Survivor Nicaragua Recap: "It Tastes Better When You're Stealin' It."

I’m still shaking my head at Marty’s idiotic move last week, giving Sash the Idol. Now, with the merge already revealed in the trailer for this week’s episode, it looks like an even dumber move. This week, would Purple Kelly finally say something, since we’re already on the eighth episode of the season? How is Dan still in this game? And what is the South Dakota Word of Honor?

My Random Thoughts:

- NaOnka was edited to look like villain for the first few episodes, then she came across as this harmless little wallflower for the last couple of episodes, and now she’s back to the villain again. I think I have it figured out, though: When NaOnka wants to be the “sympathetic” character that you’re not supposed to hate, her eyebrows are up so high you would think they’re auditioning for a role in her hairline. But when she’s the nasty crazy person, she’s got her eyebrows all furrowed. She’s basically a living emoticon.

- Jane and Chase talking about doing P90X workouts while filling their water jars was one of the most awkward things I’ve ever seen on this show. I get that you can bond over your common North Carolina roots, and your dead husband/dead father, but P90X? Really? And what was up with their “well” where they were getting their water? Instead of some dingy old hole in the ground like we usually see, their water source looked like some sort of treatment facility with reverse osmosis and refill options.

- Naonka stealing and hiding the flour made absolutely no sense. Why on earth would you steal the stuff that can make you food…when you’re hungry…and not use it to actually make the food? And if that weren’t crazy enough, to then tell Alina, who you want to get rid of…and then telling the whole tribe? It’s like NaOnka went to the Holly School of Insane Behaviour, where you learn to do idiotic things that serve no purpose, only to admit to them a short time later. I feel the only justification for this absurd turn of events would be to find Dan’s $1600 shoes in the lagoon, and then fill them up with the flour that NaOnka stole. Maybe then it will close up the seam in the universe that is causing these morons to do crazy things. Stealing fruit I can understand, but none of this made any sense. Even sock-burning, water-dumping Russell Hantz must have been shaking his head at the TV.

- Sash talked about wanting to take NaOnka to the Final Three, which makes total sense. She’s in the process of burning so many bridges that no one will ever vote for her. Just like the aforementioned Russell Hantz, who single-handedly gave Natalie and Sandra $1 million dollars each just because they weren’t him. Yes, Sash is an arrogant douchebag, but at least he’s using his head.

- Purple Kelly said 3 things this episode: 1) “Oh.” 2) “She caught another fish”, and 3)“So, we need to get, like, us girls together…and…um…Sash. And get Marty out. And that’s it.” Why is this woman on this show? Are they planning on editing her in at any point? Even Brent from Survivor: Samoa is like “she’s getting screwed by the editors!”

- 30 minutes into this episode, as the teams headed to the Immunity Challenge…nothing had happened yet. Well, they merged, there was redundant food stealing that came full circle, and Jane caught a fish…but are you telling me that’s half of your episode?

- I thought that this was another great challenge. I’m happy to see that the old standard “cut a rope and raise a flag” to end a challenge has been replaced by tiles smashing at the end of every one, but I have to think that Mark Burnett got a great deal on tiles in bulk.
- Jane wins her challenge and keeps on trucking until the boys are done. Give the crazy old cackling bird credit, she even refused to break her tile at the end. Fabio, meanwhile, made it look effortless, cruising to an Immunity win. Dan lasts 3 seconds. Shocking.

- Speaking of Dan, did you happen to notice the scene where he was telling Marty that Chase was planning on blindsiding him? First of all, his tank top was on backwards! The tag kept flicking up from the front (er…back) while he was talking, and he WAS GRABBING HIS CROTCH. And I don’t mean a scratch, or an adjustment, I mean a full-on “I’m just going to hold this thing” sort of grab. Very awkward.

- What is the “South Dakota Word of Honor”? Is that like a pinky swear? Or a “cross-my heart, hope to die.” Any readers from South Dakota who can shed any light on this?

- Can we please make sure that the cast knows how to spell each other’s names before Tribal Council? Marti? Aleina? It’s just embarrassing.

- Benry called Alina a “100 Percent Grade A Dirt Squirrel?”, which, to be fair, is soooo much worse that a lesser grade Dirt Squirrel that is only, say, 80%. Nice burn, Benry.

- I liked Alina, but she never had a chance once Kelly B. was gone. Too bad.

Next Week: NaOnka leaves Jeff speechless.

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