Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Survivor South Pacific Recap: "Who Wants Pork?"

Wow. What a night to have pork for dinner. And not just pork…but two kinds of pork: butterflied pork chops stuffed with sausage. There’s a lot to talk about with tonight’s episode, so let’s all just bite off a hunk of meat and dive right in.

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously On…Survivor: a gentle reminder that the tribes are evenly matched, and that Ozzy has an Idol, but Jim is working behind his back with Cochran. Also don’t forget that Dawn lifted weights to eliminate Stacy, and Brandon broke down at Tribal Council, where Coach was hug-snubbed.

- For our Night Vision Recap at Redemption (Non) Island (NVR at RNI?), Stacy and Christine vented about Coach like two hens clucking on the classic SNL skit “Coffee Talk.” Stacy turned on the crazy again, saying that everything was not “hunka-dory”, and then ranting that “all y’all gonna go to hell with gasoline drawers on.”

She then claimed that, at the Duel, she was going to “start up a bee's nest.” I thought the phrase was “stir up a bee’s nest”, like you would disturb the nest to rattle the bees and get them all riled up…how would one actually “start up a bee’s nest?” Sure, it would be easy if you were into apiculture, but I don’t think it’s that easy for the rest of us…walking around collecting bees and trying to get them to stay together in their new nest.

- Morning at Upolu started with another apology from Brandon, this time for waking people up. I’m starting to think that this guy will apologize for anything. I’m waiting for him to apologize for the colour of his shirt, the font on his tattoos, and his accent.

He then went on about Mikayla being “prejudiced” about him being a Hantz. Yep, that’s right…only 16 seconds into the show before we got a reference to Russell. Let it Go, CBS! Then he cried about his feelings, and told everyone he’s a good guy. Blah, blah, frickin’ blah…is there anyone out there who ISN’T sick of this?
- At the Duel, Stacy and Christine continued their angry-woman rant, which was clearly “All About The Benjamin” (sorry, couldn’t resist that link). Stacy then went off on her own language again, talking about anything and everything, none of which made sense. These are the exact quotes I took from her: “halloween jokes”, “Chuckie the Cheese”, “Ben was so loyalty”, and “Every day want a story…I want mine” before going OFF THE FRIGGING CHART with this nugget: “They tell you like, yesterday, like the Tribal was all cahoots. Benjamin, let’s give a hood. Keep that hood. Boop! For me…cuz it wasn’t real.”

Ok…just so you know…to get that quote, I actually had to pause the PVR and back it up 11 times, which took over 4 minutes! And, once again, I have no idea what it means. Thanks to those of you last week who accepted my challenge in the Comments section to translate the Stacy-ese quote I provided in the recap. I don’t know if anyone nailed it exactly, but digable, Jennifer Harris, Choirchick22, R.P. McMurphy, and Shannon A all gave worthy translations. (R.P. McMurphy, you were my fave…” the isthmus that is in actuality a peninsula” sealed it for you)

- The duel itself was a Redux of the Final Immunity Challenge from Survivor Tocantins between J.T. and Stephen, which I really liked at the time, and enjoyed watching again. Christine looked like an NHL goalie making save after save, while Stacy appeared disinterested instead of focused, like she didn’t really care. Christine won the Duel to go 3 for 3 this season.

The big news coming out of the Duel, was that Albert actually talked…even if he did just say “sour grapes” and “it’s only a matter of time”.
- After the Duel, Mikayla and Albert told Coach about Stacy spilling the beans about the situation at Upolu camp. The Dragon Slayer was clearly rattled, going so far as to label it “disgusting”, and saying, “if anyone calls me Benjamin to my face, I’m gonna go nuts. My parents call me Coach.” Your parents call you Coach? Really?

- At Savaii, Elyse and Ozzy were snuggled up in their hammock, where Elyse told Ozzy “You’re a good guy”, and Ozzy told her “You’re like my little omen.” (?????) Elyse then went on to speak confidently about her group of 5, including Jim, and how solid they are. Let’s call this our weekly SFMOTW (see last week’s recap for an explanation), as a blatant message that Elyse was in trouble.

- Cochran then showed he was the little Cochran that could, collecting wood and dropping it off. Ozzy asked him how to spell his name, and Cochran said not to worry. I know Cochran was trying to avoid the voting conversation, but I truly think Ozzy was just trying for a really awkward double entendre.

- Dawn and Whitney then gave the rest of Savaii the full scoop on Benjamin running the show at Upolu, and mentioned that Albert was allied with Coach. Ozzy then said “If Coach is smart, he’ll get rid of Albert soon” which was a really dumb thing for him to say. Think about it…the message he is sending is ‘I am in charge, I must get rid of a strong player, even if he is my ally.’ Big red flag for Jim. Nice read, Non-WPT Champion.

- Albert was frustrated as well, because he now knows he’s a target, so he decided to look for the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol. It didn’t seem that hard, as he apparently just strolled up, with his non-blurred crotch, and plucked it out of a hole in a tree.

Now, that would lead to the obvious question as to why I was looking at Albert’s crotch…but I wasn’t. As he took the clue from the tree, my girlfriend said to me “Why isn’t his crotch blurred?” and then I noticed…but only for a second before my mind said “What the hell is SHE doing looking at his crotch?!”
Albert started climbing trees in the tide line, and when he couldn’t find it, told Coach and Sophie about the clue. Coach predictably took over, tree-hopping, but he too couldn’t find it, so he prayed for help. And lo and behold…he found it. “Ask and you shall receive,” he told us, but I will re-iterate once again, God has no interest in the outcome of Survivor.

He was understandably excited after finding the Idol, and told us “I’ve got to get a hold of myself and just say 'Dragon, just get back in there' ” as he motioned like he was putting his heart back in his chest. What did that mean? Is the Dragon coming out of his chest? Is he the Dragon? I thought he was the Dragon Slayer… I’m so confused...
- Cochran went on a fishing trip with the boys, even though, as he put it, he has zero experience, zero ability, and zero confidence. “‘The ocean is the canvas, and the fish are my palette”, he said, which seemed backwards, unless he was planning on putting the fish back in the water instead of trying to get them out.

Ozzy was once again happy to play the provider role, despite the hardships of fishing, like getting cut and having to hold his breath (the horror). Other than his few minutes a day where he was the provider, Cochran told us that he was essentially “a lazy ass”, which seemed about right.
- At the Immunity/Reward challenge, I was happy to see the King of The Blue Shirts wearing a nice Duke Blue button-up (Go Blue Devils!) Rick was equally happy see that big hunk of meat on the spit, nodding seductively and saying “that’s nice”.

The teams had 10 minutes to bite and spit to try and fill a basket with pork, and the team with the most would win. What would they win? Immunity of course, plus bread, veggies, and spices.


You’re telling me that the team that wins this challenge doesn’t get to keep the unchewed meat on the spit??? That’s like taking someone to a nice steakhouse, or a Brazilian Rodizio restaurant, and then telling them they can only have the salad bar and some dinner rolls.

Jeff had a ball with this one “Dawn with a big hunk of meat”, “Coach gnawing off something big”, and “Rick with a HUUUGE piece of meat”, to which I imagined Rick’s wife pointing at the TV at home and saying “Damn right!”
Keith had meat stuck in his teeth, so Dawn helped in a May-December sort of way, Mikayla took a piece off the ground (you go girl!), and the in-basket camera shots led Probst to say bluntly what we all were thinking: “This is a disgusting challenge.”

At the end, Ozzy was left holding the whole spit, like a dog with a bone, but it would come down to what was actually in the basket. Remember that part in the “Previously” segment where we were gently reminded how evenly matched these tribes are…and that one challenge came down to just one coconut? You knew this was going to be close.

Savaii ended up with 22 lbs, 12 oz, and Upolu scraped by with 22 lbs, 14 ounces. Only 2 ounces won that challenge…probably less than the piece Mikayla picked up off the ground. If she doesn’t stop for that piece, I think Upolu loses. Brandon then pointed skyward again to give thanks. Please see above for God’s interest in this game.

- The teams ended up being able to keep the chewed pieces (gross) and had a pork stirfry prepared by Brandon the Cajun chef, who I’m sure apologized to everyone for the spices he used, but that was probably cut out. Coach enjoyed his meal, but not as much as the “Taste of Victory”, which ironically was the name of tonight’s episode.

- In the aftermath, Dawn lost part of a tooth, and Cochran warned of oral herpes, awkwardly proclaiming that “you haven’t lived until you’ve had a cold sore.” He scrambled, trying to curry favor with his tribemates by cutting open some coconuts. I loved this exchange between him and Whitney:

Cochran: “Anybody want this coconut?”
Whitney: “Is there juice in it?”

Well, Whitney, I have to think that Cochran is employing a pretty bad survival strategy if he hands you an empty shell and says “No, chew on this.” OF COURSE there is juice in it!
- On a side note, watching the cast hack away at coconuts with a machete, I have to wonder: how has no one ever lost a finger on this show?

- Cochran, Dawn, and Jim were allied to vote for Elyse, but they needed one more vote. Jim talked to Keith about Ozzy’s earlier comment, and Keith immediately agreed that Ozzy’s Hammock Sweetheart needed to go. But they disagreed on whether to tell Ozzy or not. I think it's an interesting strategy that Keith and Whitney voted for Dawn to "keep their hands clean", but I think it will have the same result (pissing Ozzy off) as if they had just voted for Elyse.

- At Tribal Council, Ozzy was overconfident, and not worried about trust, stating that it’s all about keeping the Tribe strong. Cochran was on the defensive again since Jeff pointed out that he always receives votes. Elyse was very sympathetic towards Cochran, which was another clear sign she was getting voted out.

- Despite Ozzy’s attempt at wittiness in the voting booth that the “Coch-train” (which I think was the name of one of his pre-Survivor soft-core films) was on its second-to-last stop, she of the knit bikini was sent to Redemption Island in a spectacular spelling display that saw 100% of the votes cast for her spell her name wrong (Lys, Elice, and Elise). I re-iterate the need for a spelling template in the booth.
- I have to say, I am getting seriously aggravated with the editing that gives away the entire episode week after week. This was by far the worst. It used to be so much more subtle, but now it’s so obvious. Am I wrong? Is there anyone that didn’t know how this was all going to go down tonight after watching the first 5 minutes?

- Also, Just a quick note to send out a special thank-you to Mikayla Wingle and Edna Ma, both of whom have been re-tweeting the links to my recaps on Twitter. Follow them at @ILuvMiki and @BareEase.

Let's get going in the Comments section! Only 9 Comments last week when we regularly have 20+...

Next week: Ozzy is a Wolfpack of one…and more coconuts.

Survivor Fans, please feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. Don’t forget to mouse over the pictures for captions, and please leave a Comment in the Comments section if you’re so inclined.

Thanks for reading.

(Photo Credits: CBS,


Gabe said...

No one's lost a finger before, but back on Survivor: Cook Islands (aka the Racist Season), Parvati chopped her thumb in half, and medical had to come and bandage it and whatnot. How she was able to stay after doing that, I don't know.

I'm not even going to attempt to translate Stacey's language, it's like a big bucketful of crazy. I'll still miss her though, because her facial expressions were hilarious!!

Choirchick22 said...

To be honest, I don't really see what you see with the foreshadowing. When I read your reviews I always say "Oh hey yeah!" but during the episode, I just take it at face value.

I loved the Coch-Train spelling of his name. Because that's about the worst thing you could have turned his name into. Can't you just see a cheap porno flick called "Coch-train" staring someone looking like Cochran?

If the preview for the next episode is accurate, I hate Ozzy more than any survivor yet. He seems to be a douche around camp, and if he throws that fit next week, it will just confirm it more. To quote Albert "Sour Grapes".

Beth said...

I don't claim to be fluent (or even conversant) in Stacey-ese, but I'm pretty sure what you heard as "hood" was her attempt to say "hug." Which restores at least a tiny bit of sense to that sentence. :-) Oh, and yeah, that pork challenge was WAY disgusting! I was glad I wasn't eating dinner at the time! And I totally agree with you about Brandon -- I hope Uncle Russell has a big ol' slap for him when he gets home. "Didn' I teach you better'n that, boy?"

Alex said...

Loved this week's episode! I thought it was a great blindside, the look at Elyse's face when her name was read for the first time was priceless.
The challenge was disgusting and I have to say that I miss when the reward and immunity challenges were separate. Now that they're together, we just get to see a whole lot more of Branden crying at camp. That boy is driving me insane.
I like Ozzy but I honestly think he's lacking in some social skills. He's a tad awkward and what's kind of dummy says he's playing for himself to his WHOLE tribe? That's like asking to be voted out next.

Pedak said...

Probst: "Player, the Tribe has spoken. But you have a chance to reenter this game. Grab your stuff and head to Sour Grapes Island."

iAmMe said...

Ozzy is such a tool!
I CANNOT believe they ate the meat that they all spit on. Effing disgusting but I guess if your starving!?!?
I agree that the show is predictable. I wish there was more than an hour a week. Its hard to get into with only an hour.

shipaddict said... visions in my head...choirchick, I'm going to have to go bleach my brain after you put those images of skinny little Cochran in my head...

I have noticed the editing too. Every show, they seem to focus on the 2 that will be going up for tribal almost from the absolute start. Gets kinda boring.

Ozzy probably won't even make it to the merge. He's playing like he's only half in the game and he's assuming (up until tonight anyway) he has full control of his tribe. He does absolutely nothing to keep in touch with Dawn, Cochran, and Jim. He just assumes they'll do what he wants them to do. That kinda makes the tribe ripe for a hostile takeover! Tonight will either be his wake up call or his demise.

Steve said...


I like your recap, along with the EW one. Thank you for monitoring the comments for spoilers.

I'm enjoying this season much more than the previous two. Regarding the foreshadowing, I see that they do pretty much spell out the two who will be receiving the votes, but I was genuinely surprised that Elyse went.

I'm curious to see what kind of effect Keith and Whitney's votes for Dawn will have for them.

I, too, am tired of hearing about the Hantz family and seeing Brandon's tears every time he gets air time.

Sean said...


Thanks, Dalton Ross is great, and I have loved reading him for years. The nasty commenters at EW think that I'm just trying to lure people away from there but that's not it at all.

I remember when I would be done reading Dalton's recap, my first thought was "I wish I had something else on Survivor to read", so that's why I post there, to try and give Survivor fans something else after they're done with Dalton's recap.

That board needs moderation to control the spoilers and the hateful behaviour.

Steve said...

I've never understood why EW doesn't have registered comments. You end up with people posting spoilers, as well as multiple impersonators trying to out-insult each other.

Keep up the good work.

Julie said...

Thanks Sean!

Brackens said...

another week, yet no spiders... and really just a few nature shots. I predict they are saving the spider shots for Halloween.

with the Stacey diatribe, they should have the Mom from Airplane who spoke "jive" - (the mom from Leave it to beaver) translating for her. Nice job Sean on the translation -- we too rewound it a few times to hear what she had said.

I liked the no hand chew challenge when it was in Brazil - a link to the Piranha. this time it was just gross. And they got to keep the meat afterwords? what about all the spit that in the basket too? ewwwh.

thought we were going to have an awkward moment with Mikila and/or Brandon getting meat caught in their teeth and having to have the other pull it out..who knows where that would have led to.

is it time to get rid of Cochran's shirt. really he looked like Dracula with the high collars. I liked him better as sleeveless Cochran.

Great blind side on Elise - Ozzie seemed to be a little too comfortable/confident -- that is usually the downfall in this game, overconfidence -- they all need a little paranoia to survive. like last season with the buddy system.

I would love to see another reshuffling of the tribes before the merge.

Anonymous said...

There are so many socially awkward people on Survivor this season, it's painfull to watch sometimes!! If Ozzy tells his tribe that he is playing for himself then he just put his name down as the next player to get voted out on his tribe. How stupid can you be.

Zenith said...

I enjoy your posts! After I read an EW recap I always think, "I want more" so jumping over to you is perfect. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I think you may be off on the transcript... I too paused more than a few times and came up with.

"They over there listening to all of the Benjamins halloween jokes. Ahh Chucky The Cheese jokes. They eh eh they want it. He going off of loyalty. Got then see, Oh Ben so loyalty. Come on. Everyday got a story. I wasnt buying it, heh eh hehe, No. So they treat like yesterday like the tribe that was all cahoots. Benjamin lets give a hug. Pssst... Keep that hug. Boop for me cause it wasnt real."

Anonymous said...

Brandon is so clueless! Saying Mikayla is prejudice for the Hantz comment...uh, didn't he judge Mikayla just because she's 'hot'? He is horrid and needs to go.

From what I recall of Ozzie's prior seasons he's always been a bit socially awkward and kind of a douche. No big surprise.

lilemoevie said...

I always read the EW recaps as well as this one and I have NO idea why people are such haters on you. it's very strange!

That being sad, that challenge was SO gross and you are right - it was so mean that they didn't just give them the rest of the pig - why would you want pig that was already in someone elses' mouth?

why do Keith and Whitney look so pretty and clean - they have great camera hair for whatever day they are on now.

I find it strange how everyone just rails on Cochran, you figure eventually he will be voted out and do you want the tribe to treat you the way they treated him? He is awkward and says strange things but why treat him so terribly?

lilemoevie said...

also did anyone else think that their complaints about their challenge "injuries" were just pathetic? "my lips are cracked and cut" maybe its because you've been without chapstick for 2 weeks.

I mean really considering the challenges other seasons have done when people are being dragged or tackled or thrown on the floor....

R.P. McMurphy said...

I'm glad you liked me pulling out some high school geography terms! When Stacy was going off this week I couldn't help thinking, "I hope Sean doesn't ask for another translation, that's just too much!"

While it was taking place I felt like it would be good strategy to actually spit as much as you could after spitting out the meat. Everyone doing that would add up to a lot more than two ounces. Little did I know the winners would actually wind up keeping and eating that pork. I know Survivor had a couple of those gross eating challenges early on but I've felt that they moved away from the "gross-out" factor and I think they are better for it. This went back on that a bit and I didn't like this challenge.

So glad God was able to drop in again and help Coach and Brandon. I could use a little help paying the bills this month so if He could help out with that, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Sean, you're ingrained in my Survivor watching. Definitely agree that the editing is blatant and spoilerish. And the spelling, my God (there He is again) the spelling! Knew you'd be all over Jim for that one.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to kick it to start up a bee's nest...

Vyrastas said...

That meat challenge was the best one in a long time. I'm getting tired of puzzles, we need more "primal" challenges like this.

Speaking of challenges, anyone else annoyed by how they're just reusing old challenges for Redemption Island? I know they reuse some for all-star seasons, but still...

Glad to see Cochran playing the game and staying in there. I like both him and Jim and if they aren't stupid they might be able to go a long way.

Anonymous said...

I'm still a little confused why they didnt just vote out Ozzy this week? He's not doing that much and causing problems in camp. See ya buddy....

Sean said...

I'm absolutely SHOCKED and appalled to find out that "Chipwrecks", who has posted above twice in this comments section, has been blatantly stealing content from my recap and posting it as his own.

Word-For-Word, might as well be cutting and pasting.

I don't even know what to say. I'm stunned. I have emailed him and given him the oppportunity to remove the content before I file a DMCA complaint.

Go look at his recap on this episode and compare it to mine...

Choirchick22 said...

Wow. Why would someone steal and then comment on what they stole? That's begging to start shit.

Sean said...

If you go to the site, he has now removed the content, but denied that he took it from me, which is pretty ridiculous when you see the word-for-word comparisons. I'm glad I saved screen captures in the event it happens again.

Choirchick22 said...

I dunno. The recap looks the same to me.

Ashlea said...

I read every week. Last season and this one. I just never think to comment. This time I will say that a part of me is a little sad to see Stacey go, only because I was really entertained by listening to her nonsensical speech. It literally was amazing to me. Does she honestly think she is saying words??

Anonymous said...

Sean, I love reading your recaps! My favorite interview of the episode was Cochran talking about Ozzy 3.0. Hilarious and right on point! I used to really like Ozzy. Now he always has this dumb look on his face all the time and gives off an "I'm better than you" vibe. Chipwrecks - I think they kept Ozzy because he helps them so much in challenges. But I agree, I'd love to see him go sooner than later. I'd really like to see Cochran go all the way. Personally, I think he's really funny.

RonS said...

The OZ Train is derailed....I loved this episode..and its the first one in a long time. The reason..Keith and Whitney actually made a half, big time move (it would have been a whole move if they hadn't chickened out and voted for Dawn instead of Elsye). But a half move is better than none. It takes alot of guts to make this move. Last season, would have been different if ANYbody would have made a move like this. I am glad to see that backstab courage return to this game. Makes it a great deal more enjoyable.

Thanks to Jim for initiating it and to the aforementioned Keith and Whitney for their courage to do it.

Kay Steenerson Franklin said...

The term is "stir up a hornet's nest"