Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Survivor South Pacific Recap: “The Second-Class Citizen Fights Back”

It's that time again,'s the Dreaded Loved Ones Episode. Will Brandon be getting a visit from Uncle Russell? Can Cochran upset Ozzy in the Redemption (Non) Island Duel? And just how awesome is the new Sprint EVO 3D?

My Random Thoughts:

- Previously on…Survivor. A random conversation on the first night evolved into a Final Five pact between Coach, Brandon, Albert, Sophie, and some guy with a moustache I’ve never seen before. Edna was then added as the 6th, and Cochran was later added as 7th. Brandon can’t keep his mouth shut and infuriated his allies by revealing the Final 5 plan, and as Jeff ominously told us “Cochran heads to Redemption Island, and Edna has to figure out a way to stay in the game.”

- Night Vision Recap at Redemption (Non) Island: Cochran makes his 73rd “drank the Kool-Aid” reference, and says that, in retrospect, flipping wasn’t a great move because Upolu used him. Then he and Ozzy talked about whether he had a chance to win in their impending Duel, and made a ‘sort-of’ pact to vote for each other in the event one of them made the final. Did anyone else notice that as they were laying there in the shelter, even though Ozzy was on his side, and Cochran was on his back with his arms crossed, it looked like Ozzy had his arm slung over Cochran like they were snuggling?
- The next morning, Rick is toasting his sock as Brandon prepared everyone for the Te Tuna morning prayer. Edna decided this was the time to have a hissy fit, and apparently threw on her business suit in an attempt to be taken more seriously. She excused herself and went off to cry, because she was “not part of Tribe.” As the other five prayed in the smoke of the fire, Edna told us that she feels treated like a second class citizen.

She tried to talk to Coach about it, who responded by telling her that “everybody gets deceived.” She was trying to plead her case when raccoon-eye Brandon started hollering about Sprint Tree Mail. She did, however, get one final spectacular burn in, saying that she didn’t want “a nineteen-year-old high school dropout who’s advertised that he’s crazy to dictate to me the direction of my own destiny here.”
- Regular readers will know how much I hate the Dreaded Loved Ones episode, so I won’t give this all too much space, other than to say that the Sony EVO 3D looks awesome! (that’s how we’re supposed to feel after this episode, right?) Here’s the summary: Brandon says that he wants to cry before he even turns the phone on, Rick’s wife calls him “Ricky” (and since his last name is Nelson, do you think he gets asked to sing ‘Helly Mary Lou’ at karaoke?), Sophie’s Dad didn’t think she would get this far, and the EVO screen looked like the only feature it didn’t have was the ability to wipe beads of water off of the screen…or were those Brandon’s tears?

- But wait, before any of you get to see your loved ones, it’s time for the Redemption (Non) Island Duel, another rehash where you had to use a grappling hook to get 3 bags, then get a ball, and use it to solve a table maze. Sure, it was another former challenge, but in my mind, anything with grappling hooks is always awesome. Star Wars, Batman, Deadliest Catch…see what I mean?
Ozzy got his 3 bags quickly, while Cochran looked out of place throwing his hook, which was accentuated by the springing sound effects that were inserted. The rest of the Tribe was encouraging Cochran, but it looked like Ozzy was too far ahead. Then, suddenly, Cochran made a rush, and Ozzy’s ball fell through a hole and he had to start over.

It was neck and neck as they both worked their way through the maze, and even though Brandon yelled for Cochran to “take your time” at least 15 times, in the end, Ozzy pulled out a narrow win, eliminating my pick to win it all.

Cochran then gushed as he was leaving, and Jeff pumped him up talking about how he’s a new man after what he dealt with in the game. Enough with the sugar-coated goodbye speeches, bring back ‘the old torch snuff and hit the bricks.’ No offense, Cochran.

I did notice, however, that the Buff Burning Urn was unlit at the beginning of the Duel. Does anyone else find that odd? Are you telling me that after the Duel (or (Non) Duel) is over, someone comes out with a BBQ lighter and fires it up just to burn the Buff? Do the players have to wait until the fire gets hot enough? Wouldn’t it be a good twist to have the Duel be “Here’s a flint. Go light that urn?”
- Then Jeffy brought out the loved ones: Sophie’s dad Thurston (who got an order for Reese’s peanut butter cups at the airport and fresh made banana bread), Edna’s sister Debbie, Coach’s brother Pete (who I imagine has a T-shirt that says ‘Brother of the Dragon Slayer’), Rick’s wife Katie (who Rick helped himself to a double ass-grab from), Albert’s mom Annie, and Brandon’s dad Sean (who was embarrassingly introduced as 'Russell Hantz’s brother').

Actual conversation between my girlfriend Devena and I upon seeing Sean Hantz:

Devena: “He’s better looking than Russell.”
Sean: “Who isn’t?”

The twist was that only 3 of the 6 loved ones would get to visit, and as the winner of the duel, Ozzy would get to decide. He chose Albert, Coach, and Brandon, and the other 3 got the Probst send-off “I’ve got nothing for you, head back to camp.”

- So the loved ones got to visit at Redemption (Non) Island with Ozzy, where they seemingly ate all of Ozzy’s fruit, and took spiffy pictures with the EVO 3D (from Sprint!) Do you think Ozzy should have received a visit from a Loved One, too? Or since he’s on Redemption (Non) Island, is that still considered ‘out of the game’ in terms of who they bring in? Frankly, I don’t care. I hate the whole concept of the visits anyways.

Coach made a deal with Ozzy to go together to the Final Three, and he swore on it “as a Christian man.” We then learned that if Coach says “as a Christian man”, then it is an irrevocable promise. Other than that, anything he says might be total horseshit. I guess it’s his own version of Simon Says.

Then Brandon’s Dad--um, I mean, Russell’s brother—explained to Brandon that even though he is trying to be a good person and do the right thing, he still needs to understand that he is “here to do a job”, and that he needs to open his mind to potentially do other things to get to the end. Brandon says no, and then Papa Hantz plays the ‘guilt in the name of God’ card, saying that God wants him to win so that it puts their family in a good position. I think it’s safe to say that Sean Hantz won’t be winning any ‘Father of the Year’ awards anytime soon. No wonder this kid is screwed up.

I did, however, have a laugh at Brandon’s response, saying that “our lives have been planned out since we were born, bro?” Who the hell calls your dad ‘bro’????

- The Immunity challenge was painfully boring, as the 6 remaining castaways played life-size Othello on a giant Fruit Ninja-esque pineapple board. Coach won easily, but the big story was Brandon putting his foot in his mouth again, gloating after being eliminated that he did his job, not allowing Edna to win. Kind of like a sacrifice fly, huh Brandon? Except that no one ever comes back to the dugout and brags about increasing the pitcher’s ERA.
- Edna scrambled at camp, and I’m not going to get into everything that happened, because it was all wasted time, since Edna was eventually eliminated. She was making a pretty solid argument to keep her over Brandon, and I thought she was making headway, but after Brandon apologized to her, and she (correctly) branded it as insincere, she dropped this nugget: “It’s like beating your wife and then apologizing or buying her a diamond necklace.”


Ok, Edna…just back away from the ‘what makes a good sound bite’ textbook and repeat after me: “Domestic Violence is never a good topic to joke about.”
Edna asked for the Idol. Coach said no. Edna went to Albert. He asked if Coach was on board. She said yes. He wasn’t sure, so Edna offered to eat a piece of Coach’s feces to prove it.

Please, please, please, for the love of GOD tell me that confused you as much as it confused me.

- At Tribal Council, it was Edna vs. Brandon, and even though we were led to believe that there was a chance Edna would stay, it never happened. And after an awkward lingering hug from Coach, she went off to Redemption (Non) Island where she promptly woke up Ozzy.

Next week: Upolu Infighting and Edna Duels Ozzy.

Don't forget to listen to my guest appearance on David and Nicole's Survivor Podcast from last week, where we spent a lot of time breaking down this season, and who has a chance to win the whole thing.

Survivor Fans, please feel free to bookmark the site or add your name as a Follower on the sidebar to the left. You can also add me on Facebook or Twitter, where I post all of the recaps as soon as they go up. I’m learning the power of Twitter, as some of the Survivor cast has been retweeting my recaps, so please feel free to share a link to this page if you feel like recommending it to others.

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Thanks for reading.


Choirchick22 said...

Oh G-sus. When Edna said that very special sentence, I sat there with my mouth open for a good five minutes. If I was listening to this woman, I would be all on board. When she said that, I would have instantly wanted her off as fast as I could get her before she actually did what she suggested. Who in any sort of mind would say that for any reason??
I feel like Coach has played a good game, but he's destroying his chances to win. A smart person would take Edna to the end. A smart person would not ever EVER take Ozzy to the end. Coach's on track to surrounding himself with people who might deserve to win more than him. He better fix that fast.
So sad Cochran didn't win the Duel. Hopefully the teaser for next week isn't just all for show. I don't want Ozzy to get anywhere close to the end game. I don't like him, and I don't want him to win.
I guess I'll say Sophie or Rick for the win. Rick for that hilarious booty grab! And because he's the only one I haven't disliked at all this season. Sophie because at least she can win challenges and she can spot the b.s. from every tribe member.

Choirchick22 said...

Also, I am 99% sure Ozzy had his arm around Cochran. I was staring at that so confused!

Emma Furfaro said...

Emma's Random Thoughts:
-Recap > Episode
-Episode = Boring

Emma Furfaro said...

Oh yeah and Sophie, you are so annoying to watch on television. Giving airport orders to your dad and rolling your eyes and barely waving as he leaves.. Tinky Winky you are a rude and boring lady.

Anonymous said...

Gotta say I was hoping Russel would be Brandons loved one. The eliminations have become more predicatable and boring than a CYO dance. Don't think Ben "Coach" Wade has a shot of getting the win. If Ozzie can make it to the final 3, I think he wins. Almost hoping the tease for next week about redemption (non) island isn't a real tell. This season has become BORiING. Still watching to the end tho.

OneDutchess said...

Did anyone hear one of the Upolo tribe yell out to Cochran as he left Redemption (non) island 'lose the sweater vest' or was that all in my mind? If I did hear that correctly, it was really funny! And yeah, why would Edna use 'eating his stool' as a reference to why she wasn't lying to Albert about Coach's stance for tribal...because she was full of bullshit maybe?

R.P. McMurphy said...

Holy Balls! More religion and a promise to eat excrement. Other than that, did anything else happen?

Never knew how easy it was to walk to an island, unless of course it was, in actuality, an isthmus! Just as in previous product placement episodes, Coach knows all the right things to say to get some extra screen time.

Amazed that Cochran's violent thrusts of the balance board worked so well early on in advancing the ball. Loved the editing with Ozzy stating that Cochran had a chance and the quick cut saying, "He doesn't stand a chance." Wish he won.

Sounds like I'm in the minority but I'm liking Sophie. Some of the others come across as fake to me and I see her saying what she really feels. That rarely, if ever, will get you the win but I appreciate her bluntness versus all the praying.

I guess it's realistic that Ozzy could get enough votes for a win if he made it to the final three. That leaves 9 jury members. Clearly the 3 members of Ozzy's alliance would go for him and I think Edna could and Cochran could as well as a way to redeem his flip. They need Ozzy out!

I fear the editing showing Edna in a virtually certain win in the challenge next week means that there's no way she will actually beat him.

Holy Balls and God Bless. Let us pray...

Anonymous said...

This season is a repeat of last season with Coach replacing Boston Rob. They need to go back to the pre-merge tribe swap. that is the only way you can break up a group of 5/6 that has had 20 plus days to bond. Coach does look like he is going to pull a Colby and bring strong people to the final (Ozzy, Sophie) over non winners (Cochran, Edna, Brandon) because he wants to play with "honor and integrity".

Anonymous said...

Coach should have at least kept Edna around for one more night.Edna was the only one who befriended Coach from the beginning. She only asked for one more night.that would have showed Edna she was a valued member of the tribe.Now with all his honesty,and integrity,that will cost him one less vote.To keep Brandon over Edna is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

Other than that one domestic violance comment from Edna, I really liked her. I was so hoping she would change the minds of her tribemates. She was very well spoken. It seems we see so little of that anymore. I would love for someone who is that well spoken to get to the end inorder to answer questions from the jury. I can already see Ozzy up there sputtering uhh's and err's and one word answers. BLA!

I think if Coach brings Brandon and Ozzy to the end Coach wins. In fact, I don't think Coach can lose, no matter who he brings. If the other players are smart, they'll vote him off first chance they get.

However, I really hope they vote Brandon off next week. If he makes it to the end, he'll think it's because of his brilliant strategy or trust in God. UGG!!

I don't know who I'm rooting for this season. It hasn't been as fun to watch as usual. I feel they should stop bringing back former Survivors to play with rookies. I can't understand why the rookies always follow around the previous Survivors like puppy dogs. Vote them out and do it ASAP! Seems like they are all playing Coach's game this year just as they all played Rob's game last season. Oh well, I guess if you can get a whole tribe to fall on their knees for you and follow you for this long, you deserve to win.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the person who wrote that they should switch up the teams prior to the merge. As far as Coach and Ozzy, I really enjoy watching Coach, even tho he can be goofy sometimes. He's a character, for sure! And that's entertaining. I REALLY hope that Ozzy doesn't win. While I really like having former Survivors play with rookies (because I enjoy seeing them again), it seems the former Survivors are looked up to as leaders and will probably always end up winning, which is unfair to the rookies. There is a chance that Sophie or - is Henry his name?- might win by flying beneath the radar, as many have done in the past- not ticking anyone off, not being bossy, etc. and Sophie has been strong in the challenges, too.
Personally, I still look forward to each episode and will watch it till the end, even if Ozzy wins. =(

Alex said...

Alright, so while I may be in the minority, I'm hoping for Sophie to win. I'd be okay with Albert winning as well, but I really don't care to see anyone else win. Edna is a nice lady, but I think Survivor's paranoia was making her a bit crazy. It's probably good she left when she did or she may have actually started eating Coach's shit.
I'm fairly sure Ozzy's arm was around Cochran. Also, I thought it was nice that Ozzy was not a dick to Cochran. Had it been Jim or Keith, they would have been super terrible to him.
Last thought: DEAR GOD, VOTE OUT BRANDON. Like seriously, I'm calling on the Lord, (pulling a Brandon), and asking to never have to hear Brandon speak again. Well, with the exception of Ponderosa where he will be made hilarious with Jim's hatred.

Sean said...

Nope, his arm wasn't around Cochran. It was an optical illusion that you can see at one point when Cochran moves.

I thought so too, but after backing it up and watching it a couple more times, you could tell for certain

A Kam said...

Yeah, at first I thought that Ozzy had his arm around Cochran, and I thought WTF is this crap. It was nice of Ozzy, to be nice and friendly to Cochran, after he got kicked out.

I hope Albert wins, I think he has sort of flow under the rader, but comes up just enough to be noticed and given some credit in the end. Sophie won't win because she has not really done much, and has not made or encouraged any sort of game changing moves.

If Coach, goes up against Ozzy, in the final 3, then Coach definitely has no chance of winning, All of Ozzy's old tribe (perhaps except for Cochran) will vote for him, and upolu will be split with coach.

Why is coach still in this game to begin with? Don't these people learn anything. Get rid of the vets ASAP, no matter what you think you need them for, get RID of them ASAP. that's what they did to Russel last season, and if only the other tribe had done the same to Boston Rob, it would have been a great season.

jim said...

While I don't like it, the remaining 5 played the correct strategy. In the game of Survivor if you want to win you stick with your alliance to the very end. Too bad it makes for boring TV.

What the game of Survivor needs is an effective way to crack an alliance.

Pre-merge tribe shuffling can break an alliance, but it is random. Maybe a breaks an alliance, maybe it doesn't. And I hate to see players go out on bad luck.

My suggestion is to create a rule where individual immunity can be traded for nullify the vote of 1 or maybe even 2 other players.

It is post merge, were the ability to break an alliance is critical.

The opportunity is won through skill.

It adds another dimension the game as right choice depends on the player and the circumstances at that point in the game.

It adds drama - you can protect your alliance, but you put yourself at risk.

Most game changing move fizzle due to lack of votes - this addresses that problem.

Adding variables to the game makes the game less predicable, therefore more entertaining for the audience.

Worth playing for?

Who do a talk to about making this happen?

HoH8 said...

News Flash of the Day..."Dimples" Jeff Probst has gotten married, we learned he is 50 yrs old and married a 40 yr old actress...☺...

Vomit said...

I completely seen that where it looked like Ozzy had his arm around Cochran, tho that's not the first time they tried at a possible something between them; remember the challenge where they were tearing the pig apart? Didn't Jeff say something like "Ozzy gives Cochran a little kiss"??

Also I agree Edna really doesn't use her head when she scrambles & says the most twisted things...

Love the recaps Sean!! :D

Anonymous said...

They need to bring back the reward challenges , they help change the dynamics of the tribe . More so when the winner is someone on the out ,It would also have help in stopping Boston Robs / Coaches puppetry .

Anonymous said...

They need to bring back the reward challenges , they help change the dynamics of the tribe . More so when the winner is someone on the out ,It would also have help in stopping Boston Robs / Coaches puppetry .

Eudaemon said...

Thanks again for the recap Sean! Edna's demise this week is a shining example of another Survivor (non) player who got checkmated cos she didn't think more moves ahead. She knew she was 6th in that alliance from day 6 and did nothing for the next 25 days to change things, until she literally ran out of moves.

I thought the puzzle was a great team challenge but a poor individual immunity challenge. II challenges should not allow anyone to directly influence the performance of another player. It's just not fair. Especially when the norm after the merge is that certain players are more at risk than others and clearly need the II more. It's hard enough to beat the others for II, and to have to beat them all together?? Similarly, I have never been a fan either of allowing Survivors to sit out of II challenges for food. You are rewarding players who did not earn the reward, and further penalizing those who don't have the numbers.

PS. I can't really tell what was the goal of the next duel, as the cube colors and patterns look trivial. But it does seem like Edna could be trying to memories the start state of the puzzle, rather than confirming she got everything right, as suggested by Jeff's voice-over.