Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Survivor South Pacific Recap: "Cochran Makes Prank Calls & Massages His Mom"

Tonight's episode of Survivor is the beginning of the endgame for the final seven contestants. With only the Upolu 6 and Cochran left, who will be the target now that they have no choice but to turn on each other? Will it be Cochran, the obvious choice? Or is something in the works to keep the flip-flopping Ginger in the game?

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor, Brandon told Edna that she was 6th in a group of 5, and we saw a recap of the decimation of the Savaii Tribe, which left Dawn, Ozzy, and Whitney currently on Redemption (Non) Island.

- Night Vision Recap at Te Tuna camp: Coach was thrilled because they had now “eradicated all former Savaii members”, and Cochran was still comfortable with his decision, even if it meant he was currently 7th on the totem pole. He did make a point of saying that he was aware that ‘the family’ could turn on him at any moment.

- Cochran talked about being a rebellious 5th grader, which involved making prank calls and saying things like “I think you’re so hot, I really want to trade sperm with you.” That doesn’t sound like a prank call as much as it sounds like something that would require a 10-year-old girl to learn what a restraining order is.

- Sophie says that she sees why people get annoyed with Cochran, because he constantly carries himself like he's exceptionally proud of the move he made, and that he still thinks that someone will take him to the end. Speaking of Sophie, I have to mention that my comparison photo of Sophie and Tinky Winky from last week’s Mini-Recap was such a hit, that Sophie actually posted it on her Facebook page.
- Cochran talked about ‘the family’, describing it more like a cult, and with the creepy music playing, it sure came across that way. He then talked about Brandon being “obsessively devout”, and said that he didn’t want to be Sharon Tate in this scenario, but he felt like he was about to be given the poisoned Kool-Aid. Look Cochran, I get that you’re witty and smart, but now you’re cross-referencing two separate cults at once? Just pick Jim Jones or Charles Manson and go with it…you don’t need to combine them.

- Cochran then talked to rest of the Tribe about keeping him around for one more vote, as a way of showing that they appreciate what he did for them, and lying to them about his birthday coming up to hopefully play on their potential guilt. After he walked away to let them discuss it, Coach and Albert both said that they support the idea, but they want it to be a group decision. Sophie, meanwhile, was vocal in her disapproval, saying that she felt Cochran’s flip was a stupid move.
- At The Redemption (Non) Island (Non) Duel, Ozzy, Dawn, and Whitney squared off in another balance competition. I have to say, I firmly believe that if you wear a bathing suit all season, and then show up to a competition in jeans, you’re ready to go home, so I assumed that not only would Whitney not win, but that this would be another easy win for Ozzy.

The most entertaining thing in this (Non) Duel, was the fact that instead of Jeff tossing out suggestive double entendres, this time he apparently decided to make everything he said sound like it came straight out of a Dr. Seuss book: “Dawn went to yawn and it almost cost her this game”, “a million dollar do-or-die duel”, and “Whitney starting to wobble a little.”
In one of the tense moments, he was eyeing up the contestants and said “anybody can win this game if you can just get to the end”, and you just KNOW that Russell Hantz jumped up and screamed at his TV…”That is BULLSHIT!”

Ozzy went back to Redemption (Non) Island to fish, Dawn told Jeff she loved him, and Whitney couldn’t leave fast enough, presumably to get to Ponderosa where she could bang Keith without cameras around.

- Not a lot was happening around Te Tuna camp: Albert is lazy, Edna was doing laundry, Brandon was fishing, and Cochran’s sole job was to hold the fish in the same manner that men are left to hold purses while their significant others are shopping. Be honest…when Cochran was talking about delivering the fish to the rest of the Tribe, how many of you wanted it to jump out of hands and back into the water?
- Rick gained the ability to speak this week, apparently along with WWE’s Hornswoggle, and complained about Albert, saying “there’s a reason they call him Prince Albert.” Really, Rick? You barely speak for 11 episodes, and now your first major line is that? If you don’t understand why I’m semi-outraged, just Google “Prince Albert.”

- On the beach, Coach and Cochran were taking part in the morning Coach Chi in an effort to center and empower Cochran. Coach said “one of the two of us should win immunity today because we’re doing this.” Would that really be the case?

- The Immunity Challenge was another Déjà vu Re-hash, (complete with coconuts, of course) with an added reward of a spa afternoon featuring an awkwardly named “Bush Shower” and a massage. In the first part of the challenge, the first three to toss a sandbag on their three crates would advance, and it was Albert, Rick, and Sophie moving on…proving that the morning Coach Chi session was relatively useless..
The second part of the challenge was coconut-chucking, and thank God Mikayla wasn’t there for Coach to be frustrated with as she was using the slingshot. Rick jumped out to an early lead, Sophie kept missing low, but may have been using an Angry Birds-like strategy to simply destroy the base and have everything topple over, and Albert eventually won Immunity.

This was one of those rewards where you get to pick someone to join you, and Albert picked Coach. He then offered up his own reward to Cochran for his (fake) birthday. Cochran’s response was to say “I’ve given my mom massages over the years”, which shockingly was not even the most uncomfortable thing he said THIS EPISODE. (Nor was his comment during the massage, “having a beautiful woman stroke the inside of my legs for me is a new experience.”)

Lesson: apparently Coach Chi on the beach means you can suck at the challenge, not come close to winning, yet still both get the full reward.
- There was a flurry of activity at camp as Albert and Edna tried to align with Cochran in an effort to vote Rick out. Albert doesn’t like being called Prince OR Princess, and thinks Rick is “as sharp as a bowling ball.” Edna, after receiving comfirmation from Coach that she is 6th on the list, really wants Coach to vote with them.

Coach now has a dilemma: does he want to be a man of his word, and play with honour & integrity, or does he want to align with Edna and Cochran, who he says will never vote him out. This is the fork in the road, because, as he correctly states, his decision will determine the rest of the game.

I didn’t believe for a second that he would flip and keep Cochran, but I’ll explain that at the end.

- At Tribal Council, Cochran said that he wanted to collect a debt for helping Upolu eliminate Savaii, Jim rolled his eyes, and Albert agreed. Jeff asked Rick “are you worried at all, that if Cochran does play his card tonight, that means it’s one of the other 6?” Well if Cochran stays, of course it’s one of the other six!

- Edna got emotional, Jeff gave strategy tips again, Brandon told everyone that it was black and white (and grey is lying), then started crying again talking about wanting to do bad things. Just when you started to forget he was a nutbar, there he goes again. Coach was remarkably silent for a Tribal Council, and Cochran had the best line, taking a theme I have used for years and saying to Jeff, “talking strategy with Brandon is like talking to you about shirts that aren’t blue.”

- In the end “Cokran” was voted out, which pleased the Jury to no end. How awesome would it be for Cochran to beat Ozzy next week at Redemption (Non) Island?

- Ok, here’s why Coach didn’t flip, and why I didn’t buy it for a second. A) if he flips, it’ll be the first time in 3 seasons of playing that he has actually gone against his word, and say what you want about Coach, he has always shown he is loyal to his alliance, B) if he flips, it pisses off 3 Jury votes in Sophie, Rick, and Brandon, and C) if he flips, it sets Brandon off on him being disloyal and a liar and not playing with integrity, which nobody wants to deal with, and I honestly believe would hurt Coach more than actually losing the game.

- I just want to mention that this week, I will be part of a Survivor podcast at I’ll be on the air with David and Nicole discussing all the happenings from this week’s episode, and the season so far. I was a guest on their podcast last season as well, and I’m happy that they have asked me back as a special guest again. I hope you’ll check it out when it goes up on Friday morning.

Next week: Edna is Mad, and Ozzy is Cocky.

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Thanks for reading.


TARtarus said...

Poor John Cochran.

He was easily the greatest player Survivor had ever seen. But it was not to be. Now he must wait until his triumphant return in...

Survivor: Everyone Versus Cochran

Anonymous said...

Hcochran is so weird. He definitely removes all doubt by not being able to shut up!

Toragirl said...

I was thinking back to the bad decision at the merge - not knowing that Christine was a weapon to use against Coach et al.

Since different tribe members saw each Redemption Duel, and may or may not have reported all the details, did they have enough information to know that they should have welcomed her at the merge, and let Cochrane go?

Anonymous said...

Why didn't they at TC just tell Cochran to man up and beet Ozzie , he still is in the game at RI . And how has he stayed so white the sun in Samoa just shines all day , they had there hottest winter when this was filmed .Whats with the 3 players move on , is it the same each season ?

Anonymous said...


Kurt Sahr said...

Cochran's whiteness is amazing. It's like he cannot physically get a tan.

I'm also wondering if the people who were convinced Cochran's decision to flip at the merge are still thinking it was a good move.

Emma Furfaro said...

Emma's Random Thoughts:
-Rick has been edited horribly
-Cochran pisses me off but Ozzy pisses me off more so it'd be absolutely hilarious if Coch beat Fish Master at Redemption next week.. Which I actually think might happen..
-Coach is winning this game
-Everytime I see Sophie I just want to give her a nice little punch in the face (I also wouldn't mind punching Christine's eyebrows and Jim's facial expressions)
-Good effort Edna. I didn't buy any of that either.

A usual, great recap! Can't wait to hear the podcast and watch Brandon or Edna (but hopefully Sophie) join the jury next week!

Kiwi Al said...

I hope next weeks duel is concentration, I think thats the only duel that Cochran might have a chance to win. Or maybe a quiz about all the past seasons of Survivor.

But the way this season is going, there probably won't be a duel next week and the following week will see the winner return most likely Ozzy.

R.P. McMurphy said...

I absolutely believe Cochran's switch was a good move at the time. He couldn't have gotten much further with his original tribe and it made for better television! Can't wait to see his interactions with Ozzy and, whenever it may be, the rest of the jury.

I didn't think his tact of "you owe me" was a very good strategy to be taken further. He needed more backdoor manuevering to make that happen.

I took his "blue shirt" comment as a direct shout out to Mr. Furfaro!

In the challenge we had Cochran, "Come up short." Then you point out the "Prince Albert" (I only thought of the old joke, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can? so when I googled it, I was stunned and naturally cringed), and follow that with a "Bush Shower." CBS may need to rethink what time this show airs. Perhaps HBO would be interested in taking it on?

More inappropriate God pointing this week. I'm sure Tim Tebow will be the next celebrity player.

I was disappointed to learn this week of Whitney apparently being married already and leaving her husband for Keith.

Choirchick22 said...

I thought Rick was getting so much screen time this week because he was gonna be voted out. So I was actually surprised to see Cochran leave. I hope so hard that Cochran beats Ozzy though. That would make my day. :) I didn't use to hate Sophie. In fact I used to want her to win, but she's become a real jerk. I don't know who I want to win anymore. Maybe Rick. Just because he got the short end of the Survivor stick.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the recap Sean.My first laugh of the day.John was playing for the cameras,and sympathy.I didn't like Sophie at first,but now I'm hoping she goes all the way.

shipaddict said...

"I have to rely on myself winning, but that is what I do best, and that's the way that I want to win this game." Ozzy, this is by far the douchiest statement I've ever heard come out of your mouth. Winning may be what you do best, except for the winning part. How many times have you been on Survivor? And how many times have you won? Yeah. That's what I thought. But winning, yeah, that IS how you win Survivor. By winning. Good plan, buddy.

All this winning and no Charlie Sheen. hmmmm....

Anonymous said...

am i the only one who threw up in my mouth a little bit when John said the only person I have ever given a massage to was my mom?

Anonymous said...

More than once Cochroach has stated that he is an expetrt at Survivor because he has seen every episode from the beginning. BFD!!
So have millions of other fans too.

Anonymous said...

What a fool Cochran was with his "big move". He went from sixth to seventh place. Just because a move is "big" doesn't mean it is smart.

Eudaemon said...

How do I know that Coach will vote out Cochran? Because otherwise it would be the first time in 3 seasons that he did something strategic. Honestly. I think Coach is an awesome and lovable guy, but he's not one who thinks of the endgame.

Survivor is like chess. The unstrategic players can only see one move ahead. They base their actions on short term decisions. They make one move at a time, until they find themselves in the situation where any move they make, they cannot avoid checkmate. The truly unstrategic players can't even see one move ahead. They follow what others tell them to do, they make irrational moves, they flop decisions as they are easily persuaded.

The strategic players know exactly who are the two others they want sitting with them at final tribal that will give them the best shot at the million. They know which are the minimally five jury members they are hoping to get their votes from, and they work it back from there to base their moves and voting decisions. For players who can think long term, they are willing to make short term sacrifices as long as it helps them get the best shot at the million eventually. Some people will never vote for you if you put them in the jury, so don't worry about pleasing them either way. The way I see it, unless Ozzy makes it to the end, Coach already has his jury votes. He should focus on keeping his most loyal people to ensure he gets to the end. Voting out Cochran or Rick now are both mistakes.

Btw with the foreshadowing, it is probably too obvious if Cochran wins the next duel. Instead, I am guessing next duel is Ozzy's Achilles Heel - puzzles, only for Cochran to come up short again as usual. Whatever gave anyone the idea Cochran is good at puzzles? Or anything for that matter!

iAmMe said...

So glad Whitney lost! After she went off on Cochran I didn't like her but hearing she was married and was fooling around with Keith on the show makes me not like her at all. Nasty girl!
I would love to see Cochran beat Ozzy in the dual but I don't have high hopes of that happening.