November 26, 2009

I was reading the story of the armed prisoner escape in Hamilton yesterday, and I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things. First of all, at the end of the article, in The Globe and Mail, they noted that the prisoner “stands six-foot-one, weighs 163 pounds, and was last seen wearing an orange jumpsuit.” Look, I’m no criminal psychologist, but I have to think that if this guy and his accomplices were smart enough to co-ordinate a brazen daytime escape in a hospital, that included them using a stolen vehicle and switching to another vehicle a few blocks away, then they probably were smart enough to think that it would be a good idea to ditch the orange prison jumpsuit.

Maybe I’m wrong, because after all, we’re talking about someone who got into a shootout after robbing a Tim Horton’s with a shotgun. Let’s examine that, shall we? First of all, you’re using a shotgun in an establishment that is more often than not populated by teen employees. Why use a shotgun when you can probably achieve the same result with a stern tone of voice?

And if you’re going to plan an armed robbery, why on earth would you choose a Tim Hortons? I know they’re busy, and the lineups can be long, but how much are you really expecting to get? And do you want it in change and five-dollar bills? Did this guy waltz in with a potato sack and a wagon, and say “Fill it up!”…and was then planning on spending the next few months rolling coins? I actually researched and checked out the location of the Tim Horton’s that he robbed back in January, and it in the same parking lot as a Swiss Chalet! I don’t have a template for the ‘ideal robbery’ scenario, but I have to think that would have been a better option if the goal was to get the most money possible.

I’m not sure whether to believe this guy is a criminal mastermind, or just an idiot. Maybe pointing out the orange jumpsuit wasn’t a bad idea…