybody not think this episode was going to involve a significant amount of Chase?

- The loved one videos are painful to watch. Did they all get told by CBS to have a dog on their lap, in their arms, or in the background? Call me heartless if you want, but it’s the same crap season after season. Same with the introductions of the loved ones who (gasp!) are actually there. Have you never watched the show before? They’re always there. Don’t act like it’s a shock…we’ve seen it 21 times now.

- All of that notwithstanding, my Random Thoughts on the Introductions/Reward Challenge:
o Nice to see they’ve upgraded from the Palm Pre to the Evo, but Sony is still clearly paying a heavy price to finance this episode. Did you see all of the features, and hear that it’s Sony’s first 4G phone? And the quality of those photos and videos…wow. Gag.
o When Dan’s son ran up to hug his dad, Dan made some sort of sound that was like a cross between a squeak, an injured cat, and someone playing the bagpipes who has no idea how to play the bagpipes. And how awkward was the incessant kissing? I’m all for an affectionate family…I still kiss both my mom and dad when I see them, but that was just weird.
o Jane’s daughter Ashley came barreling out of the woods and looked like she was going to smash right into Jane, knocking her airborne and probably right into the ocean. I braced myself for what was sure to be a 10-million-hit YouTube sensation, but alas, Ashley geared it down and simply picked up peanut brittle Jane in a hug, careful not to snap her. Hey, how do you think that go-kart got broken?
o Chase wins the Reward Challenge (again), and even though he promised Fabio that he would take him and Sash on the challenge, you knew based on the “don’t forget how indecisive Chase is, and how he goes back on his word” montage at the beginning that Fabio was getting screwed. And how perfect would that Reward have been with 3 boys and their moms? Colby Donaldson was home on his couch, drooling…saying “Man, that would be awesome!”
o Once I saw the challenge setup from the air, I thought to myself “Dan has no chance.” Then Jeff said that the Loved Ones were going to be participating (and they were shocked. Again, have you never watched the show?), and I thought, ‘OK, maybe Dan has a chance.” Then Jeff said that the Survivors would have to jump into the water, get the bags, and run them back, and I switched back to "Dan has No Chance" again.
o After Chase chose Sash and Holly, Dan told his son, the human kissing booth, that Chase was a scumbag. Then, Fabio called him out on his promise. See what I’m saying? The Loved Ones episode is nothing but trouble!

- So off they went on a boring reward, took lots of pictures, and after 30 minutes of Hallmark schmaltz, we’re back to the game.

- I’ve had a lot of fun this season at Chase’s expense over his job description of Pro Race Car Jackman. I was thinking today, I understand what the job entails…I mean, the name isn’t really cryptic at all…but what exactly is the act of doing what Chase does called? Is it car jacking? Isn’t there a negative connotation attached to that?

- At the Immunity Challenge (another one where Dan had no chance), I could tell by the ‘retribution music’ that was playing, that Fabio would win after not being taken on the Reward. This season is painfully predictable.

- Best line of the challenge from Probst: “Holly is struggling…but she’s got her last bag. That’s gonna help.”

- At the pow-wow between Chase, Sash, Holly, and Jane, the crazy old witch was shooting daggers at the other 3 before being told she was likely going home. Then she gave Sash the finger (why even disguise it as a face scratch at this point? Why not just double-barrel it right in his smug face?) And then, she went on to tell us that Sash’s mom raised a liar. First Marty’s kids, and now Sash’s mom? When Jane gets angry, she brings the whole family into it, doesn’t she?

- Then, all hell broke loose as Jane was yelling at people not to even look at her, and doused the fire before they left for Tribal Council with a dramatic “By God, I started it…I’ll put it out.” It was a valid point, and arguably the best moment of the season so far (and how sad is that?), but I had to think to myself: Where the hell was Jane with that bucket of water when the camp was burning down!

- Tribal Council was dramatic as well: Holly’s a thief, Dan and Fabio are next, both Idols got played (how much of a non-factor were the Idols this season? Lame.), and Chase was put on the spot. Long story short, adios Jane. See you on the Jury.

Next Week (well, Sunday actually): It’s the Season Finale of what may go down as the worst season in history.

Once again, my apologies to those of you expecting my recap by 9:30 ET as usual. I am still on the West Coast, but I will be home this weekend, so my recap for the Season Finale this Sunday will go on as normal. I’m hoping to get it posted during the Live Reunion Show, and then updated after the reunion show.

My predictions for the reunion show: Shannon will get booed, NaOnka will get booed harder, Purple Kelly will giggle and shrug, Brenda will look amazing, Marty’s hair will not be crazy, Jane and Holly will both look totally different, Jeff will re-iterate his disgust at the quitters, and at one point, Benry will let out a whoop.

Just a reminder that Comment Moderation is still on due to the spoilers that are circulating Until the end of this season, I will have to approve Comments before they get posted on here. Rest assured I will post every Comment (positive or negative) that does not contain spoilers.

Survivor Fans, feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Thanks for reading. See you Sunday for the Finale!

Related Posts:
Survivor Nicaragua Recap by Dalton Ross
Jeff Probst’s Blog (featuring a tease on next season - see the Comments section below for details)
Spoiler TV Recap

12 comments:

KevinL said...

Great blog, I read it every week!

LostInSeaton said...

I can see that you're going through Survivor fatigue! It amazes me too that the players don't know or act like they've seen the show before. I really like the episode, although they are not the brightest players ever (Parvati and Boston Rob would have eaten them and spat them out), there is definitely lots of drama with this group.

I thought Jane espicially acted very childish when she wasn't taken on the reward...I mean she got taken last week..she should have taken the time to strategize with Fabio and Dan.

And when they are standing around telling Jane that she is next to go, they were so patronizing, I was cringing. And again, Jane was petty and vengeful..whatever fan favourite she might have been went out the door. She is no Rupert.

So, another season is almost over, I hope for all our sakes the next one has a better group.

Thanks again for your thoughts..always so insightful and funny!

Sara.

LostInSeaton said...

One more point I wanted to make, is it just me..or is Jeff becoming more involved this season...it looked like he was throwing Holly under the bus, when he "suggested" to Jane/Fabio/Dan to vote Holly.

Sara

Sean said...

Sara, you're right...Parvati and Rob would eat these yahoos alive. And I agree with you, I think it's inappropriate that Jeff got involved the way he did at Tribal Council.

But just like I mentioned about the Previously segment, maybe they are doing whatever they can to salvage the season, even if they're beating the contestants (and us) over the head with it.

Beth said...

I agree about the inappropriateness of Jeff's making strategy suggestions, but the really sad part is that apparently Dan & Fabio are too stupid to take blatant strategic advice from the guy who has sat through every Tribal Council for 21 seasons!

P.S. Regarding your predictions for Sunday, I was going to ask, "Who the heck is Shannon?" but I decided to check the web site instead, and was genuinely surprised to be reminded that Shannon is a guy. Seriously. I was 100% expecting a girl's picture. That's how utterly forgettable that jerk was.

Sean said...

Regarding the comment in Jeff Probst's blog that says the announcement for next season will be EPIC: the rumour/spoiler going around is that it will be a Tribe headed by Boston Rob vs. a tribe headed by Russell, along with a twist called Redemption Island which allows voted out castaways to face off in challenges and get reinstated back into the game.

I'm not sure I believe it, but Jeff's comment makes me wonder. I hate the idea of this Redemption Island twist, though...

Toragirl said...

Just to throw it out there...I don't think that Jane was the million dollar lock people made her out to be. She won't get Marty's vote, Na'Onka gave her idol to someone else, and Purple Kelly was on the other alliance.

neicee said...

It IS a rather lack-luster season, but I hated Thailand more. O.o
I was really shocked at Jeff offering Fab, Dan and Jane a way out. And more shocked that they didn't take it! Hubby and I have been discussing how much Fabio has been playing up this dumb act. We said, if he votes Jane, that settles it. But so did Dan. And Jane threw away a vote to Sash? I believe that marks them all as dumb. We're not even sure we care who wins this time. If they slip up and take Dan to the final, he could win for not having double crossed (or annoyed) anyone!

Anonymous said...

oh, fabio voted for holly. make no mistake. didn't you see the look he gave dan at the very end? I suspect that dan has a backdoor arrangement with 2 of them to break 3-2 at 5. that or he thinks he does.

D. said...

Random Thought #1: I am with you on that. And I also don't like how they became SUBJECTIVE narrations. "...Chase decided Benry was a bigger threat." No, actually it was Sash, as an additional video on CBS proves.

RT#2: I'm SO with you on that. Why are they so shocked? And why are they crying their hearts out, it's only been 32 days..

"Next Week (well, Sunday actually): It’s the Season Finale of what may go down as the worst season in history."

6 out of the first 7 people voted out dug their own grave. 2 people quit on day 28. Nobody played strategic. Many wrong decisions. Boring challenges, for the most part. Way too many tiles. I'd say at least 15 of the players were weird and unlikeable. Dan is still alive. The final 5 is just...horrible and I can not believe one of those 5 will win the game.

SO with all that... this season just 'may' go down as the worst? :P

As for the next season, Jeff Probst said in his blog he will make 'an exciting announcement' about it. Since it is SO obvious what he means by that, I have to ask... another all-stars season? Isn't it a little bit...I don't know, soon for another all star season? I've heard they might do a Second Chance season...that will work if they brought back players who were voted out early in the game, but I highly doubt they will do that.

Nice recap, I only discovered you now, but better late than never.

Choirchick22 said...

OH man. I seriously hope they do a season of Boston Rob vs. Russel! I love watching both of them play and that would just be so amazing!

I think Fabio is the only one who deserves it here. Holly has been crazy this whole season. Chase is an idiot. Sash is so full of himself. Dan of course hasn't done anything! That leaves Fabio. He's played dumb at times but he truly is a great person. I hope he gets it!

Anonymous said...

Every single comment....Damn you make me laugh.
You are a fuck. Still approving this?