May 11, 2010: Lost Recap: Across The Sea

I’ve mentioned in the past how I try my best to go in to each episode this season with as little information as possible. Other than the previous week’s preview and the title of the episode, I try to not have any advance intel. But after seeing the preview for “Across The Sea”, it was a lot more difficult than usual, and the thought of what appeared to be a final word on the Island’s mythology had me on a whole new level of giddiness and excitement.

After last week’s emotional roller-coaster of an episode, would finding out the history of Jacob and the Man in Black satiate viewers? I thought the timing of the episode was fantastic, sticking us back in time, and away from both the Island and Flash-Sideways World. We still have to taste the bitterness of losing Sayid and Sun and Jin for another week before we can continue on in that timeline.

As the episode started and we saw pieces of debris strewn about the ocean, I instinctively said out loud, "Frank?", because I was wondering what we were about to see. Obviously someone was about to surface from the water, but as the tension built and I started to realize that I was indeed not seeing part of a submarine, I figured we were in for something unexpected. And sure enough, an unknown female arose.
As she came out of the water, it became evident that she was very pregnant, and after finding fresh water, she looked up to find C.J. Cregg staring down at her. Well, obviously it wasn't President Bartlett's Press Secretary, but an unknown woman played by Allison Janney. I was thrilled to see her, as I've always been a huge fan of hers, long before The West Wing. (Remember Big Night?)

I was confused by the language she and Claudia were speaking, specifically because Janney's character spoke with no accent whatsoever. And as the two of them were speaking, they both just switched to English, which they both spoke perfectly. As she tended to Claudia's injured ankle, I was reminded of Claire tending to Jin's leg after the bear trap incident earlier this season.

We learned that both of them arrived "by accident", and as Claudia fired questions at her, she responded with what seemed to be another knowing nod to us Losties from the writers, "Every question I answer will simply lead to another question." Well, with only 2 episodes remaining, I sure as hell hope there aren't going to be any new questions!
And as Claudia prepared to give birth to Jacob and the MIB, and declared "It's coming"...who of you were reminded of the scene at the end of last year's finale, after Jacob was stabbed, when he said "They're coming." I definitely was. After baby Jacob was born, and it became clear that there was a second baby coming, we all knew that the MIB was about to be revealed as Jacob's twin, but instead of a big plume of black smoke coming out of Claudia's 'magic baby door' (Thank you Craig Ferguson for that term), we simply got just another baby.

As I craned my ear to hear the name that was given to the second baby, I received a slap in the face in the form of this episode's "Jacob had a thing for numbers", as Claudia declared that she had only picked out one name. As punishment, Jacob's mother (who I shall refer to for the rest of this post as JM, since I have nothing better) brained her with a rock and took the babies...but not before apologizing first. Pretty vicious.

As we come back from our first commercial break and I shield my eyes from the guest stars once again (which would turn to be irrelevant), we see a young MIB walking along the beach and finding the box that would turn out to be his lifelong game with Jacob. I was shocked at how much young MIB looked like Boone, and young Jacob looked like that kid in the forest. Wait...that's because he is the kid in the forest! One of the most obvious questions answered in the first 5 minutes.

JM was weaving back home in the caves, recalling the scene last year where we were introduced to Jacob weaving in the base of the statue. When she asked Jacob where her brother was (for the love of GOD just tell us his name!), he responded by saying that he was "staring out at the ocean", a line that he would use later to describe what Jack needed to do at the Lighthouse. As he tried to cover for his brother, JM used mother's guilt to coax it out of him, asking Jacob if he loved her before he sang like a canary.
As JM then went out to the beach to talk to the young MIB, we witnessed a very interesting conversation between the two of them:

JM: "Jacob doesn't know how to lie. He's not like you."
MIB: "Why? What am I like?"
JM: "You're...special."

Why is he so special? What is so different about him than Jacob? It seemed at this point in the episode that Jacob's relationship with his mother was antagonistic and steeped in guilt and responsibility, where MIB's relationship with his mother was based on love. Was this because, as Jacob declared later, she loved him more?

My theory is that whatever entity/being that their mother is...she was already aware of the characteristics of each, and she already knew that Jacob would be trustworthy and would follow her instructions due to a sense of family obligation, whereas MIB would not. Therefore she had to do a little extra with him, small things like leaving a box for him on the beach...

We also learned that MIB wanted to know what is "across the sea", to which his mother responded "There is nowhere else. There is only the Island." And as the young MIB continued to prod his mother the way that inquisitive youngsters do, he asked about death, and was told "that is something you will never have to worry about." I love that we're getting the backstory...that we're getting the proof of what we all suspected or assumed...but I want to know why. I don't think I'm going to get my answers.

Watching young Jacob chase a boar through the jungle is what I'm going to label this episode's Mirror Image #1: remembering back to that first time that John Locke chased a boar through the jungle in Season 1. I was confused at the sight of other people on the Island ("The Others"?), but not as confused as the boys were, who went back to their mother and started asking questions again.
"They're not like us. They don't belong here. We are here for a reason." they were told. And when the boys invariably asked what the reason was, after a long pause, she responded "It's not time yet."

What followed was a mild rant that echoed exactly what MIB said to Jacob on the beach last season, "They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt, and it always ends the same." Interesting to see that scene, and hear the words coming from their mother's mouth, knowing that it gets ingrained in their brains to be having the same conversation some 30+ years later.

I have to point out that while I get the good vs. evil/black vs. white thematic methods that have been used lately have been about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the head. Yes, I get that Jacob is good, and MIB is bad. I see that they use the relevant black and white stones in their game, and I have seen that as adults, they are dressed in light and dark clothing. But the hair colour, the clothing as children, and even the damn cloths that the babies were wrapped in...it was always Jacob = light and MIB = dark. We get it!
Mom decided to take a walk in the woods with the boys after the revelation of the other people on the Island...and by 'walk in the woods', I mean 'blindfold your kids and take them to a hole of light at the end of a stream.' As we saw our first shot of that opening, I let out a legitimate "What the F*ck!?" I mean, seriously...what the hell was that? Was the briefcase from Pulp Fiction in there? All that we got before the commercial was "this is the reason we're here."
I'm not going to go into the explanation of what JM said that the light was, because it was all seemingly filled with rainbows and unicorns. But we did learn that "if the light goes out here, it goes out everywhere", which seemed pretty important. Look, I know that with the music and the explanation of everything, it all seemed very Ferngully or Narnia or some sort of sugary children's tale, but I bought it. I know some people were turned off by it and thought it was relatively cheesy (and perhaps it was), but I went with it.

I think the most relevant thing that came out of this scene was when the young MIB declared 'It's beautiful", which I'm going to call Mirror Image #2: mirroring John Locke's statement upon looking into what we only knew then as "the Smoke Monster". Now that we know what the Smoke Monster was borne out of, it makes complete sense. Plus, it laid the groundwork for the concept that MIB would seek out the light for the next 30 years.

I was confused as to why young MIB saw the vision of Claudia, but Jacob did not. The only answer that Claudia gave was that it was because she was dead. I didn't understand what that meant...was MIB the Hurley of the time...the only one who could see and communicate with the dead? Or was Claudia some sort of entity (like Yemi and Isabella) that was created by a creature that pre-dated the Smoke Monster we know, in an effort to mislead and manipulate? Whatever it was, I'm going to call it Mirror Image #3: recalling when Ben saw the apparition of his dead mother Emily on the Island. The camera work in that scene was very similar to when Emily appeared to Ben in "The Man Behind The Curtain."
And then when Claudia revealed to MIB that she was his mother...come on, how Star Wars was that? The revelation that who you thought was your parent is not your parent...I almost expected Claudia to cut off MIB's hand and for him to end up jumping down a well. (that almost happens later!)

When MIB tells Jacob about Claudia, and his plan to leave their mother, a fight ensues and we see Mirror Image #4: as Jacob attacks his brother and pounds him mercilessly, the same way that Jack did with Ben in the Season 3 Finale, "Through The Looking Glass". Again, the same interspersed shots of one person relentlessly beating on the other and a bloodied face. And in both situations, it was due to an angry individual who didn't believe what he was told by the other...which in both cases...was the truth.
So we see the family split that caused MIB to be separated from his family, and we learn that Jacob has agreed to stay, because he trusts his mother, and as a result, he will never be able to leave the Island. JM explains to Jacob that she "needed him to stay good", making me wonder again if all of her efforts to show as much love to the MIB were, as I suggested earlier, an attempt to sway him away from 'the dark side'.

Flash forward 30 years to see a grown Jacob watching a grown MIB, and joining up again for one of their black stone/white stone games in the woods. I found it interesting to see that they still kept contact with each other, and to see how bitter and disillusioned MIB had become after living with 'People' for that long, and that they were now just "a means to an end", which to him, meant going home to that unknown place 'Across The Sea.' Looks like Mom was right about them after all.
He showed Jacob--with one curving chuck of the magic dagger--there were strange things that they had discovered on the Island. He pleaded with Jacob to come with him, and you could see the true emotion in his eyes. As much as I believe that Flocke/MIB is pure evil, at this point...he still wanted his brother to join him.

Down in the well (dug by hand as we had already been told by Flocke), MIB reveals to his mother that after 30 years, he has finally found the source of the light that she showed them as children. And now he plans to create what we all have come to know as The Frozen Donkey Wheel.
He quotes back what she told him before...that he's 'special', and as she tries to say goodbye to him, we see the emotion he feels...entirely unlike the emotionless monster we've come to see him as in the current Island timeline. Then, she again apologizes (as she did to Claudia) before smashing his head against the wall. (I won't make the Desmond/Kelvin Inman comparison as a Mirror Image since one was inadvertent, and one was clearly intended, although definite similarities exist.)

I'm not sure what to make of the scene at the Light Tunnel with Jacob and his mother when she handed over the reigns of protection to him. What was the significance of the wine, other than the obvious biblical comparisons...right down to the wording of "take the cup and drink"? What did we learn in this scene, though: a) that the light is the source/heart of the Island, b) that going down there is a fate "much worse than dying", and c) that it was always supposed to be Jacob that was going to be the next protector.

However, the most important thing I think we get coming out of this scene is when Jacob was told by his mother "You don't really have a choice." I think that is the key moment that led to Jacob's methods...that there is always a choice.

I loved the scene after MIB woke up from the attack by his mother. After returning to camp, finding his game box, and then seeing the dead bodies slaughtered and strewn about (Mirror Image #5: Dharma barracks after the gas attack), we saw him go from sadness to anger to despair...all in one spinning cyclical camera shot with smoke rising behind him at all angles. Nice touch.

As JM sent Jacob away to get firewood, it was evident to me by her resigned sigh as she walked away, that she knew MIB would be back at the caves. And as we saw how he destroyed the weaving (as he did in the foot of the statue earlier this season), we also saw him murder his mother. As she died, she said something which, no matter how many times I watched it over again, I couldn't figure out. I was hoping it was his name, but alas, it was indiscernible.

She did, however, say that she wouldn't let MIB leave because she loved him...and then said 'Thank You' before she died. Does this mean that she didn't want MIB to be saddled with the burden she had? Again, as with last week, it's getting late and I'm starting to ramble and not make sense...even to myself.
I was impressed with the scene where MIB was sucked into the light, and we saw the birth of the Smoke Monster, but I know some people aren't going to like it. I did enjoy the imagery of the discarded body laying by the river...which Jacob picked up and carried back to the cave to rest with their mother in what would become known as the Adam and Eve skeletons.

What I didn't like was how we were pounded over the head with the Adam and Eve revelation, flashing back to the original scene with Jack and Kate and Locke. That was kind of insulting, to be honest, and I was pretty disappointed.

A couple great lines in the episode that don't deserve a breakdown, but I still want to mention:

- "I've made it so that you can never hurt each other."
- "One day you can make up your own game and everyone else will have to follow your rules."

A couple of questions for you:

- Do you think the MIB being 'special' is related to Desmond being 'special'?
- Did you feel sympathy for MIB? For Jacob? For JM?
- Why the hell isn't Titus Welliver on TV every week?

I loved how this episode followed the model of Ab Aeterno, and not the traditional Lost storytelling structure, in the sense that it followed one story sequentially instead of bouncing around between the present and the Flash Back/Forward/Sideways elements.

We’ve wanted answers for 6 years. We got a LOT of them tonight.

Were you satisfied?

I was. But I still felt like I needed more...

One final note before I wrap this up. The response I’ve been receiving since my recaps have been appearing on DarkUFO has been overwhelming, to say the least. I wanted to take a moment to thank those of you who stop to read, who comment, and who click on through to visit and explore my blog (http://sfurfaro.blogspot.com) as well.

I’m not used to getting this much feedback and commentary, but it’s been a real treat, so thank you once again. Some of you have also found me on Facebook, so feel free to add me on there as well. New blog posts get posted there as soon as they go up. I look forward to your comments this week.

May 11, 2010: Yes, I'm Canadian...And I Don't Love Hockey

I’m not a huge hockey fan. Well, I suppose that’s not really fair because I follow the OHL (Ontario Hockey League) pretty closely, and there’s nothing I’d rather watch than one of my son’s hockey games, but when it comes to the NHL, I’ve never been one of those rabid Canadian fans who lives and dies by the puck. Growing up, my older brother and all of my friends were hockey fans so I had a peripheral interest, but it didn’t go further than the current Toronto Maple Leafs of the era: Darryl Sittler, Borje Salming, and Mike Palmateer to name a few. When we would play road hockey as kids, we would always yell out who we were going to be, but if I was in net and yelled “I’m Palmateer”, that didn’t mean I could tell you his stats, or even pick him out on the street if he walked by without his mask on.

I’m my teens, I gravitated toward the Calgary Flames. My best friend lived next door, and he was a Flames fan, so I think that’s why I came along for the ride. As I got older, proximity dictated that I become a “Leaf Fan”, but other than that amazing run in the 1993 playoffs, it wasn’t that prominent. Although that run in 1993 was fun. I was in my third year of University, and we would gather at my friend Rob’s house where we would watch the games in a big group. I remember that series vs. the St. Louis Blues when Curtis Joseph was the Blues goalie, and he was stopping 50-60-and sometimes 70 shots per game.

The one thing that has been standard in my NHL Fan-dom, is a complete and utter distaste for the Montreal Canadiens. I’m not sure what brought it on, but it has always been there. Maybe it was the fact that Calgary beat Montreal in the 1989 Stanley Cup Final. Maybe it was just that if you grew up liking the Leafs, then Montreal was “the enemy”. Maybe I just don’t like Quebec. I’m not sure what it was, but I always took great pleasure in watching the Habs lose.

Now, that whole preamble about my hockey history is to talk about this year’s NHL playoffs.

To be fair, I don’t devour the hockey playoffs like some people do. A few years ago, at our regular Wednesday night poker game, it was the first game of the NHL playoffs, and a friend insisted we have the opening game on the TV (which wasn’t even on the same floor), so he could keep running upstairs from the poker game to see the score on the TV. At one point near the end of the game, he just sat out his hands (it was a tournament, so he was losing blinds and antes) so he could watch the end of the game. I said to him, “Are you serious? This is the first game of the first round of a three-month playoff season!” But he had to see the game.

Coming into this playoff season, all I kept hearing was how the Eastern Conference Playoffs were eventually going to see another matchup of the league’s two best players: Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin. Well, that became an impossibility after Washington was eliminated in the first round at the hands of the Montreal Canadiens. And now, the Canadiens are one game away from knocking off Pittsburgh as well. It’s as if Montreal is single-handedly telling Gary Bettman “You know that Marquee Matchup you wanted? Sorry, we’ll take ‘em both out.” I’m finding it really difficult to root against Montreal on this playoff run, and that tears at the very fabric of my being. It’s a great story.

But then I thought of something.

There’s a great line in a song by Sloan called "Coax Me", where they declare “It’s not the band I hate, it’s their fans” (which was my mid-90s mantra for the Tragically Hip), and I think that’s what it is that turns me off about Montreal. And not just the arrogant, ‘we-have-more-championships-than-anyone-else’ elitist attitude. I’m a Yankees fan after all, it would be pretty hypocritical to find fault in that.

But when I read that the streets had to be closed down, riot police had to be called in, and tear gas was used after rowdy fans spilled into the streets after a first-round playoff series win…come on. Are you serious? You didn’t win the Stanley Cup, you didn’t even make your Conference Final…all you did was win your opening round series. And don’t give me any garbage about it was the first time ever that an 8-seed beat a 1-seed after trailing 3-1 in a series. I can make up any stat I want to make something sound unbelievable. Did you know that when Mike Cammalleri scored two goals last night against Pittsburgh, it was the first time in NHL History that a player with a name ending in a vowel scored two straight goals at home while playing in a Game 6 vs a team that had a bird as a mascot? First time EVER!

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I heard this morning that Montreal police AGAIN had to close off some streets and send riot police out after last night’s Montreal win, which saw the Canadiens tie the series with Pittsburgh 3-3, forcing a Game 7 on Wednesday. So now, riot police are necessary when Montreal just ties the series? Are you kidding me?

Just when I thought they were giving me a reason to cheer for them, they’re giving me equal reasons to cheer against them.

May 9, 2010: Amazing Race Recap: Finale Night

As Dan Pious so astutely declared in this episode, "This is, like, the Super Bowl of the Amazing Race." I'm not sure if the season finale of the 16th episode of a Reality TV show (which, admittedly, I love) is comparable to the most-watched television event in the world every year...but we'll let him have his comparison. It's Finale Night, and we're all in a good mood, so let's cut Dan a break on that one. I wouldn't want him to have another seizure in a taxi like last week.

As I mentioned, this is the 16th season of the Amazing Race, but when are they going to get with the times and start having an extended episode for the Finale and/or a reunion special? I look forward to the Survivor and Big Brother reunions almost as much as finding out who won, and TAR should get with the program. Imagine how great a reunion would have been after this season?

And if you're only going to give us a one-hour Finale, then ditch the 6-minute season recap at the beginning of the episode before you even roll the opening credits. There's no time! (Although I did enjoy the montage of Brent and Caite's mistakes throughout the season.)

All three teams found themselves at the airport waiting for the same flight to San Francisco. Then Backpack-gate happened as Jordan placed his bag between the other two teams who had arrived before him, and declared himself to be second in line due to the little-known 'backpack proximity lineup' rule. This was kind of idiotic, and I was surprised that Jet and Cord didn't say anything at the time, even though Cord appeared to be sleeping, but clearly wasn't since everybody was high-fiving and congratulating each other.

Then when the ticket agent opened, Jet and Cord made a bunch of threats about 'knocking teeth in" and "the gloves coming off", but then just stood there and allowed it to happen. I love the Cowboys, but I certainly don't find them threatening or intimidating at all...I mean, if I was threatened by either of them, I feel like the worst that would happen is a noogie. Either way, the idle threats made no difference as Dan and Jordan booked their flights first.

At the end of the situation, Jordan proclaimed to the camera "You can hate the game all you want, just don't hate the player, you know?" which sounded idiotic because he said it backwards! It's "Don't hate the player. Hate the game.", and nothing sound less thug-like than getting a bad-ass catch phrase wrong. Could you imagine if he had said "It's time to rumble. Let's get ready to do it!" See? Sounds stupid, doesn't it?

But then he added insult to injury as he patted the Cowboys on the shoulder after he got their tickets, and advised them "Don't hate." Again, Jordan...please remember you are not a tough guy, and the only one less intimidating than the Cowboys on this race is you. Although I do have to give them credit for the 'move up to the empty seats in First Class' move. How have we never seen this before in 16 seasons of The Amazing Race...and how did the other teams not notice?

Off the teams went to San Francisco, which automatically reminded me of Season 2 of TAR, which also had the teams racing to the finish line there. Oh how I loved Tara and Wil from Season 2, watching him constantly yell at her, and declare how well he knew San Francisco...only to lose in the finale.

As the teams went to pick up a clue at The Presidio, I was reminded of the classic movie of the same name starring Sean Connery, Mark Harmon, and my adolescent crush, Meg Ryan...and it saddened me because back 1988, Meg Ryan was still attractive, instead of the melting wax mannequin she has become now.But I digress...back to the teams racing around the City by the Bay, where Brent and Caite were saddled with another inept cab driver, which led them to stop and consult...wait for it...a map. (Please insert your own Caite + Maps joke here, I've already done too many this season.)
The map apparently told them the correct way, but for some reason, this information didn't make it to the cab driver, who kept driving around aimlessly, frustrating the Models to no end, and leading to what is arguably my favourite exchange in this entire season.

Caite: (to the cab driver) "Dumbass."
Brent: "Babe, you gotta get a grip."
Caite: "Shut up, you're not helping."
Brent: "You're not helping."
Caite: "I want to punch you in the face."

Here's what I love about this exchange: a) that this was the second time this episode that Caite had threatened to punch Brent in the face. Healthy relationship, huh? (Wouldn't you think that models would be considerate enough to threaten to punch somewhere that wouldn't bruise, like a good old-fashioned kidney punch?), b) that Caite accuses Brent of not helping, when that's really all he's trying to do by attempting to calm her down, and c) that, even though he's right that Caite isn't helping, Brent's juvenile response to her can only escalate the situation. When have you ever known the "You shut up. No YOU shut up," argument to ever result in defusing the situation? Never.

But face punches and tower climbs aside, the teams soon found themselves heading off to Industrial Light and Magic for their next challenge. As I stated in yesterday's post, it seems that it always comes back to Star Wars, doesn't it? I loved that they had to go and get the clue from a place called "The Yoda Fountain", because it reminded me of this picture from my trip to Las Vegas last month.
I have to say, the Star Wars challenge at ILM was definitely the best challenge I've ever seen on TAR. THIS is what it's supposed to be, not riding a damn elevator and grabbing a clue like in Dubai last season. The challenge itself was fantastic, and the twist (pardon the pun) at the end of having to figure out how to read the spinning clue was even better.
A couple of thoughts from this challenge. First, I thought that Cord yelling while Dan was trying to direct Jordan was hilarious, especially after the earlier airplane counter encounter. Second, the black cowboy hat on Jet's animated character was a nice touch. Third, why on earth did Jet not just walk into Jordan when he was blocked? I mean, I can understand the cowboys are trying to be the honourable guys, but there's a fine line between honour and pushover. Unless there was a rule specifically stating that you couldn't make contact with another team, it made no sense. But then again, there should have been a rule about impeding another team's progress.
And I'll leave it to you to make your own joke on Jordan's comment about wearing the motion-capture suit, "I strap on that skinny suit with these balls all around me." It's just too easy, and I'm not taking the bait...not even on Finale Night.

I thought Brent and Caite would be a disaster at this challenge, but they were surprisingly good at it...although in the cab immediately after, Caite turned to Brent and said "Brent, where is our money and stuff?"...and I missed Brent's response because I was laughing too hard. Add it to the "Plenty of Mistakes" montage because we wouldn't see The Models again until other 2 teams crossed the finish line and the Race was over.

This week's "Bro" count for Dan and Jordan was a record-setting 21 times in one episode...including 7 times in one challenge, as Dan scaled the Coit Tower. And apparently, Jet and Cord thought they were in a Speedy Gonzalez cartoon, because they kept hollering "Arriba!" for no reason. (Although we did hear the old standard "Oh My Gravy!" a few times.)

I always love the final memory challenge because it is so ridiculously complex and at least one teams gets horribly stuck on one part. But this year's "put the legs in the right order" was ridiculously easy, and Jordan had written them all down (What is this? The Mole?), which made it even easier. What ever happened to labelled surfboards that you had to search through, or the jigsaw puzzle in the Niagara Gorge for the (horrible) Amazing Race Family Edition? There used to be great final challenges! We went from the Star Wars challenge to this? Very very weak.

Despite the fake drama that we saw at the end, it was evident that Dan and Jordan were going to win it after they completed the final challenge. I have to say that I was surprisingly disappointed that they won, especially since I didn't really have a problem with them all season. And as much as I was rooting for the Cowboys, I didn't really love them enough to be disappointed for that reason. I think that I was disappointed with what happened at the ticket counter at the beginning of the episode. Certain things like U-Turns and alliances are tools to be used within the parameters of the game, and I found what Dan and Jordan did to be quite unethical, and I think I had a big problem with that.

I guess things change with a million dollars on the line, as we saw Dan and Jordan scramble to the end, freaking out and swearing more than they have all season, while the Cowboys just shrugged and declared that there were things more important than money. These two were really hard not to like...and I hope good things happen for them after the Race.

And shockingly, we heard Dan ONCE AGAIN declare that he was happy to have "made my little brother's dream come true. That sound you heard? That was me vomiting.

But the real story coming out of the finish of the Race was the confrontation between Caite and Brandy. I wasn't sure that I agreed with the closing moment of the season being one of conflict, but it certainly was good TV. You could tell something was brewing with Brandy's refusal to clap for Brent and Caite as they ran to the finish. It only got worse from there.

Caite turned to Carol and Brandy and seemingly was starting to offer an (unnecessary) apology, but Brandy cut her off, snarking back at her, "I don't want to hear sorry from you. You purposely whacked us!" Then, in perhaps the most unsportsmanlike moment in the history of this show, she went on to single out the cowboys and say how THEY should have been U-Turned instead.

Bitter much?

So much to say about this ridiculous situation:

- Did you see how embarrassed Carol was when Brandy started ranting? She looked away as if to say "I want no part of this." At least she offered a token round of applause as they ran in, as the teams always do. Amend the title of "Angry Lesbians" to now only be singular for this fiasco.

- Why was Brandi so mad at Caite and Caite alone? They made the choice as a team, it wasn't just Caite. And I can imagine after watching the season, she probably hates Louie and Michael, too.

- Caite had NO reason to apologize since they were just using a tool in the game. As I've pointed out before, if you don't think stealing bases in baseball is unethical, then shut your mouth when you are U-Turned in TAR.

- Who the hell does Brandy think she is insisting that other teams play the game according to her priorities? Unbelievably ignorant.

- The phrase 'you purposely whacked us' is laughable because, well...that's the point of the game. To eliminate all the other teams. I play poker, and if I'm in a poker tournament, and the goal is to eliminate everyone else, I can't pick my spots and only go after certain players. You have to take the opportunities that are given to you, and go with it.

- Kudos to Caite for just shrugging off the anger and saying, "Well, I'm the one up here." I've given her (and Brent) a hard time all season, and deservedly so, but they didn't deserve that treatment at the Final Mat. I'm 100% with Caite on this one. It was classless and infantile behaviour from an angry witch. Plain and simple.

- After watching the exchange between Brandy and Caite, I was talking to my eight-year-old son about it, and he was shocked how mean Brandy was. This is what he told me, verbatim: "Dad, there's a mini-world in your brain. And if you don't have anything nice to say, you should just throw it in the mini-garbage in your mini-world." (I don't know exactly what it means, but I was still a very proud dad.)

So that does it for another season of The Amazing Race. I thought it was a pretty decent season, but I'm really looking forward to the next season, which is filming now, and is an All-Star Edition. Should be great!

Thanks for reading the Recaps this season, I hope you've enjoyed them. To all of the new readers who have come along in the past couple of months, I hope you'll be back to keep reading. Feel free to bookmark the site, or add me on Facebook, where I post all new posts.

See you next season!

May 8, 2010: It All Comes Back To Star Wars, Doesn't It?

I've never made any bones about the fact that I am a Star Wars geek. I mean, at our core, I would argue that we all are, but I proudly wear my fandom without any shame. It's been a while since a Star Wars post, and with this week being the annual Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you), I thought it was time to catch up.

A number of friends and readers have sent me some Star Wars-themed items over the past couple of months, and along with some that I had saved on my own, I present the following collection of tidbits.

For those of you that love Admiral Ackbar, how would you like to share time with him in your most private of moments? (Admittedly, not as good as the Tauntaun sleeping bag, but definitely a close second.)

These pictures made me laugh out loud the first time I saw them. If you need explanations on either of them, you should probably skip the rest of this post.

How awesome would it be to open your freezer and see this? Lucas has both pieces of this toy...I think I'm going to set it up at home for him.

You're not imagining things...yes, that is indeed an AT-AT made entirely of bacon. Read the full story (with more pictures) here.
In an ingenious idea that is the dream of every male Star Wars fan, this is from a car wash staffed by women in Slave Leia costumes, with a few Geonosis Padme's mixed in. I'll just post this one picture, but click here for more pictures, and here for a borderline NSFW video from inside a car being washed.
For those of you that have a GPS System in your car, and like to fiddle with the voices that you can choose between (I prefer the Australian lady), you may soon be able to receive your directions from the Dark Lord himself.

Lego is a wonderful thing, and if you've ever questioned that statement, check out this video that features the entire story of the Original Star Wars Trilogy, told in under two-and-a-half minutes...entirely in Lego.

And saving the best for last, check out this Star-Wars themed parody from CollegeHumor.com of Alicia Keys and Jay-Z...Galactic Empire State of Mind.

May 6, 2010: Survivor Recap

I speculated at the end of my Survivor recap that we were bound to see some double eliminations coming up since there were still 8 contestants left and only 9 days to go. It took a lot less time than I anticipated, but I still don't agree with how the show has been marketed this season. There have been so many great moments, and almost all of them have been pre-emptively revealed during the previous week's commercials on CBS. Imagine how shocked you would have been tuning in tonight and finding out that there were going to be two Tribal Councils? Do they really think that someone was flipping around this week, and saw the commercial and said, "Well, I wasn't going to watch Survivor on Thursday, but since there's TWO Tribal Councils...count me in!" I doubt it.

But on to tonight's double platter of fun, which started off with the aftermath of last week's flip by Candice, which saw Amanda voted out. Back at camp, we saw Rupert ranting about Candice, calling her self-centered, greedy, and manipulative. Ok, let's break that down, shall we?

Self-Centered - Check. You kind of have to be if you want to have a hope of winning this game, or getting far, even. Asking yourself "what is the best move for me" is what every contestant's primary concern should be, at all times. Whether you do it or not, you still have to consider it.

Greedy - Check. Anyone who is playing this game is greedy. They're competing in an insanely difficult game in unbelievably difficult circumstances...for a million dollars. The motivation is the money for every contestant, and don't even try to give me that mumbo-jumbo about people doing it for the challenge and the experience (I'm talking to you, Coach). If you offered the same challenge without cameras and a million dollars, you would have exactly ZERO contestants.

Manipulative - WRONG! (I couldn't figure out how to type out the sound of the buzzer on Family Feud.) Candace has never done anything remotely manipulative in this game. She takes no initiative, and just follows. Hey lemming...look out for the cliff! Did I really pick her to win?
I loved the exchange between Rupert and Russell at the campfire. I can't recall another time where we've had a one-on-one conversation that required so much bleeping. Those two were trucker-mouths! It was neat to see arguably the Ultimate Survivor Bad Guy jawing with the Ultimate Survivor Good Guy. (if fans could vote, Rupert would always win) For a minute, as I watched two people in a jungle representing good and evil argue over a fire, I thought, "Wait a minute, Lost isn't on tonight!"

As they headed for the first Immunity challenge and I saw the water towers, I immediately knew which challenge it was. And if you don't think that makes me one of the all-time ultimate Survivor geeks, how about these voluntarily offered tidbits: a)I knew that Jeff would offer food as temptations, b) I knew that the perch was a new element for this challenge, c) I knew that Rupert competed in his season, and d) I knew that Parvati won it in her season. And I knew it all before Jeff said it. Pardon me, I have to go put masking tape on my glasses, now.
Good for Parvati on winning it again, but I really loved the twist where if nobody took the food that Jeff was offering, then he gave it to those who had already dropped out. There's your motivation to drop out first, like Sandra and Russell both did. And three people dropping out simultaneously for PB&J? Come on Jeff, you can do better than that! Remember when Heidi and Jenna got naked for chocolate and peanut butter in the Amazon?

And I loved the added element of Jeff reading the clue for the Hidden Immunity Idol in front of everyone at the end of the challenge, leading to a mad scramble back at camp, where the unlikeliest of suspects ended up with the Idol. Come on Sandra, did you really think that the 'burning bush' part of the clue meant that the bush would be on fire? Somehow, I truly believe that you did.

Russell was fixated on the bulge in Rupert's pants...wait a minute, let me re-phrase that...Rupert had a big lump in his pants that Russell couldn't take his eyes off of...hold on, I don't think that's much better...Rupert had something in his pants that Russell wanted, and every time Russell thought about how many times he had held one of those in his hands...oh never mind! Rupert didn't have an idol, and Russell thought he did!

At Tribal Council, the jury appeared to have all agreed to wear black uniforms for some reason, and Amanda still looked like she was about to cry at any moment. I wonder if the Final Tribal Council will be any better for her now that she gets to ask the question instead of answer it, or if she'll still stumble all over her words and sound like a doofus.

Voting Candice off was a dumb move for the villains. Solely because they asked her in, then cut her throat...so any chance they had of her jury vote went out the window. At least with Colby and Rupert, you knew they hated you already. Why piss off a potential jury vote? At least let them think you're a team before you cut their throat. Basic Survivor Strategy.

But then in her confessional, Candice declared that she was "thrown under the bus", which you regular readers will identify as one of my three Immediate Disqualification terms. Sorry, Candice.

I won't break down the second immunity challenge, except to say that I was impressed with Russell and how that little Hobbit flew up the wall without the pegs. But winning that challenge did something to Russell, as he inexplicably tried to pit the other two members of his 3-person alliance against each other...with seven people still left! As Parvati and Danielle put it, it just didn't make any sense.
Of course Danielle and Parvati talked to each other and figured out what he was doing, but by then, Russell had transformed into Johnny Threats-A-Lot and ran around threatening everyone that if they didn't do what he wanted, they were going to be voted out next. Pretty easy to say that when you are wearing the Immunity Necklace. I wonder if he would have been so brazen if he wasn't safe from this vote.
And speaking of the vote, what a Tribal Council that was! Danielle refused to set her ego aside, and piped up when she heard that Russell and Parvati were running things, then clarified that she and Parvati were exceptionaly close, which is just what Russell wanted. Even though he lied about what he said happened, he stayed calm and believable, while she ranted and cried and seemed not very trustworthy. The look on Jerri's face at what Danielle said sealed her fate.

And as she sat there at Tribal Council trying to save herself, and crying, I realized after all of these episodes, who Danielle reminded me of.
















Does anyone have a sugar cube?

And on that note, good readers, I will see you all next week for the next chapter in "Russell and Parvati: The Ugly Breakup."

May 4, 2010: Lost Recap: The Candidate

Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out. No, I'm not singing Mat Kearney, and no, I'm not just making a predictable joke considering that the last third of this episode essentially took place underwater...I'm just catching my own breath. As I sit down to write this recap not even 10 minutes from the closing credits of "The Candidate", I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'll do my best...
As always, mouse over the pictures to see the captions below.

I used a hockey analogy in describing the pace of last week's episode. Well, if that was the end of a hockey game, then this was a drag race. Again, no "Previously on Lost" since we're going to need every minute in this hour, and we open with a shot of John Locke in the hospital in the FS World. Locke is greeted by Jack, and what ensues is an incredibly well-written scene, where every single word seemingly meant something in both realities. From Jack explaining to Locke that he may be a "candidate", to him declaring that he thinks he can "fix him", to Helen exclaiming "thank you for saving him."
Cut to Hydra Island in the Island World (now with Sayid as the official Hydra Island Greeter!), for a reversal of what we just saw. We cut from a scene where Jack has saved Locke, to a scene where (F)Locke has saved Jack. This scene's express purpose was to show that juxtaposition between the two, and to explain that Flocke, Sayid, and Jack are now on Hydra Island after traveling over in the outrigger.

Widmore's cronies marched our Losties to the cages that we all know only too well from Season 3, and despite some initial refusal from Sawyer (including calling Chip from Kate and Allie "doughboy") they ended up in the cage after Widmore threatened to kill Kate. Widmore rhymed off the names from "the list", which didn't include Kate, so he truthfully declared that he didn't care if she lived or died.

If you read my post from The Last Recruit, you'll remember that I introduced a concept of Mirror Imagery from previous episodes, and there were a number of them once again in this episode, so I'll start here with Mirror Image #1: Kate is threatened at gunpoint outside the cage in front of Sawyer, mirroring when Sawyer was threatened at gunpoint by Pickett outside the cage in front of Kate in the Season 3 episode "I Do." (alternate Mirror Image: Kate held at gunpoint by Juliet in front of Sawyer while they are building the runway in "The Glass Ballerina")
So it all comes full circle and now Kate and Sawyer are back in the land of the Fish Biscuit. But let's be honest, we weren't really expecting a hot and steamy Round 2 with them in that cage, were we? I mean, Sawyer is still presumably grieving Juliet (somehow), and there's no way they would put such a show on for all the others in there, right? The ones we should have been worries about were Jin and Sun after their reunion last week. Hey Widmore...If the cage is a rockin', don't come-a-knockin!

Back in the FS World, Jack pays a visit to Bernard's dental office snooping for info on John Locke. Bernard keeps his oath as a doctor (do dentist's still count?) and doesn't share confidential information, but still helps to steer Jack in the right direction, despite mentioning that he recalls Jack flirting with his wife on the plane. (What?!) Interesting that Jack told Bernard that he needed to fix John, while his Island persona seems to have released that need to fix everything.
Bernard seemed to have a "knowing" look in this scene(not the one in the picture above), and his tone of voice made me wonder if he was aware of both realities. When they realized the Oceanic 815 connection, Bernard said "Maybe you're on to something." And their last exchange seemed to mean more than it appeared on the surface alone:

Jack: "That was three years ago. You just remember that?"
Bernard: "Of course I do, Jack. (pause) Good luck, Doc. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Which is exactly what Kate told Jack in Episode 5 of this season, "The Lighthouse."

As we see Sayid and Jack on the beach on Hydra Island once again, we hear him tell Jack flat-out "Locke saved you." When Flocke joins them, Jack tells him that he's not sure he plans on joining him in his plan to leave the Island. Flocke says that he hopes Jack will change his mind, paralleling the FS World where Jack hopes that Locke will change his mind about the surgery. Flocke is unhappy about Jack's decision and launches into a tirade about how he could have killed Jack and everyone else...but didn't. I'm not sure that was the best way to build trust, it came across as pretty threatening.

In Cage-Land, Sawyer confirmed that Widmore was telling the truth about Kate not being on the list, and we saw a scene between Jin and Sun where they caught up on Ji-Yeon, pictures, and Jin's wedding band. I made a note watching that scene, that it seemed like a 'housekeeping' scene, just to neatly tie things up before the end. Boy, would that note come back to bite me in the ass...
Then the power cuts, we hear the tika-tika-tika that we all used to get exhilarated over, but now seem to respond to with significantly less excitement (am I wrong?), and the Smoke Monster is back in all of his delicious, Smokey form. Chip from Kate and Allie gets chucked into the cage, and lays there with the key dangling off his belt as Kate strains to reach it.

I had a problem with this scene, and it wasn't Frank's faux-heroic attempts to kick open the cage door. It's the fact that the last time Kate was in this cage, she climbed out of the cage through the top...but now's she reaching through the bars unable to get the key off of Chip's belt. Just as I'm yelling at my TV, Jack saves the day once again and unlocks the cage for them. As Kate asks what he's doing there, he responds with "I'm with him", echoing the end of last week's episode, but I didn't believe for a second that Jack was referring to anything other than proximity.
After the escape from the Cages, the Losties (with Flocke) make their way to the plane. Now, before I continue, I have to point out something that has been annoying me for the last couple of episodes. I'm not generally one to pick out continuity errors, but in the last couple of episodes, the day-night switching has just been lazy.

Last week's episode ends in the daytime with Widmore and Zoe taking the Losties hostage, but this week as they were walking to the Cages, it was night. Are we to believe that in the time it took Flocke, Jack, and Sayid to recover from the attack, and paddle over to Hydra Island, as it switched from day to night...that's how long it took Zoe and the Losties to walk from the beach to the Cages? Come on! And then after the nighttime escape from the cages, it's suddenly daytime on the way to the plane?

But back to the story, where in the FS World, Jack continued his creepy ways by tracking down Anthony Cooper. As he ran into Helen in the lobby and explained that he wanted to help, she told him to "leave this alone", but then his response to her was the good old Jack Shepherd we've always known:

Helen: "You saved John's life. Why can't that be enough?"
Jack: "Because it's not."

And as we saw Anthony Cooper for the first time , we didn't see the sleazeball con man we knew him to be...we saw a catatonic creature in a wheelchair (nice touch). It made me think of Ben and Roger in the FS World...and how both Ben and Locke had been cursed with horrible fathers previously, but now the situation was quite different for both of them.
At the Ajira plane, the two "guards" fired on Flocke, and were summarily dismissed. I have to think back to earlier this season, when Bram fired on Flocke and was killed, and then when Ilana cocked her gun when he came out of the statue, Richard instructed her NOT to shoot. Is this the theory I posed earlier, that he can act only when directly threatened? It still doesn't explain the Oceanic 815 pilot or the Temple dwellers, but it may be something...

I saw him take the watch from the dead guard, and then find the explosives in the plane, and I was disappointed that I knew what would be coming...

One question I have about when the Losties arrived at the Ajira plane, was how come we didn't get a scene of Sawyer and Kate looking at each other and saying, "So that's what we were building the damn runway for!" And I actually laughed out loud when Sayid diagnosed the dead guard..."He's got a broken neck." If anyone knows about snappin' necks, it's Sayid.
As they left the Ajira plane, Jack held firm to his insistence that he would not be leaving, and even though Flocke said "fair enough", I didn't buy it for a second. Claire then apologized to Flocke for deserting him earlier, and he gave her a forgiving pat on the back and told her he understood why she did it. He still seemed protective of her, and it made me think of something in terms of how they all refer to the entity I call Flocke or the Man in Black (MIB).

Have you notice that those that trust him, and are "with" him, refer to him as "Locke", or"him", or in Claire's case, even "my friend"...but those that don't trust him, refer to him as "it", or "that thing", or something similar. It's almost as if not trusting him gives them an inability to personalize how he/it is viewed.

In the FS World, Locke woke up in his hospital bed saying "Push the button", and "I wish you had believed me." In an effort to keep this recap to a reasonable length, I'll let you take that one in the Comments section, because I could write a whole post on that.

But out in the waiting area, Jack talked to Claire and we saw Mirror Image #3: where Jack purchased a candy bar in the hospital vending machine and offered in to Claire, mirroring what we saw in the Season 5 finale "The Incident", where Jacob did the same with Jack.

And as Claire explained to Jack that she too was on Oceanic 815, it seemed as if Jack was starting to realize that something was going on after finding out the same thing with Bernard, but we were sidetracked with Claire's gift from Christian, a music box that was playing "Catch a Falling Star." I was expecting that song to be a trigger for one or both of them, but it wasn't.

As the Losties prepared to storm the sub, I watched Sawyer barrel his way down on to the dock and onto the sub like he was a cast member in Stomp, and even though I have no experience inside a submarine, I have to wonder how on earth the crew inside didn't hear them coming. Just before Jack and Flocke headed down, I saw Flocke hand Jack his knapsack, and while I couldn't tell if he switched them or just made sure Jack had his, I knew what it meant. Why the hell did he take that watch?

On the way to the sub, Jack knocked Flocke into the water as Sawyer had instructed, leading all of us Lost junkies to scream thinking that the long-standing theory that Flocke was weakened by water was about to be confirmed. Um...not so much. Credit to Damon and Carlton for the knowing wink from Sawyer telling Jack to "get it in the water", but it appears it was just a stall tactic.

Then my beloved Kate got shot and my jaw dropped. No way! I was too shocked to immediately recognize that I was seeing Mirror Image #4: the shootout at the sub that saw Kate shot and hustled into the sub, mirroring The Incident, where we saw Sayid shot and hustled into the Dharma Van.

As the shootout continued furiously outside the sub, we saw Sawyer go back for Claire, but when he saw Flocke coming for the boat, he abandoned her yet again, locking them both out. Little did she know that this time, she was actually saved, as Flocke told her "You don't want to be on that sub."

The bomb scene on the sub was reminiscent of the scene between Jack and Richard in the Black Rock...it was all about trust. And as Jack explained that they just had to trust him, that they were all going to be ok if they just let the counter click down...I believed him, and I believed him 100%. Did you?

Jack was bang-on in his assessment that the goal by Flocke was for them to kill each other, which is what they would be doing by messing with the bomb. And just as Jack has become the Faithful, like Locke...Sawyer has now become the Non-Believer, like Jack once was.

As the bomb ticked down furiously, Sayid grabbed it and gave Jack a message about Desmond on the Island, and how Jack would need him. His last line before running off with the bomb was "It's going to be you, Jack", which I can only imagine refers to the title of the episode, 'The Candidate", and that Jack will be the one to replace Jacob.

Very few scenes in this show give me full on goosebumps anymore, but Sayid's slow-motion run through the submarine before blowing up was one of them. Just when I thought I didn't care what happened to him...wow.
The sequences on the sub all happened so fast that I can't really take them all in without a second or third viewing. Frank gets a door blown in his face (mirroring Jack on Hydra Island?), Jack screams "There is no Sayid!", Hurley tries to get Kate to safety, Jack leaves with Sawyer, but then it all came down to Jin and Sun.

Now I've been very vocal with the use of these two characters this season, and what I perceived as their uselessness, and that they were a love story that I just wasn't buying into. But as I watched the water rise to Jin's chin, and saw Jack leave them alone on the sub, and remember back to what I called the "housekeeping" scene in the cage...it became clear what I was watching.

And I lost it. If you would have told me I would be bawling my eyes out at Jin and Sun drowning, I would have scoffed at you, but that's the damn magic of this show. They remind you that just when you think you don't care anymore, you still do. I'll leave more accomplished recappers like Vozzek and Jeff Jensen to break down that scene, but if you weren't emotional in that closing shot of the hands separating with the flashing red light behind and the musical score playing, I would argue that you don't have a heart.
But as I shook off the emotion of that scene, and watched the show switch back to Locke in the FS World, I found myself wondering if perhaps Locke was responsible for Cooper's condition...and that's why he didn't want to talk about it. And in that closing FS scene between Jack and Locke, that appears to be what we are being led to believe, but I think it's something else...

Did you notice that when Locke saw Jin in the hospital hallway, he paused as if he recognized him? I'm now wondering if the Locke we are seeing in the FS World is indeed the Man in Black, and he too has traveled between the two realities. It would make sense that he would refuse the surgery, because he would NEED John Locke to not be able to walk, so that the Island would still give him his faith once he was there. Make sense? Probably not...it's getting late and I'm clearly starting to ramble.
Jack and Locke talked fathers, letting go, and "what happened, happened", and then in a final un-Locke-like laugh, John rolled away as Jack called after him "I wish you believed me." Mirror Image #5: this is the same message from John to Jack in "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham."

The surviving Losties, Jack, Hurley, Sawyer, and a wounded Kate reconvene on the beach where Hurley breaks down, and Jack seemingly acknowledges that his faith is being tested.
Then we switch to Claire and Flocke, and somehow the MIB knows that the sub sunk, and not everyone is dead...and stomps off "to finish what I started."

Body Count: Sun, Jin, Sayid, Chip from Kate and Allie, a number of randoms, and possibly Frank. Quite a statement for one episode.

You can breathe now...

Until next week.

May 2, 2010: Amazing Race Recap

Last week's predictable non-elimination leg was anti-climactic except for some shuffling of team order, and the Handlebar Brothers adding a Speed Bump to the next leg. What would this week bring for our 4 remaining teams? Let's find out...now with 100% less midgets and noodles...

At the beginning of the leg, Cord told a story about how he took a 'hoof to the head' a few years back, and how Jet stayed by his side the entire time. Why are we just hearing this story now in the second last episode? I mean, we've heard constantly how the main reason Dan did this race was for his brother Jordan to live a dream, so how do we not hear the 'hoof to the head' story? By the way, Dan...we get it, ok? You're the brother of the year. Stop patting yourself on the back.

Louie and Michael started the leg off in last place, over 2 hours behind the other teams. Add to that they also had a Speed Bump to contend with and the odds were stacked against the undercover detectives. I have to say, with all the times this season that these two yahoos have compared something on the Race to something they do in their job, I was flat-out offended that they didn't compare the Speed Bump as well. After all, a speed bump is probably the most interesting thing IN Rhode Island.

Brent and Caite figured out first where the Garden Bridge was located, and then in their on-camera testimonial on the bus afterwards, Caite launched into a tirade on how she is good with maps, even in China, and that everyone can "go screw yourself." That seemed harsh to begin with, but then she flashed some sort of faux gang sign at the end of it, and it was just so ridiculous. Don't try to be gaining street cred on your ability to read a map...in China...when you're a blonde beauty queen on the streets of Shanghai. Nobdoy cares, and you just look like an idiot.

Dan and Jordan spent two hours trying to find the Garden Bridge, and then figured out that their best bet was to go back and join forces with Louie and Michael since they could stay with them until the Handlebar Brothers hit their Speed Bump, and then they could go off on their own. Seemed like a pretty decent strategy until I saw that Michael's method of trying to find the Garden Bridge involved him climbing to the highest spot nearby and using his binoculars to look for it.
Let me get this straight, you're in Shanghai, the largest city in China...with a population over 17 million people...and you think looking around with your binoculars is the best plan of attack here? Can you picture Michael looking for a suspect back home? Does he just go to the top of the hill and scour the area until he finds him? Not the brightest idea. But the best part was him patting himself on the back for the idea...and none of the other three saying "This is stupid."

Speaking of stupid, Brent and Caite found themselves at the Roadblock before anyone else, and Caite was chosen for the task of counting the gold statues inside a temple. Did anyone think she was going to get this on the first try? Especially after Brent declared to us that "she's got it upstairs, and she's not as dumb as everyone thinks?"
This challenge only involved counting. That's it. If you can't count, then you are as dumb as everyone thinks.

But how awesome was it when Caite was wrong, that on each attempt, she kept trying to convince the poor guy that was fielding the answers, that she was right? "Are you sure?" "522?" "You're sure that's not right?" And then after she went back in to count yet again, Brent told us "I don't know what she's doing wrong." Hey Brent, I know what she's doing wrong....counting!

Dan and Jordan found a language barrier with their cab driver, and instead of employing the Charla and Mirna-tested strategy of speaking English in some non-descript accent, they went typical American speaking loudly and slowly and repeating themselves.
Then Dan freaked out in the cab after their cab driver lost the cab they were following that contained Louie and Michael. As Dan ranted in the back seat, tried to get out of the cab (what would that have accomplished? Was he going to run down the other cab?), and threatened to get "violent", let's keep in mind that the horrendous sin that the cab driver committed was NOT running a red light. What a bastard!

And if Dan were to have gotten "violent", what exactly would that have entailed? Why am I picturing a slap-fight and an ugly attempt to scratch someone's eyes out? And yes...I realize that Dan is the straight brother.

How awesome was the scene with Brent and Caite where Brent had to go to the bathroom and Caite insisted that they had to stay? Aside from his tantrum-like behaviour, it was funny watching him refuse to look for the stamps while he had to go so badly. He said he couldn't focus, but let's remember what this challenge was, ok? All you had to do was pick up stamps and look for your own name.

But let's examine what went wrong here, shall we. First of all, if you have to go that badly, and you know there is a place right across the road, then you probably should have gone before you started the challenge. Second of all, if you're Caite, and your teammate has to go, suck it up and take the 3 minutes it will take for him to go. Third of all, if you haven't been able to follow those first 2 steps, and find yourself in that situation, if you're going to bitch and moan to Caite, then do it while you're looking for the stamps, not just walking around the store ranting. This was the same Brent we saw last week throwing his arms up and looking for sympathy in the grid challenge at the football stadium instead of chasing down his missing pieces. How is this team in the final three...seriously?

(And before you say that Brent should have gone on his own, teams have to stay together, so he couldn't have left without Caite. She can't work on the challenge without him there.)

That Speed Bump was the stupidest thing I have ever seen on the show. All they had to do was throw a coins into a giant hole? Why not just say "Count to fifty, then proceed." That was idiotic, especially since the challenge was right there, and they didn't have to travel to it, like the last Speed Bump that saw Jet and Cord have to travel to another location and then make a tea out of selected ingredients based on smell.

I could think of a lot of terms to describe Louie, but "mathematical genius" sure as hell isn't one of them. Is that really what Michael called him prior to the statue-counting Detour?

Then we heard Michael instruct his motorcycle driver to "drive it like you stole it", which was the 3rd time we've heard that from them this season. Again, I'll point out how proud his superiors must be back at the police station.
And at the stamp challenge, Michael said that it was just like a search warrant. Um...how exactly? This is the same guy who once declared "if I can find crack in a crackhead's rear end, I can find grapes in a grape yard." THAT would have been a better analogy for this.

Just when I thought we had tapped out our Guinness Book of World Records freak-shows (R.I.P Ping Ping) for this season, Phil is waiting on the mat with the world's tallest man. Wait a minute, the world's tallest man, and the world's smallest man...in the same season...in the same city? What are the odds? Oh well, at least they didn't have teams stripping down unnecessarily all season this time.

Also, I decided this week to do a comparitive analysis of Michael and Louie's use of 'baby' with each other, to Dan and Jordan's use of 'bro' with each other. The winner...drum roll please...12 'bros' and 9 'babys'. Dan and Jordan win.

Brent and Caite squeaked out a win to pick up a trip to Coastal Spain. How many of you pictured Caite looking at a map, asking "Where is Costa Spain?" I know I did.

Louie and Michael were eliminated, and as much as I gave them a hard time all season, they were pretty good-natured, and ended up being pretty hard not to like. I was sorry to see them go, and was hoping Brent and Caite would be eliminated instead.

Next week: The Finale is "Huger than Huge" as the teams close out the Race in San Francisco. I'm picking the cowboys.