Survivor South Pacific Recap: “Sometimes You Just Gotta Sack Up And Go For It”

Last week’s episode of Survivor South Pacific featured Brandon breaking down (again), a heated discussion of loyalty vs. strength, and everyone’s favourite Lingerie Football Player heading to Redemption (Non) Island. This week, would Mikayla be able to end Christine’s winning streak? Why are the tribes wearing war paint? And who is coming up with a crazy plan?

My Random Thoughts:

- I missed the “Previously on Survivor” segment since my PVR wasn’t working at the beginning of the episode, but that may be a good thing since I’m sick of the constant reminders of what you need to remember for this episode. Maybe I’ll skip it every week.

- Night Vision Recap: Brandon is unpredictable, and Coach thinks there may come a time to “put a bullet in his head.” Pretty harsh considering last week’s episode ended with The Dragon Slayer telling his Apprentice, “I love you, man.”

- I love that we had the Redemption (Non) Island Duel right off the top with no buildup whatsoever. Let’s get this shit out of the way. Angry C and Mikayla had to take apart a crate, build a bridge, and then do a puzzle, all with the pieces from the crate. Jeff told us “this is a ‘do or die’ duel”, which despite the awesome alliteration, is kind of redundant, since aren’t ALL of them ‘do or die’?

Albert tried to help Mikayla, Probst suggestively hollered “both women getting into a rhythm”, and then offered up another obvious nugget with regards to the puzzle planks: “the ones that have a pattern are part of your puzzle.” Really, Jeff?

Mikaya appeared to have the solution, but it wasn’t right, and Angry C was able to get it together and solve the puzzle first to unbelievably win her fifth Duel in a row. Did you notice that neither Angry C nor Mikayla said a word until the challenge was over? No Probst pre-chat or anything, like it was a rushed way to just get it out of the way and get on with the rest of the episode. Mikayla deserved better than that. Raw deal.

After the Duel, Ozzy said that he was worried because if Angry C gets back into the game, she might “go to the other side.” You mean the side that voted her out? The side that she gripes about at every Duel? The side she gives the finger to when someone tries to cheer her on? That’s who you’re concerned about her aligning with at a potential merge?

And now you want to consider having someone go to Redemption (Non) Island on purpose to try and defeat her? This is the stupidest idea I’ve seen on this show since J.T. handed Russell an Immunity Idol after a challenge.

- Ozzy’s “worst case scenario plan” involved handing his Idol off to someone and volunteering himself to go to Redemption. Correction on what I just wrote: THIS is now the stupidest thing I’ve seen on the show. “It might be one of those big moves that I have to make”, Ozzy told us…because “sometimes you just gotta, like, sack up, and go for it.”

- I was thrilled to see the return of Dragon Slayer Tai Chi in the water, if only to hear Coach say “I am not worthy” 37 times in a row, which only makes me think of this. And the return of the Eagle’s Cry at the end…classic.

- In order to build team unity around the Immunity Idol, Coach created a ruse about finding the Idol. He felt he had to because he, Albert, and Sophie knew that he had it, but, as he put it, “people like Rick, and Brandon and Edna want to find the Idol.” People like them? Don’t you just mean the three of them? If you three already know, and those three don’t, there’s no need to sugarcoat “people like” them…it’s THEM.

- Upolu prayed for the search, and then prayed for victory in the next challenge. This is the part where I once again remind everyone that GOD DOESN’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS ON SURVIVOR!!!!

Sophie doesn’t put a lot of weight into Coach’s fake prayer since he already has the Idol, and she correctly commented on the insincerity of it all. I now officially love Sophie for saying that.

After the Idol was ultimately revealed to (people like) Brandon, Edna, and Rick, Brandon said it was thanks to the prayer they offered. How foolish do you think he feels at home watching this? And will he be upset at Coach at the Live Reunion show?

- For the Immunity/Reward challenge, the tribes were provided with paint to adorn themselves with what appeared to be an effort to re-create the greatest WWF Tag Teams of the 80’s: I saw the Road Warriors, Demolition, and even the Warlord and Barbarian. Maybe Sting and The Ultimate Warrior too, but you have to be a die-hard wrestling fan to know that they were a tag team named The Blade Runners before they became solo stars. My point is, all the teams looked ridiculous. (extra marks for Brandon’s painted-on bra)

- The Reward was a trip to the “Survivor Cinema”, where teams would be able to get themselves incredibly sick on candy, and watch the new Adam Sandler movie, Jack and Jill. Reality TV hasn’t been this un-realistic since Gervase got a single piece of pizza flown in by helicopter in Season 1.

- For the challenge itself, it was a variation on the caller leading blindfolded teammates to get bags to solve a puzzle. These challenges are always good for some injuries, and this one was no exception.

Jeff called out Cochran for messing up the “rope management” (screw you and your teal shirt, Probst!), and Coach kept grabbing his balls while calling out instructions. In the end, Upolu won, and I was honestly sickened at the blatant insincerity from Coach and his forced prayer both during and after the game. Turns out the paint served no purpose other than to make them look ridiculous.

Ozzy was angry and went Kung Fu Panda on the wall, Brandon threw the finger skyward once again for thanks, and God responded by saying “You get to see Sandler first, my son!”

- The Survivor Cinema was product placement right out of the Big Brother textbook. You and your staged reactions get no more time in my recap.

- At Savaii, Ozzy blames Cochran, and the group decides to send Woody Aiken to Redemption (Non) Island after a period of constant verbal abuse. Cochran was confused by the turnaround from Ozzy, saying “instead of the Trojan Horse, they’re sending the Court Jester.”

- But the next morning, Ozzy reconsidered and decided that he should be the one to go…much like he did an about-face last week on the “Free Agent” thing. What I’m taking from this, is that with all the flipping and flopping Ozzy does…he really needs to sleep on things! Seriously, the next time Ozzy says something that his Tribe doesn’t agree with, everyone should just say “let’s talk about it in the morning.”

The rest of the tribe was reluctant, because this is A RIDICULOUS IDEA! They have no idea when then merge is coming, and as Keith and Jim aggressively (and correctly) pointed out, if they have to compete in another challenge, they now have a significantly weaker Tribe.

- At Tribal council, Ozzy talked about making this decision because he had a dream. “This time, my heart and my gut is saying ‘get your ass to Redemption Island and prove to your tribe that you are worth keeping in this game.’ ”

He then talked about creating a story where Cochran is the bad guy, and can serve as a double agent after a merge since Upolu would think he is on the outs with Savaii. That’s actually pretty smart, if it wasn’t a part of the DUMBEST IDEA IN SURVIVOR HISTORY!

- Even if there is a merge, and IF Ozzy wins, I still think this is foolish. Jeff flat out asked him about it in this awesome exchange:

Jeff: If you don’t win the duel tomorrow, you go out a bigger fool than you did the last time.
Ozzy: Yeah.

Honestly, how else could you answer other than a resigned “yeah”?

- Just before voting, Ozzy seemed to change his mind, which fooled me for a moment, and had me believing that perhaps he had come to his senses and not followed through on what may be the DUMBEST MOVE IN SURVIVOR HISTORY…but he was just kidding.

- In the end, Ozzy handed off the Idol to Cochran (with a promise to give it back), and headed off to Redemption (Non) Island for his upcoming Duel with Angry C.

Next week: Will Ozzy’s Gamble Pay Off?

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